Antarcticad
From the archives of The First Creek Falls Age.
WORLD CUP FANS WARM TO ANTARCTICAD
PARTNER IS SHUNNED
(Huge close-up of a smiling Antarcticad; small side picture of dejected oreadest with hands on hips and kicking ground)
He may not have kicked many goals on the field this tournament but Antarcticad sure has kicked a few winners with the fans in Tanah Burung. And it’s not just the amazing green haircut. Throughout the series he and crowds have got on like a house on fire. So it comes as no great surprise that he has been popularly elected as people’s player of the tournament. Oddly, his red counterpart, Oreadest, hardly rated a mention.
Errinundera’s champion goalkeeper and recently appointed WC6 captain / coach, fionar, has no problems with their extroverted behaviour. “There isn’t any hint of artificiality about these guys. What you see is what they are really like. To them life is fun. They play best when they are happy.”
Outgoing captain / coach, filthyl is just as positive in his comments. “Sure, they didn’t kick a lot of goals in Tanah Burung but they followed my instructions to the letter. So, for all their individuality they are great team players.”
antarcticad was typically exuberant in his reaction to the award. “This is sensational, man,” he said. “Tanah Burung has been like a second home to me. Somehow the local fans and Errinundrians are on the same branch. Particularly the fans in the villages. They now how to live and have a good time. Football is fun, you know. The villagers understand this.”
His erstwhile colour co-ordinated twin, oreadest, wasn’t so sanguine. “Look, I mighta understood being pipped at the post but I got hardly any votes at all. I’d have thought my red hair was much more noticeable than his green hair. Well, that was the theory. I can only imagine it happened because it’s always antarcticad and oreadest, not oreadest and antarcticad. Well, next world cup I’m doing my own thing and he won’t know which tree he’s in.”
Our man in Tanah Burung, pvox, travelled to Findabaya, the scene of on-field and off-field triumphs for the team, to find out why they found our man so magical.
Warung Agus (village head lady): You should see him dance. The way he wiggles his bum is out of the trees.
Mogong Pilo (tree farmer): I really liked how they joined us in the trees after the match. We sat and told stories until dark.
Reelise Reeus (student): We called them monkeys to take the piss out of them but they really got into the spirit of it. I loved antarcticad’s and the other guy’s monkey routine each time a goal was scored.
Ovatha Dop (village sports administrator): At their own expense, antarcticad and the red bloke have arranged a young footballer exchange program between Findabaya and their village, Ellery Camp. A young woman, Canabe Livit, will be going there next year. They are terrific blokes.
Min Kibaz (shadow puppeteer): Weren’t the acrobatics they did after the match amazing. They could make a serious living in Tanah Burung just from that.
Canabe Livit (budding footballer and first recipient of the Findabaya – Ellery Camp exchange program): His haircut is just wild. When I first saw pictures of antarcticad and oreadest I couldn’t make up my mind to have green or red hair. antarcticad’s picture was first in the paper so I went for his colour.
We asked football commentator, spouth, to rate him as a player. Like some Errinundrians he thought he was a little overrated but reminded us that he was still only nineteen years old. “I think he will be under the microscope much more next time round. Much bigger things will be expected of both of them. I hope they deliver. If they do it will be delirious. antarcticad is already only second to moschatum in pure skill level. And his fitness levels are magnificent. I await WC6 with anticipation.”
As the team’s boot-studder, phudson, was not available we give the last word this time to princec, the team’s gopher, “my wife, dip, and I went out for dinner with him. We laughed all night. We were spellbound.”
