Difference between revisions of "Original Snub"
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:This made [[Eris]] angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it [[Kallisti|καλλίστῃ]] <nowiki>("To The Prettiest One")</nowiki> and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. | :This made [[Eris]] angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it [[Kallisti|καλλίστῃ]] <nowiki>("To The Prettiest One")</nowiki> and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. | ||
| − | :Now, three of the invited goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing | + | :Now, three of the invited goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything. |
:Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of Gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. | :Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of Gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. | ||
Latest revision as of 11:25, 9 October 2005
The Original Snub
(From The Principia Discordia, all Rites Reversed)
- It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.
- This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it καλλίστῃ ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.
- Now, three of the invited goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.
- Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of Gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
- Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.
- As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.
- And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
- Do you believe that?
