Audioslavia's Football History

Football History and Statistics

Audioslavia are affectionately known as 'The 'slaves'. This has nothing to do with actually slavery, its just because of the 'slavia' part of the name.

Audioslavia current strip is claret and green stripes. They have had this strip since World Cup 16, from World Cup 4 to World Cup 8. The colour of their shorts changes between white, black and claret. Other styles of their strip have included a plain claret shirt with sky-blue flashes between World Cup 11 and World Cup 16, and a claret and green striped shirt with three stripes accross the chest for World Cups 9 and 10. Their away strip is either all white or white with sky-blue stripes.

The team's record victory is 6-0, a result scored in World Cup 6 qualifying against Iuthia, and against Adrasuvare in World Cup 16. Presumably they'll get another 6-0 scoreline in WC26.

The 'slaves record defeat is 4-0 at home to Squornshelous. Although Squorn are a well established team now, that game was their first ever. The result still hurts today.

Some of that pain was taken away in World Cup 12, Audioslavia's most successful world cup to date. On the way to the final, Audioslavia played Squornshelous again for the first time since their original meeting. Squornshelous scored four again, but so did the 'slaves. One more goal in extra time sealed the win for Audioslavia. It remains the highest-scoring match the team have ever played in. Sharing that honour are NEWI Cefn Druids, whom Audioslavia beat 5-4 in WC17.

Audioslavia also reached the final of World Cup 19. However, their route to the final was less impressive as their WC12 run. Whereas in World Cup 12 there were twenty-one goals in the 'slaves knockout-round matches, in World Cup 19 there were only four. They needed penalty shoot-outs to get by Nova Britannicus and Dance 2 Revolution after 1-1 and 0-0 draws respectively. They scraped past Turori 1-0 in the quarter finals and lost out in the final 1-0 to Crystilakere. Despite the failed run, the 'slaves became the world's number 1 side for the next world cup.

They repeated this pattern in World Cup 20. A successful run saw the 'slaves top their group, overcoming an opening day loss to The Lowland Clans by beating Liverpool England 3-1 and Bedistan 2-1. They went on to score victories over One Red Dot (2-0) Bedistan again (1-0) and old foes Squornshelous in an epic 5-3 thriller, before losing out 1-0 to never-before-got-past-the-quarter-finals team Vilita in the final. The 'slaves stayed in top position in the rankings despite the failure. In losing to the Vilitan Jungle Cats, the 'slaves became the first and only side to ever lose three World Cup Finals (WC12, WC19, WC20) ahead of Bedistan (WC8 and WC16) and Spaam (WC7 and WC13)

There have only been four matches in Audioslavia's history where they have conceded four goals. Three of these matches have been against Squornshelous.

After World Cup 23, the 'slaves slipped to eighteenth in the world rankings, their lowest position since World Cup 9, and their first foray out of the top ten for fifty-four years. The new ranking also ended the longest ever run in the top ten by any footballing nation. Ironically, the slump came despite the fact that Audioslavia had not lost a single game in the whole of the World Cup 23 qualifying or finals competition. After topping the Region Five qualifying group, the 'slaves proceeded to draw all three of their first round games against Commerce Heights, Sarzonia and Chicanda.

Domestic Football in Audioslavia

There are two levels of competition in Audioslavia, both of which are similarly as popular as each other. The first, and better quality, is the Audioslavian County Championship (ACC). This league contains just eight teams who each play each other twice over the course of the season. The season runs from January to December, and the fixtures are played on the last day of every month, as well as Independence day (17th December), Boxing Day (26th December) and Easter Sunday (mid april). If the season fals in a World Cup year, then any fixtures which coincide with the World Cup Finals are played in the weeks preceeding the start of the tournament.

The ACC is contested by the eight counties of Audioslavia. They are (in the order of which they finished last season) Machinegardia, Soundgardia, Cornellby, Caylerden, Phoenix, Ridern, Wallingham and Fatherham. Each of the eight teams take their players from the different football clubs within their county.

