Antarcticad
- The title given to this article is incorrect due to technical limitations. The correct title is antarcticad.
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Extraordinarily gifted striker who became more famous for his hairstyles than for the number of goals scored.
Contents
World Cups
- Stats include qualifying matches
- leighm medal is voted upon by the Errinundrian coaching staff for the Player of the Series.
- 1 goal
- 3 leighm votes
- Errinundera qualified but didn't progress beyong the group stages.
- Voted people's player of the tournament (see Errinundera News Media archive: WORLD CUP FANS WARM TO ANTARCTICAD)
- 13 goals
- 13 leighm votes
- Errinundera lost in the play-off for 3rd place in a penalty shoot out.
- 14 goals
- 9 leighm votes
- Errinundera wins the World Cup.
Note: antarcticad's name is an example of Errinundera's quaint use of capital letter technology
That hair
In the first matches of World Cup 5 antarcticad's hair cut was inspired by tree ferns. In fact he was named after the soft tree fern (Dicksonia antarctica). Yep, he looked like he had fern fronds growing out of his head. His fellow Ellery Camp striker, oreadest was named after the Gippsland waratah (Telopea oreades) so he sprouted a bright red style. In the second qualifying round against Tanah Burung it went down a treat. From there the legend grew. By the fifth match everybody at the matches would have dyed green or red hair, regardless of which country they barracked for.
The two also became noteworthy for their gorilla routines during matches and their acrobatic stunts after the games in the stands or trees with the fans. Oddly enough they weren't kicking a lot of goals but no-one seemed to mind.
By the group rounds it was becoming noticeable that the number of green dyed heads were outnumbering the red dyed heads.
Despite this worrying trend, the two young strikers set up a young player exchange program between Ellery Camp and the Tanah Burung village of Findabaya.
The Depa Doping Debacle
antarcticad was stood down from the team for the first seven qualifying games of World Cup 6 after he tested positive for the horse stimulant, depa. Investigations eventually revealed that he had been doped by an envious oreadest, using drugs he purchased in Tanah Burung. It transpired that he resented antarcticad's greater popularity with the fans. He also felt that he wasn't getting the chance to show his skills while antarcticad was playing along side him. The ostracised oreadest never played for any Errinundrian team agan, however he was welcomed with open arms in Tanah Burung where he had a successful career in the local competition.
There was an odd and unexpected twist to the depa scandal. Errinundrian genetic engineers crossed the depa plant with the infamous Tanah Burung evisceratomatoes and came up with a very beneficial hybrid. People would glow purple for a while after eating them but that only added to the appeal.
More Hair
Soccer fans were stunned when antarcticad returned to the football field. His hair glowed brightly. And this had nothing to with depa or evisceratomatoes. He declined to reveal how it was done. At the first qualifying match for World Cup 7 antarcticad shocked everyone again, but this time he was bald.
“It’s not by choice I tell you,” he said. “It all fell out. The glowing hair was powered by a subcutaneous battery linked to optical fibres sown into the scalp in between the hair follicles. The battery leaked and has killed all the hair follicles. That’s the price of fame, I guess.”
And that was end of the hair circus.
Career off the Field
- Coach at the National Football Academy in Ellery Camp
- Head coach at the National Football Academy
- Head of the National Football Academy
- Married and had 15 children with rostac
From the Archives
Read the transcript of an interview from Late Night Live with adamsp here.
Read an account of antarcticad's hat trick game in World Cup 7 from the Errinundera News Media archives:
