Difference between revisions of "Miss Equilism 2005"

Latest revision as of 07:09, 12 May 2006

Once again, Bismarcia played host and judge to the event and sign up for the 2005 competition started January 1 2005. The Sign-up saw a huge number of people entering however, not all of them eventually competed.

The following people registered for the competition and actually played. The ones that registered but never submitted any answers are not listed. The numbers behind the names indicate the rounds they played.

• Tse Moana (1,2,3)
• Defaultia (1,2)
• Grothistan (1,2,3)
• Haken (1; but disqualified for submitting after the deadline)
• Friend Computer (1)
• Sub-Actuality (1)
• Nooterland (1,2)
• Funny Looking Islands (1)
• Equility (1)
• Moo-Cows with Guns (1,2,3)

For other editions of the Miss Equilism Pageant, see Miss Equilism.

Round 1

In the first round, beginning January 10, the contestants had to answer three questions (through pm) to determine who were worthy enough to ascend to Round 2. The questions asked were the following:

• If you could be one historical figure, who would you be and why?
• What is the most pressing problem facing the world?
• Every Miss Equilism must have a good sense of humor, so please tell the judges a joke.

Tse Moana

While taking a rather vague stab at the first question, made up a lot of ground with her answers about the most pressing problem facing the world and then cemented her position in the semi-finals with her answer to tell a joke:

A cowboy enters a small town and sees and Indian sitting before his house. He decides to go talk to the Indian and so he introduces himslef and they sit down and drink something, talk a bit.
Then the cowboy notices the Indian's dog.
"D'ya mind If I talk to your dog?"
"Dog doesn't talk," the Indian replies.
Ingoring that, the cowboy addresses the dog: "So, how're you doing?"
"Oh I'm fine," the dog replies, "good food, regular walks and a warm bed."
The Indian is completely stunned.
Then the cowboy asks if he can talk to the Indian's horse.
"Horse doesn't talk," the Indian replies.
But again, the cowboy addresses the Horse; "How're you today?"
"Doing fine, good company here, nice green grass, and an indoor bed."
The Indian is now completely confused."
The cowboy looks around and then asks: "Can I talk to your sheep?"
Upon which the Indian goes pale and says: "Sheep lies!!"

5.2 points out of 6

Grothistan

He made an overall strong entry, and the judges were very pleased with all of their answers. However, we found ourselves most impressed by the answer to the first question, which showed a lot of thought and consideration:

I would be the russian anarchist Pjort Kropotkin. He traveled through an incredible number of different environments, from being at the court of the russian tzar, to the life of a poor european propagandist. He lived the life of the noble, the officer, the student, the prisoner, the propagandist, the administrator and the geographer traveling to lands that weren't on the map. He made a gigantic impact on Russia and the left of Europe, and he possibly lived the most exciting life that has ever been lived, in my opinion.

5.3 points out of 6

Defaultia

He had an overall strong set of answers, and showed great poise under questioning. However, due to the political nature of some their answers, the some of the judges penalized the nation slightly, but the mood was quickly lightened by the joke section and what damage was done was quickly repaired with a round of belly laughs.

There was a guy who absolutely hated lawyers. One day, he saw a genie in a bottle, who granted him the usual three wishes. The catch was that for everything he got, every lawyer would get twice as much.
His first wish: $1,000,000. All lawyers get 2 million.
His second: a ferrarri. All lawyers get 2 ferrarris.
His third: He asked to donate a kidney. I hope you know what happens to the lawyers.

4.9 points out of 6

Moo-cows with Guns

An alternate selection who was a last minute addition to the pageant, but there was never any indication that they were any less prepared for the competition, as they answered in a consistent and steady manner. In particular, their response to the second question was centrepiece of a series of well-thought out and at times amusing responses.

Besides the obvious ones of war, poverty, natural disasters, etc.....I think in general people having to be right is one of the most pressing problems in the world. If people had more acceptance of other people's perspectives and ideas we might not have as much violence and war going on, let alone murder, domestic violence, etc.