The second level of competition is the Audioslavian Regional Championships (ARC). Each of the eight above counties contain their own league system. The league championships contain between two and five divisions of twelve to sixteen teams each, with a basic two-up, two-down system of promotion and relegation. The best players from these leagues are chosen to represent their county in the ACC, whilst of course, the best players from the ACC are chosen to play for the Audioslavian national side, as well as any Audioslavians who play abroad and are deemed talented enough by the Audioslavia manager. The ARC season runs from August to May. The fixtures are played on Wednesday nights or Saturday afternoons, except for when they coincide with ACC games.

Famous Audioslavian Football Matches

Audioslavia 1-1 Lemmitania

(Lemmitania win 3-2 on penalties) World Cup 4 Second-Round

A game which marked the advent of the phrase 'Mad Zack', describing Audioslavia's then best player Zacheria De La Rocha. 'Mad Zack' became the first Audioslavian to be sent off after picking a fight with Lemmitanian midfielder Mick Mickelson, just after the 'slaves had taken the lead. Lemmitania came back and equalised in the last quarter of the game, and went on to win on penalties. Fortune-wise, the two teams went different ways after that match. Lemmitania were beaten in the WC4 quarter-final but got to the final of world cup 5. The 'slaves went on a losing-streak and failed to qualify for the next world cup. Despite the split in fortunes, it was that match which gave the Audioslavians and Lemmitanians a friendly rivalry which was to follow for years.

Audioslavia 0-4 Squornshelous

World Cup 5 Qualifiers

The start of the slump, the 'slaves were mauled at home by a skilfull Squornshelous side who went three up before half-time and never gave the 'slaves a hope. With an ageing side, Audioslavia were no match for the exciting Squornshelean side. Squornshelous went on to reach the quarter-finals of that tournament.

Audioslavia 5-4 Squornshelous

World Cup 12 Quarter-Final

Excerpt from the WC12 RP thread:

The match kicks off over excited remarks by Butch and Chris, talking about how they'll finally get a chance to get back at Squornshelous after their 4-0 defeat all that time ago. However, they are silenced by Koren Jackson's first minute goal.

Truman got the ball down the wing, pulled it back for Pavon, who's square ball found Knorr lurking on the edge of the box. Knorr's shot was charged down by Aiden Carsley, but the ball went back of Knorr's leg and into the path of Koran Jackson who blasted the ball into the bottom corner with Pedder left stranded on his feet.

The Squornshelian players dance away to the corner where most of the Squornites are to be found.

Within another couple of minutes, Squornshelous almost score again. Audioslavia are too cautious in attack and Croft's causal ball forward easily picked from Maidens' feet and knocked up front where Knorr is waiting. Knorr plays Richards through, and its two on two in the 'slaves' half with O`Hara and Reid defending against Richards and Jackson. Richards sidesteps Reid and beats him for pace, making it into the penalty area ahead of him, feinting a shot and instead playing a ball for Jackson to run onto. Luckily, O`Hara is more than capable of keeping up with the forward and, sliding through, scrambles the ball away for a corner.

Squornshelous waste the corner, and Audioslavia work on getting themselves back on level terms. Maidens sees a couple of chances go begging and Croft sees a shot clip the top of the bar and out. Audioslavia try to maintain possesion, frustrating the Squornshelous players but ulitmately not making any real headway, before Smith intercepts a weak ball by Ally Marsden and races upfield. Smith runs into Reid, who manages to get a foot in and knock the ball away, but it only goes as far as Pavon who curls over a fantastic ball to Koren Jackson who, with one deft flick, lobs Pedder for 2-0. Squornshelous' 'score early, score often' tactic seems to be working.

Lee Branson is animated on the touch-line, and as the half-time whislte blows, its clear that Audioslavia are going to get 'a severe talking to'. Both sides make a change at half-time. Audioslavia's is attacking, with Wayne Bury replacing Ally Marsden as an attacking midfielder, and Michael Salazar replacing Zak Truman in the Squornshelous defence.

Audioslavia emulate Squornshelous by finally grabbing a goal back in the opening five minutes. Bury holds off a Squornshelous defender and flicks the ball infront of Callum Jensen. Callum beats Arnaud for pace, and his cross is converted quite luckily by the flailing knee of Iain Maidens. O`Malley takes the ball out of the net and runs back to the 'slaves half. Audioslavia are back in the game.

