Difference between revisions of "J.L."

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Generalissimo J.L. (born September 19, 1959) is the President of Roach-Busters, and has been since June 2, 1990.

Born in RB City to two historians, J.L. witnessed the deaths of his parents at the age of ten, after they published a book said to be "counterrevolutionary, perverse, subversive, and libelous" by the Marxist government. That incident instilled in him a hatred of communism that would last all his life. Many biographers also attribute his anti-communism to his gene pool; J.L. is related, by blood or marriage, to Ian Smith of Rhodesia, Alfredo Stroessner of Paraguay, Joseph McCarthy and Robert E. Lee of the United States, Anastasio Somoza Garcia, Anastasio Somoza Debayle, and Luis Somoza Debayle of Nicaragua, and Draza Mihailovich of Yugoslavia.

J.L. joined the Roach-Busters People's Revolutionary Liberation Army (RBPRLA) at the age of sixteen, by lying about his age. His secret goal was to eventually achieve such a high rank and such a large following that he could stage a coup d'etat to oust the communist government and establish a free-market republic respectful of human rights. Convincingly feigning loyalty to the government, J.L. advanced rapidly through the ranks. He traveled extensively abroad, receiving guerrilla warfare training in the U.S.S.R., Red China, Angola, North Vietnam, and Cuba. He also read thousands of instruction manuals, memoirs, strategy guides, and other books by thousands of history's most renowned generals, guerrilla leaders, and other combatants. He extensively studied the military history of the Confederate States of America, Rhodesia, Israel, and UNITA. He graduated with an Associate's Degree from RB City Community and Technical College, went on to receive a Bachelor's Degree at the University of Havana, an M.D. at Harvard Medical School, and a PhD. at MIT. By the age of 31, he had assumed the rank of General of the Army.

On June 2, 1990, he staged a mostly bloodless coup, assassinated the communist premier, relaxed press censorship, restored civil liberties, and privatized the economy. Shortly afterwards, free and fair elections were held, and J.L. won by a landslide. He has remained in power ever since. Under his leadership, RB became a military, industrial, and economic powerhouse, and a regional and international superpower that played a significant role in world affairs. His staunch, militant, unwavering anti-communist stance inspired awe in the world's rightists, and fear and revulsion among the left.

J.L. is married to Thiansiri Theveenugul, a woman of Thai descent whose parents were both incarcerated for their anti-communism. Upon assuming power, J.L. promptly released them as well as all other political prisoners. She is related, by blood or marriage, to Emperor Bao Dai, Le van Vien, Nguyen Cao Ky, Nguyen ton Hoan, and Nguyen Van Thieu of Vietnam; Boun Oum, Vang Pao, and Lee Lue of Laos; Lon Nol of Cambodia; Chiang Kai-shek of China; Syngman Rhee of Korea; Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines; and Thanom Kittitakchorn and Thaksin Shinawatra of Thailand. She is 98% Thai, speaks both Thai and English fluently, and has IQ estimated to be 138. She is known for her diffident, gentle, endearing demeanor, unconditional love and fidelity to her husband (which he returns), compassion for RB's poor (she personally donates 10,000,000 USD to charities every year), intelligence, and patriotism. She is of the Buddhist faith.

J.L. is also known as a a devout born-again Protestant Christian, who credits the many successes of his tenure to God. He prays every morning and evening, and has expended great amounts of his own fortune hiring missionaries to evangelize the countryside.