4.6 out of 6

Nooterland

His entry was, well, they were a little ditzy, and yes, at times, did miss the point of some of the questions... but there was a quality that was just so intrinsically... pageant-worthy about the whole thing that to deny them a place in the semi-finals would seem to be a travesty.

I think of all the figures that historically one could be, I'd have to go with "buxom". Buxom has been popular throughout time, equally attractive to infants and grown men. Say what you will about "waifish", "athletic", or even "hourglass" figures - they are just fads that come and go. Buxom stands the test of time. From Reubenesque to top-heavy, buxom is a figure that just plain works. I'd like to see Ms. Equilism be a buxom figure. Wouldn't you?

4.2 points out of 6.

Round 2

In Round 2, beginning January 23, the contestants again had to answer a few questions to determine which three would go on to the Finals.

• If you were to become Miss Equilism, what would you like to achieve in your reign as queen?
• What do you feel is your best quality and why?
• What makes your country the best in the world?
• If you had to choose between immense wealth, true happiness or worldwide fame, which would you choose and why?
• Please sing the song that you feel you most identify with(paste the lyrics of the song in your entry)

Moo-Cows

He put together quite a package of answers, from a rousing rendition of For a Dancer by Jackson Browne to this lovely answer to "What would you like to achieve in your reign as queen?":

Well, of course, peace and prosperity throughout the world, and gender parity everywhere! I would genuinely like to preserve the respect that our forum members have towards each other, and following from that, the great discussions and the fun we have. Without that initial respect, some of our more controversial topics could truly turn ugly and it just wouldn't be fun to be here. And if it isn't fun, why be here? And beyond just preserving, to use that respect [and fun] to increase our numbers. I guess I would like to see that seemingly unconditional respect generate into everyone's personal life as well.

The judges were also impressed by Moo-Cows honest appraisal of what makes their country the best in the world:

In NS, it's just obvious. Any country that supports bovine freedom and self-determination produces happy, friendly milk. And everyone knows that happy, friendly milk, exported to other nations, creates happy, friendly citizens.

5.1 out of 6 points times the round modifier of 2 = 10.2 points

Tse Moana

Her entry was both heartfelt and sincere, and the judges were impressed by her sentiments. For instance, her answer for the choice between fame, money or happiness showed a lot of poise and a wealth of experience.

I would pick true happiness. I have in the past week learned that that is most important. I'll explain. As you know I moved to the UK on the 16th and I've been here for a week now. So far I'm not happy, if I could I would take a plane this instant and go back. I miss my family, my dog, my friends and my home, in short, everything. It is very, very slowly getting a bit better (I haven't cried for two days now), but still it gets cold inside my heart when I think of the four months I have ahead of me. Therefore I go for true happiness because I hate to feel this way.

And her answer about her best quality also a big points getter.

I don't know, if I think about it all I come up with are things I'd best see changed, my guardedness when it comes to my inner world and feelings & emotions for instance is something I'd rather see lessened a bit. Ehm... (some minutes later) I think my ability to listen to people and feel for them, with them.

5.0 points out of 6 times the round modifier of 2 = 10 points

Grothistan

The first contestant to answer, but unlike the oscar race, there is no penalty to going early in the process. We were very pleased by their presented answers. For instance, their answer for their best quality was somewhat inspired, as it not only answered the question, but said a lot about the contestant's character as well.

Well, I've never liked to praise myself. I think that we are what we are, through other people. If we take an example, many people define themselves as "funny". I consider that a bit shallow, even if is true. Thing is, there is nothing that can objectively defined as funny. If the world around you thinks you are funny, you are funny. If they do not, you aren't. Many people have called me funny, but it would give me an intensive bad feeling in my stomach to call myself funny. I guess that is my best quality - I like humility, in others, but especially in myself.

In addition, the judges were enthralled by the contestant's rendition of Reinventing Axl Rose by Against Me!

We want a band that plays loud and hard every night
That doesn't care how many people are counted at the door
That would travel one million miles and ask for nothing more than a plate of food and a place to rest
They'd strike chords that cut like a knife
It would mean so much more than t-shirts or a ticket stub
They'd stop at nothing short of a massacre
Everyone would leave with the memory that there was no place else in the world
And this was where they always belonged
We would dance like no one was watching
With one fist in the air
Our arena just basements and bookstores across an underground America
With this fire we could light
Just gimme a scene where the music is free
And the beer is not the life of the party
There's no need to shit talk or impress
Cause honesty and emotion are not looked down upon
And every promise that's made and bragged
is meant if not kept
We'd do it all because we have to, not because we know why
Beyond a gender, race, and class, we could find what really holds us back
Let's make everybody sing
That they are the beginning and ending of everything
That we all are stronger than everything they taught us that we should fear

4.8 points out of 6 times the round modifier of 2 = 9.6 points

Round 3 (Finals)

Round 3, which began March 2, was the Final round and would decide, through four more questions, which of the three contestants left would be crowned Miss Equilism 2005.

• What movie quote do you think best fits you?
• If you were given the power to affect one of these changes in the world, which would you choose and why: the achievement of World Peace, the end of human hunger or the eradication of 15 major life threatening diseases.
• Which school subject do you feel the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study more, and why?
• On a lighter note, which kind of clothing do you feel should be banned from the face of the earth for the rest of human history (none and all are not options)?

Grothistan

• What movie quote do you think best fits you?

From The Motorcycle Diaries:
Leper: Is that why you became a doctor? To save lives?
Ernesto: Yes.
Leper: Well, you are wasting your time.
Ernesto: Why?
Leper: Because this life is hell.
Ernesto: Yes, it is. But we have to fight for every breath… And tell death to fuck off.

Contrary to other questions, I wasn’t specifically asked for an explanation, but just to be sure, I’ll give one anyway. I think this quote suits me, because it explains my ideology of life pretty well. When saying that we should “tell death to fuck off”, death is symbolic for any kind of obstacles or troubles in life. The point is, that we shouldn’t let ourselves be stopped by difficulties. We must strive towards our goals, even if it seems that the road is too long or too harsh. This may sound political, but it applies for any goal in life.

• If you were given the power to affect one of these changes in the world, which would you choose and why: the achievement of World Peace, the end of human hunger or the eradication of 15 major life threatening diseases.

I would bring the end of starvation. Every 5th second, a child dies from starvation. 12 children a minute. 72 ever hour. Ending starvation would not only be incredible in itself, but also in the sense that it would make it easier to end the other plagues of the world. I feel that the world is better suited to treat its deceases when all the people of the world are fed, than it is suited to feed its people when all the people are without decease.

Concerning world peace, while it sounds nice, it is not a goal in itself. It can be defined in two ways;
The temporary end of war
The permanent end of war
The first is without meaning (as wars would just come again), and the second would do more harm than it would do good. It would let dictators safely oppress the people in their nations, with the rest of the world having a chance to interfere.

In a world such as ours, the international community must be able to interfere with the internal matters of sovereign nations, if crimes against the humanity is being commited.

• Which school subject do you feel the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study more, and why?

I think that the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study many subjects, most notably those of political and social theory and the history of the world. I think that you get the most out classes by combining them, as it leads to a wider understanding of the subject, and makes them easier to relate to.

• On a lighter note, which kind of clothing do you feel should be banned from the face of the earth for the rest of human history(None and all are not options)

Golf shirts. I don’t even think I need to explain this one.

Moo-Cows with Guns

• What movie quote do you think best fits you?

From Hackers:
[Reading from "The Hackers' Manifesto."]
Agent Bob: "This is our world now. The world of the electron and the switch; the beauty of the baud. We exist without nationality, skin color, or religious bias. You wage wars, murder, cheat, lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto." Huh? Right? Manifesto? "You may stop me, but you can't stop us all."
Cereal Killer: Spandex: it's a privilege, not a right.
Dade Murphy: Mess with the best, die like the rest.
Razor: Remember, hacking is more than just a crime. It's a survival trait.

• If you were given the power to affect one of these changes in the world, which would you choose and why: the achievement of World Peace, the end of human hunger or the eradication of 15 major life threatening diseases.

This is a tough question. If I approach it in the way John Nash came up with his Nobel-prize winning principle of governing dynamics that changed game theory and economics forever, this is what I would come up with:
If I choose the achievement of World Peace, then there would be no more war and people could focus more on building up their individual nations and the world as a whole, but hunger and disease would not necessarily be addressed.

If I choose the eradication of 15 major life-threatening diseases, war would still ravage the world and people would still die of hunger. Granted that more resources could be poured into solving these other problems, but still millions would still die every year due war and hunger, as well as from all the other life-threatening diseases that exist.

If I choose to end human hunger, then people have enough to eat every day. People would be more resistant to disease because they would have proper nutrients and sufficient caloric intake to boost their immune systems. And a contributing factor to war would be addressed, thus perhaps reducing the outbreak of hostilities between nations. But war would continue and life-threatening diseases would still exist.

If I choose none of these choices, then I am free to work on a multi-pronged attack on these and other problems that face the world. I am more likely to come upon a successful solution that would include the achievement of world peace, the eradication of major life-threatening diseases and the end of human hunger.
My answer then, is to choose none these choices.

• Which school subject do you feel the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study more, and why?

I believe the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study philosophy, especially the art of critical thinking. Being able to sift through information, especially in today's information-saturated environment, and use that information to come to well-thought out and sound conclusions is one of the most important skills a person can have. Philosophy and critical thinking can be applied to any given subject, from literature to physics and everything in between. It can be used in as basic task of deciding what brand of detergent to buy; the expensive brand advertised on TV or the equal-in-quality but cheaper store name brand. When applied to politics, critical thinking skills are key to making informed decisions, not only about people running for office, but also about the important issues of the day in every country.

I would encourage the youth of Equilism to be exposed to this subject, and its practice (sometimes well and others not so well done) on the Open Debate sub-forum, with its many topics and debators. While it is far from formal, it is interesting and one can see the different styles of the people who participate.

I truly believe that learning about philosophy in general, and critical thinking in particular, will serve a person well throughout his/her entire life and improve the quality of a person's life.

• On a lighter note, which kind of clothing do you feel should be banned from the face of the earth for the rest of human history(None and all are not options)

I firmly believe that spandex and polyester are two materials used for clothing that should carry prison terms for anyone caught wearing them. They should be jailed for life.

While spandex is fine for bicyclists who are in great shape, it is so not fine for people with bumpy bodies because it hugs and emphasizes all of those bumps. It is enough to make me cry from laughter (which I have to suppress in public) to see very overweight people, men and women, who want to get into the "spandex look." How am I supposed to pick up my pizza and get home without incident when I am confronted with the guy who used to be a jock but isn't anymore, who thinks he still has the body of Adonis. I am seated waiting for my pizza and his spandex-covered bulging stomach is at eye level. I could die from repressed laughter.

And then there's the girls at the gym. What am I supposed to do when I'm on a machine and a girl bends down with her spandex covered chest on the machiine next to me? If you look, they think you're a perv. If you don't look, they think you're gay. No, spandex should only be allowed by licensing those who can wear it.

After playing several hours of Leisure Suit Larry on my X-Box, I went to out to a restaurant with my parents who had come to see me at school. They took my roommates and me out to dinner.

At the table next to us was a bunch of guys in polyester suits just like in the video game. My roommates and I were ready to bust a gut, but of course we couldn't because we were in public and with my parents. My Dad kept kicking me under the table but I really didn't think people actually wore those clothes. The guys looked ridiculous, kind of sleazy and well, sleazy.

Since people obviously don't know better, every polyester piece of clothing ever made should be burned. And if it can't be burned because it is too synthetic, then it should be shot into space and let some other race figure out what to do with it.

Tse Moana

• What movie quote do you think best fits you?

Coming from Star Trek IV, in which Kirk and company traveled back in time to the 1980s to find two whales and take them back with them to the future. Kirk, of course, meets a nice young lady, Dr. Gillian Taylor, who works at the Cetacean Institute and they go out for diner one evening.
Gillian: Don't tell me, you're from outer space?
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space.

The part best befitting me is Kirk's line, although for me it works more as a metaphor. I have a vivid imagination and think about a lot of things most of the time. So that line tells that, yes I'm from Earth but my mind 'works' in outer space and a lot of other strange places a lot.

• If you were given the power to affect one of these changes in the world, which would you choose and why: the achievement of World Peace, the end of human hunger or the eradication of 15 major life threatening diseases.

Hmm, this being a pageant I feel I should choose World Peace (smiles in remembrance of the Miss Congeniality movie). I would however, after an agonizing time thinking about it, choose to eradicate human hunger. Eradicating hunger would make people healtier already and give them more strength to fight life threathening diseases. Also, the richer countries can then, not having to spend money on food programs and such, spend that money on medical research.

Then, concerning World Peace, how much I would love to live in a world that would be like that, I have grown slightly pessimistic in that regard. However, eradicating hunger again can be a step on the way to tackle that bigger issue.

• Which school subject do you feel the youth of Equilism should be encouraged to study more, and why?

I pick history. Not so much because we don't get it enough but because the focus is off. The focus of history teaching lies too much with Hitler, WWII, the Cold War etc.. basically, the 20th century. I plead for a more wholesome history teaching that pays more attention to a greater part of human history. I agree, learning about WWII and Hitler and such is important to make sure atrocities like that neer happen again but humankind has a collective history of thousands of years (millions if you take up the evolutionary process with it) and education should not focus on just 50 to 100 years of that time.

• On a lighter note, which kind of clothing do you feel should be banned from the face of the earth for the rest of human history? (None and all are not options)

Thongs, really do I have to explain? They are the bane of existence together with, although on a slightly lower level, high heels.

The Big Finale

After these answers had been received, a vote was opened so Equilismers could vote on their favourite. The vote almost ended in a tie with 5 votes for every contestant and 5 abstains. Eventually though, the tie was broken and Moo-Cows with Guns won the second Miss Equilism Pageant.

Moo approached the stage an absolute mess and gave a heartfelt thank-you-speech:

I especially want to thank the other contestants; I think you all were worthy of winning the pageant this year and it was a hard competition because of the caliber of the contestants (I think it was either 38 or 9mm). I want to thank everyone who voted and my parents, Harvey and Bessie Holstein (at least I think it was Harvey, it could have been Jerry Jersey or Gary Guernsey but my mom thinks it was Harvey), and of course Che Guernsey, who without him there would have been no Bovine Revolution and I would not be here today (I was slated to be sent to become steaks when I was old enough).

I stand in solidarity with Bovines everywhere to let them know that you too can succeed and win the tiara! MoooOOOOOOO

Miss Equilism 2004, Tse Moana, then came forward and placed the tiara on Moo's head.

Lastly, Nooterland was chosen as Miss Congeniality.

Final Results

1. Moo-Cows with Guns 29.8 rounded to 30
2. Tse Moana 25.2 rounded to 25.5
3. Grothistan 24.9 rounded to 25
4. Nooterland 11.2 rounded to 11.5
5. Defaultia 8.9 rounded to 9
6. Equility 3
7. Friend Computer 3
8. Funny Looking Islands 3
9. Haken 1