Squornshelous restore their two-goal cushion within ten minutes. Taking the game to the 'slaves, Jackson plays a one-two with Knorr, hits the ball to Pedder's right only to see his shot rebound off the post and in the way of Reid who scoops the ball out for a corner. The corner is taken short by Richards, and curled into the box by Brooks. O`Hara gets a head to it, but only succeeds in knocking the ball down to Knorr who volleys Squornshelous into a 3-1 lead.

With half-an-hour left, Audioslavia look to be heading for another defeat, before O`Malley recieves the ball on the edge of the area with Squornshelous three players around him. He holds off a tackle from Salazar, turns on a sixpence and breaks through the two other defenders into the area. The keeper sees the situation early and rushes to meet the striker. O`Malley's control however is poor controlling the ball too close to the keeper, but in a desperate lunge to knock the ball away from Allen's pounce, he strikes the ball against his legs. It rebounds outside of the box to Maidens, but Maiden's chip is wayward and goes over the bar. A disappointing missed oppotunity, but Audioslavia get the kick they needed.

Four and a half minutes go by before Audioslavia finally do score. Maidens again tries his luck from outside the area. His shot is sliced and weak, but Salazar's clearance is poor, and the ball is placed into Jensen's stride. Jensen fakes a cross, instead cutting inside, 'megging Fuertes and trying to curl the shot around the keeper. Allen gets a hand to it, the ball falls behind the advancing O`Malley, but Shearer is on hand to bag the 'slaves their second goal of the game and get the game to 3-2. Its shaping up to be a cracker.

Seventy-Seven minutes gone, and Audioslavia's attacks seem to be becoming less fruitful. Craig Belmore comes on for a tired Iain Maidens, whilst Squornshelous make two further defence substitutions, bringing Karl Edmonds on for Earvin Smith, and taking forward Philip Knorr off and bringing on midfielder Alex Fink. With five men now in defence, Audioslavia need something special to break through, and that something special comes in the shape of Nicky Shearer. Shearer recieves the ball twenty-seven yards, obviously exhasperated after the wingers and strikers have again failed to break through the Squornshelous defencive wall. Shearer mouths the words 'f*ck it' and strikes the ball as hard as humanly possible. Allen is left motionless in the goal, watching the ball rocket into the top corner. Audioslavia 3-3 Squornshelous.

Audioslavia now have their tails up, and take the game to Squornshelous, filled with the hunger and vigour they found during their victories over Europa Brittania and Gesamkuntswerk. Jensen and Croft play a one-two with each other, and Jensen plays the ball through for O`Malley who runs on to it. Finding himself behind the scrambling Squornshelous defensive line, he bides his time, spying Kieran Murphy sprinting in ahead of the defenders. With a well-placed high-ball, he finds Murphy, and with a simple header Murphy puts Audioslavia into a four-three lead.

Audioslavia look brilliant and Squornshelous look tired, and with time ticking away, Audioslavia play 'keep-ball' and force the Squornshelous team to chase the game. The seconds tick by, but Audioslavia become over-confident. The desperate Squornshelous attempts to get the ball off them have put Audioslavia right back in deep positions. O`Hara plays the ball back to Pedder, who's only choice is to clear the ball upfield. The ball falls to Alex Fink, and as the clock ticks past the 90 minute mark, Fink starts what could possibly be Squornshelous's last attack of World Cup 12.

Fink plays the ball up to Pavon. Pavon turns and releases Richards who scarpers down the wing. Carsley closes him down, and Richards goes to beat him, but is brought down by a desperate challenge. No its Squornshelous who look good and Audioslavia who look breakable. Richards heads into the box and Pavon takes up the responsiblity for the free-kick. Pavon wipes sweat from his brow, places the ball down on the very corner of the penalty area, and steps up to it. The Audioslavian players are expecting the cross, as are the Squornshelous players, but Pavon has other ideas, and his shot is fired low and hard at the near post. Pedder also believes that the ball would be crossed in, and is left absoloutely stranded as the ball flies hard and true into the near-side top corner. Pavon races away back to the Squornshelous supporters in the crowd and is pounced upon by the Squornshelous team. Branson puts his head in his hands in the dugout, Shearer looks at Pedder, Pedder looks sheepish. The final whistle blows seconds after the re-start.

Both sides start extra-time looking cautious, careful not to give a goal away. Audioslavia make their final substitution, bringing on Paul Ward for Kieran Murphy.

