User:Joe Bobs

The Community of Joe Bobs.

The Community of Joe Bobs is a far-left state from the Q102 region. Economically the country has reached a stable level, leaving daily strikes and mass walk-outs a distant memory. The humanitarian crisis of autumn '05 was caused by mass unemployment that began with the voluntary departing of the gambling trade, which employed 35% of the nation's workers.

The crisis was short but severe. It lasted only a matter of days thanks to the actions of the nation's leader and founder Non-navigator Joe Bobs, whom the country is named after. He quickly requested aid packages from the nations of Q102, which arrived with impeccable timing. What some would say really stopped the riots was the festival of Q102 day, which celebrates annually the founding of the region. It inspired peace and good will in the hearts of looters and riot police alike.

Following the end of the mass riots began a new government initiative to build a structured and stable economy, which forced the government to aboandon some of the projects they had hoped to begin. Unfortunately this view was not shared by all, and one particular group of dissatified Marxists orchestrated the kidnapping of several major figures from media, industry and government, including Non-navigator Joe Bobs himself. The leader suffered brutal torture, at which he was forced to give into the terrorists demands, and allowed them to break away and form their own nation in the northern most region of Joe Bobs. The new nation was named Mwee Hee Hee Ha Ha, and is run by a dictator, intent on crippling his former home. The two nations declared themselves at war.

It is important to first understand a little of the history of Joe Bobs and its founding members for the reader to appreciate how this war came about. The nation was founded on essentially Marxist beliefs and aimed to be a socialist utopia. So when Joe Bobs began to adapt more less-extreme policies, some of the original founder members of government became dissatisfied. One in particular, Dr. Tanuki, Head Advisor to Non-navigtor Joe Bobs. He had been noted for his strong opposition to the armament of Joe Bobs, which held him under suspicion from the Minister of Defence, Dr. Insoliamor, who began researching elaborate missile defence systems the same day as Mwee Hee Hee Ha Ha declared independence. Ongoing investigations continue to find all who were involved in this conspiracy.

After the nation was founded and the capital, Edge City, was in its infancy, Joe Bobs was attacked by pirates. However, the buccaneers came in peace. The captain came directly to the palace and said, without so much as a hello beforehand "gekkos! Thousands of them! Take them please! For Godsakes!" Non-navigator Joe Bobs attempted to explain that the nation was avowedly atheist but the man just screamed and threw himself off a nearby cliff. It was discovered all his men had gone insane due to the tickly and playful nature of gekkos which had infested their ships. The gekkos soon became an everyday feature of Joe Bobs, one which was welcomed by all. In thanks to the pirates who brought the gekkos, International Pirate Day is celebrated on November 4th every year.

Alliances

It was during the humanitarian crisis that Joe Bobs first developed it's close relationship with Pacifist Cowards, a like-minded nation that began sending regular aid to Joe Bobs. When the Civil War began, Pacifist Cowards were amongst the first to provide military assistance, despite it requiring them to fight alongside their enemy, Nevareion. This close relationship was eventually legislated as an alliance, which was signed on Christmas Eve '05.

Religion

The Community of Joe Bobs is atheist, and has anti-religious policies as the basis for many of it's laws. The anti-religious attitude has been criticised by many as being hypocritical considering the abundance of Civil Rights in other areas. Whilst the people and government reject religion, there are many philosophers and writers which are held in an almost demi-God light. Most prominent amongst these is Comedian Bill Hicks, whose "Revelations" tour script is viewed almost as a holy book. Also the works of Nietzsche, the music of Iggy and the Stooges amongst others are held as central to the character of the people and their history. The national anthem is Patti Smith's "Hey Joe (Version)."

Drug Policy

As part of the leader's faith in Bill Hicks, drugs laws are non-existant in Joe Bobs. As long as a person's actions harms no other, the citizens are free to do as they wish. Marijuana is actually encouraged, as are many other natural drugs. This has caused problems in meeting deadlines in areas such as construction, as worker's regularly miss work as they have to sit indoors and analyse patterns in carpets or discuss the music of the Rolling stones for six hours. The government's official position on this is "meh. If they're enjoying themsleves that's cool. It's better to spend the day opening your mind then slaving away at some job you don't even like." This now infamous quote was followed by schemes that encouraged all citizens to do jobs they enjoy, which massively increased the happiness of citizens but saw huge decreases in employment in areas such as refuse collection and sewage management.

Capital

The capital of Joe Bobs is Edge City, which is, curiously, in the very centre of Joe Bobs. At it's centre stands the Presidential Palace, built in the style of Moscow's Winter Palace. It overlooks Central Square, a huge square which is home to many statues which pay homage to the nation's that provided relief in the humanitarian crisis. At the very centre stands a giant 70ft fig leaf, which represents the generous donation of figs provided by Arrentra.

Terrorism

The fig leaf was subject to the second terrorist suicide bombing of Joe Bobs' Civil War, the first being on the Lottie Dogs embassy in a suburb of Edge City. Whilst the first attack cost few lives and little damage, the second was monumental, causing an estimated 4500 deaths, with many bodies remaining unidentified. The bomb was placed in a van at the foot of the fig leaf. The initial explosion was huge, followed by the collapse of the statue. The statue was immense and extremely heavy. When it toppled, it caused a mini-earthquake through the centre, causing further explosions and crushing many people in the busy Central Square. The man responsible for organising the act, Hernando Consejo, was caught and sentenced to life imprisonment.

Mwee Hee Hee Ha Ha

The nation is severely totalitarian, as Dr. Tanuki himself controls all matters in the nation. Geographically, the region is very mountainous and temperatures range from -10 - 8° C. Dr. Tanuki is thought to have picked the region as the mountainous terrain produces many caverns and caves, allowing for ultimate secrecy. The weapons projects are thought to be quite advanced, but go unmonitored as all weapons research units are deep underground. The Mwees are known to be in contact with terrorist groups and presumably exchange or sell technologies with these groups. Whether Dr. Tanuki still resides in MHHHH is unknown, as his military Chief is Admiral Kay, of Joe Bobs' Navy. It is thought he was bribed by Dr. Tanuki to join his side.

The Mwee's army is formed half of marines from Joe Bobs' Navy, under the command of Admiral Kay, and half from child soldiers (ranging from 14 - 20 in age) that have been "programmed" by Dr. Tanuki o produce an almost robotic army. All soldiers are well-experienced, although poorly equipped and with almost no air support. It is in the seas that the Mwees have superiority, due to their hijacking of Joe Bobs' Navy. Joe Bobs' ports were reinforced and aided by large defences, but have still suffered regular raids at the hands of the Mwees.

The Civil War

The first battle of the war involved three joint attacks that ocurred simultaneously. One led by Nevareion's troops, which attacked Military Base A3, the head command of the Mwees. (Base A1 was destroyed very early on by a precision strike and Base A2 was found to be constructed on a Native American Burial Ground.) The Nevarese troops were outnumbered, but their opposition consisted of poorly armed conscripts that had very little military training. the Nevarese won the battle with little trouble.

The Cowardly forces were invading a well-fortified fortress that was perched high on a cliff face in the mountains. The soldiers inside were tough child-soldiers and it was difficult to attack the fortress. However, it was rumoured the Ace Of Clubs, Dr. Tanuki, was located within.