Audioslavia maintain possesion, but its Squornshelous who make the first chance. Pavon knocks the ball ahead to Knorr, who splits the Audioslavian defence with an inch-perfect ball through to Jackson.

Koren Jackson bears down on goal, dummies keeper Matty Pedder out of his shorts, but knocking the ball too far away. Keeping the ball in, he spies Knorr making a run and beating a tired James Reid for pace. He chips the ball over but its behind Knorr and cleared by the back-tracking Croft, and a fantastic chance goes begging.

The game bogs down going into the end of the first period of extra time, with both sides performing like tired boxers at the end of a punishing fight. Like boxers, both sides were willing to do anything to avoid being knocked out. Halfway through the second period, with neither side making any real progress into the other's terriotory, the ball falls to Paul Ward on the wing. Ward, who's only played twenty minutes of the game and is still sprightly, runs at a startled Squornshelous defence. Paul is the fastest player to play for Audioslavia and it shows, as he absoloutely skins Salazar, cuts in behind Rivera who's scrambling back to cover the defenders. Ward aims a shot but is tripped by Fuertes. The referee points to the penalty spot.

Fuertes is furious at the referee and chases him down, earning the centre-back a yellow card. Arnaud holds him back, but Pavon is equally as furious and expressing his anger towards the referee is given his marching orders. The replay shows that the challenge was a good two feet outside of the area and should warrant nothing more than a free-kick and a possible booking. Bury comforts a distraught Pavon and they share a knowing glance. Belmore has a word with Fuertes and they both seem to be in agreeance about something, but O`Malley refuses to talk to anyone, knowing that he has a penalty to take.

The stadium goes silent, as Aaron O`Malley places the ball down on the penalty spot. He walks back, turns, trots up to the ball and strikes it low to the goalkeepers right. Allen guesses the right way but the ball flies underneath his torso. Audioslavia lead 5-4.

Squornshelous look disheartened, but a few wise words from the experienced Jackson and Knorr help to keep their minds on the job. With only five minutes left in the game, Squornshelous try to equalise.

Jackson goes for a long-range strike but his shot is saved by Pedder, Jackson again has a shot blocked by the defence, and Knorr sees a diving header spin harmlessly away from the goal. Running into injury time, Squornshelous plan their last attack, but a through-ball from Richards is cut out by Bury, and as he launches a ball up front to the two strikers, the final whistle blows.

Final Score at 'The Can' in Lemvoola: Audioslavia 5-4 Squornshelous

Audioslavia 4-3 Commerce Heights

World Cup 12 Semi-Final

Excerpt from the WC12 RP thread:

Audioslavia start the better side, dictating the pace of the game and refusing to show the ball to the CH side. Just as it appears that the 'slaves are just keeping possession of the ball for the sake of it, O`Malley plays Jensen through with a beautiful ball, his shot is well saved by Vojtilo, but Craig Belmore is on hand to pick up the pieces, and gain his first ever goal for Audioslavia in eight years.

Audioslavia stay on top of the game for most of the first half, coming close through an O`Malley header and a long range effort from Aiden Carsley which rattles the cross-bar. Audioslavia seem to be in such good form that Paul Ward is even playing well!

Commerce Heights cant seem to make an impact on the game, although Quigley comes close after taking on Branson and Reid in the 'slaves defence, only to be penalised for an alleged elbow to Reid's face, earning him a yellow card. The game pauses for a while whilst a few Bulldog players vent their anger at the referee.

The fracas zaps Commerce Height's concentration at a vital time, and Audioslavia capitalise by going up the field, passing round a frustrated CH defence and scoring through a cool O`Malley finish.

By half-time, Audioslavia are 2-0 up and cruising. Unfortunately, Commerce Heights make a tactical substitution, replacing the ineffective Darren Yee with one Alan Belmore. After half-time, CH began to take control of the game

Alan Belmore cancelled out the GODMODding powers of Audioslavia's own puny Craig Belmore, and the wheels of the "rand* # Gen" began turning the other way.

First Alan Belmore gained his side a penalty, as Alan Belmore tripped over the outstretched leg of Alan Belmore. The Audioslavians cried Foul, but seeing as 'Foul' is Gesamkuntswerkian for Spatchcock the referee was merely confused, and Alan Belmore despatched the penalty for 2-1

Ten minutes later Quigley was fouled on the edge of the box, and Belmore scored a magnificent free-kick, with the ball rebounding off each of the floodlights before bouncing into the goal. 2-2

The Bulldogs needed only two minutes to take the lead, as Alan Belmore was tackled on the edge of the box by Branson, but the ball ran out to Quigley who lobbed a stranded Matt Pedder to put the bulldogs into the lead.

Audioslavia however, knew what they had to do to stand any chance in the match. With 20 minutes left, James Reid ran into an unsuspecting Alan Belmore and broke both of his legs. The striker will probably be injured for a whole hour, as his godmodding skeelz allow him to regenerate like a motherf*cker.

Audioslavia pulled level in the 85th minute, Craig Belmore's replacement Wayne Bury played a through-ball to Aaron O`Malley, who's delicate chip brought the game into extra time.

The two sides battled hard throughout extra-time, with Sherwood coming close twice for CH, and Bury forcing a good save from Vojtilo. The deciding goal came on the stroke of half-time in extra-time, as Callum Jensen let fly from the edge of the box, Vojtilo blocked with his feet, and Aaron O`Malley arrived into the box to get his second hat-trick of the tournament.

Final Score (AET) Audioslavia 4-3 Commerce Heights

Audioslavia 5-4 NEWI Cefn Druids

World Cup 17 First Round

Excerpt from the World Cup 17 RP thread

The meeting of two teams, both in the top ten and with a record of having scored seven goals between them in their previous encounters... was never going to be dull was it?

And so it wasnt. Where Audioslavia's first match saw them grind out a result in pouring Progressan rain, their second match of the group saw the sun shining almost as bright as the performances of the twenty-two players on the field.

The match opened, as these matches do, with a goal. Maddison's eletric pace took him past 36-year old Ben Pearce on the left wing. The winger faked a cross and instead turned inside a backtracking Pearce beautifully. Maddison whipped a low ball in for Po who expertly skipped over the ball, thus dummying the two 'slavian centre backs and letting Trevor Law run onto it to bury the ball past Fenwick after just three minutes.

The goal came as a slap in the face to a 'slave side still unhappy and not being able to find their momentum. Audioslavia slowly took the game to the Druids and on the eighteenth minute equalised in spectacular fashion. Tanner launched a high crossfield ball to Marriot on the right. Marriot looked as if he was going to nod it down to Johansen but instead with a quick turn and a burst of pace, controlled the ball on his chest and flicked it over a suprised Joe Matthews. Marriot took the ball a few paces and let fly with the outside of his right foot from just off the corner of the eighteen yard box. The ball curled and dipped at lightening pace, clipped the back post and nestled in the corner of the net, becoming the greatest goal the seventeen-year old had ever scored.

From there the match was absoloutely thrilling end-to-end stuff. Po hit the bar at one end, Bracken had a shot saved at the other. Po saw a header tipped over by Fenwick, whilst Marriot went on a sparkling run only to be tackled brilliantly by Hinton. A brilliant game to watch, the match saw the spectators on the edge of their seats until finally they got to see a third goal.

Johansen carried the ball down the line for Audioslavia but saw his cross charged down by Matthews. The ball dropped to Rodgers and the Druids began a lethally quick counter-attack. Rodgers clipped the ball to Posters on the wing who, with a beautiful first touch, sliced the ball with the outside of his foot so it curled round the approaching Calem O`Rourke one way whilst Posters went the other way, meeting it on the other side behind O`Rourke. Posters didnt take the ball down the line, instead sprinting full pelt at Johnstone, trying to get the young Audioslavian centre back to cack himself. Johnstone was having none of it and as Posters approached and tried to go past, stuck out a sharp boot and knocked the ball away, sending Posters sprawling. The danger was not over however, as the ball quite simply rolled away for midfielder Mo Leicester to strike it full pelt from fully thirty yards. The ball seemed to arc upwards, evading Fenwick's futile reach and rocketting down off the bar and into the bottom corner.

If spectators expected the 'slavians to come back and equalise again, they were about to be suprised.

The goal preceeded a horrific onslaught on the Audioslavian goal as the Druids sought to stamp their authority on the game. Within two minutes they had made it three-one as Po got his head onto NEWI Cefn Druids' fourth corner kick in succession and hammered the ball downwards into the corner underneath a flailing Fenwick.

Within just one minute it was four-one as again Posters weaved his magic to set Law up with a shot. Fenwick beat the ball away with his right hand but only succeeded in sending it to Po, who outpaced Romanov to get to it and tapped the ball home.

The half-time whistle came as a saviour to Audioslavia who, despite playing well for the first forty minutes, found themselves floundering in shock as the Druids attacked them relentlessly.

Both sides came out for the second half having made a tactical switch. The Druids replaced goalscorer Mo Leicester with defender Roland McDonald to act as a defensive midfielder to protect the Druids lead, whilst the 'slaves threw on striker James Laver for right-back Calem O`Rourke and reverted to a 3-5-2 formation with three centrebacks as opposed to two centrebacks and two fullbacks.

For the first few minutes of the second period it looked like the 'slaves switch was going to backfire as the Druids' fierce counterattacks to advantage of Audioslavia's new deficiency at the back. Po almost got his hat-trick when Rodgers put him through on goal, but Fenwick came out to dive at the striker's feet and make a good save.

NEWI Cefn Druids' counterattacks were becoming more frequent and were turning into attacking spells themselves, but on the sixty-eighth minute they got over-cocky and Audioslavia countered themselves. Marriot recieved the ball on the halfway line and knocked the ball up field to the target man James Laver. Laver nodded the ball down to Bracken who, with a burst of pace, knocked the ball between the two centre-backs and raced in to strike low past Bell for four-two.

Any thoughts that Audioslavia had just scored a consolation goal were dispelled when, after attacking with relish for a few minutes, Bracken volleyed home a Johansen cross to cut NEWI's lead from three goals to one goal.

Realising the match was still all to play for, both managers went to play every card they had. Audioslavia brought on both their spare strikers, last week's hero William Ryder and the un-tested Deane O`Laughlin. In response, NEWI manager Simon Greaves took his striker Trevor Law off and replaced him with the experienced full back Trevor Jones.

Audioslavia peppered away at the NEWI Cefn Druids goal, searching for the chance which could see them nick a point. Time ticked away with few chances thanks to the Druids' vigourous midfield and their stone-wall defence. It would be eighty-seven minutes before Audioslavia got their first goalscoring opportunity. Laver took control of the ball on the edge of the area and, as he went to knock the ball to the right hand side was clipped by a recovering NEWI defender and went down. The referee gave a free-kick on the edge of the area. Marriot lined up to take the shot and struck the ball in much the same way as he struck his earlier goal, hitting the ball hard and having it curl and dip towards goal. Bell did brilliantly to get his fingertips to the shot but could only succeed in diverting the ball's path do the underside of the bar, with the ball falling a foot over the line.

Audioslavia 4, NEWI Cefn Druids 4, and the match wasnt over yet.

A noticeably flustered Trevor Kallins took off centre-back Amos Hinton and replaced him with teenage striker Rhys Owens in a last ditch effort to regain the lead. Audioslavia retreated back to their own half, and it looked like the final minutes would be dominated by a desperate Druid side. Po and Owens both had shots charged down whilst Maddison sliced an effort away to the right hand side. The Druids attacked throughout the four minutes of injury time but still the Audioslavia defence held their ground. It was apparent they were holding on for the counter attack as Bracken, Laver and Ryder all stayed up front. With ninety-three minutes and twenty-nine seconds on the clock and the referee about to blow for full time, they got one.

Johnstone smashed a clearance as far as he could up front. Druid defender Ron Lambeale went to head the ball back but mis-timed his jump and saw the ball ricochet straight upwards in the air. Bracken leapt to get the ball ahead of him, dropping the ball down for Ryder and Laver to take up field.

It was two-on-two with Laver and Ryder being marked by the two full-backs Nutting and Matthews. Ryder struck the ball down to Laver who looked like he was going to lose the race for it to Matthews. Luckily, Laver got a foot to it and trapped the ball as Matthews dived for it. Turning and sprinting away, Nutting had no choice but to sprint over to Laver and so try to play Ryder offside. Ryder dropped back however, and Laver's through-ball found him in acres of space with a desperately backtracking Trevor Jones ten yards behind. Ryder bore down on goal, faked a few times to get Bell to commit himself and, with the slowest, most languid, most infuriating lob ever, chipped the ball over the advancing keeper to see the ball drop under the bar and over the line.

Full-time came almost immediately and the Audioslavian bench invaded the pitch to the roar of the claret and green faithful, whilst the white and black colours of the NEWI crowd sat and stared in disbelief, coming round to politely clap the two sides and pay homage to probably the best world-cup match either set of supporters have ever seen (unless any Audioslavians were at the 5-4 quarter-final beating of Squornshelous twenty years ago).

Audioslavia 5-3 Squornshelous (aet)

World Cup 20 Semi-Final excerpt from WC20 RP thread

Eight goals, three red cards, two last-minute goals and a partridge in a pear tree made the semi-final of World Cup 20 one of the most memorable ever.

It all started on a calm morning in Starblaydia. The trees were singing, the birds were swaying, all was quiet except for a mouse. And then came the realisation. Today was the day of the semi-final. Audioslavia vs Squornshelous in one of the most talked-about matches in football history.

Squornshelous's four-goal annihilation of Audioslavia, way back in World Cup 5, is still talked about today. As is Audioslavia's epic 5-4 win over Squornshelous back in World Cup 12. Since then, the two sides have played out a nil-nil draw, and Squornshelous have defeated the 'slaves 4-1. Such is the rivalry between the two teams, the match enticed more than twice the viewers to TV screens as the Vilita-Rejistania match, although admittedly thats mostly because the majority of Vilita's population is currently based in Druida.

The 'slaves, in their change strip of sky-blue and white, met the red and black of Squornshelous in the dusky twighlight hours of a Starblaydian day. The floodlights introduced themselves just four minutes before the game, seemingly setting the scene for something special.

However, what followed for the first fourty-five minutes was not so dramatic. The first half was littered with fouls and bookings as both sides sought to gain some kind of advantage over the other.

In a scrappy half, Johnstone, Crevan and Dannes were booked for petty offences, whilst Snell and Darwin picked up yellow cards for the Pschychoes.

With little or no incidents, the first half closed and the second half began. The aggressive play was still in tact, as Darwin narrowly avoided getting sent off after a paticularly cruel challenge on Arie Jansen, but finally the two sides looked intent on scoring goals.

Jackie McLlroy got the 'slaves first chance on fifty-four minutes, pouncing on a Jansen through-ball but placing his shot wide of the upright. Then came Squornshelous's turn to shine, beating the 'slaves back into their own half and hitting the wood-work twice, first through Popov, then through Arnesson.

The breakthrough finally came on sixty-three minutes, in the Pschychoes favour, as Alexander Popov connected to a cross a diverted a header past Andersson for 1-0. Squornshelous were dictating the game and looking likely to extend their jinx on the 'slaves, and it almost happened too for Scott Neese, but the winger hit his shot high and wide from ten yards when he really should have scored.

The lucky break gave the 'slaves a boost as they started playing proper attacking football, and for the first time since the first half of qualifying, they actually looked like a world-beating side, searching for the equaliser by playing superb football. A goal surely had to be scored, and it did on seventy-seven minutes through a superb passing move, finished off by a cheeky lob from Oliver Dannes.

Five minutes later the 'slaves looked like they'd wrapped the game up after a neat interchange between Oskari and Dannes let McLlroy through to finish past Lenny Speer.

However, the Pschychoes weren't done, and Korolev threw on striker Jerald Nelson for midfielder Craig Snell in a last ditch effort to save the match.

With time ticking away, the Pschychoes were getting closer and closer to that elusive scoring oppotunity when Gerrard and Nelson played a one-two outside the area. Gerrard feinted a pass from the return and instead skinned Arne Carel out of his shorts and bore down on goal, but as he went to shoot, Greigs Johnstone slid in and upended the striker.

There were no disputes. Johnstone was sent-off for his second bookable offense, and Squornshelous had a penalty on the stroke of 90 minutes. Gerrard pulled himself up, dusted himself down, and struck the ball to Andersson's right for 2-2.

Both sides pulled up during injury time, waiting for extra-time to come around, which it duly did after three more minutes of stalemate. Like the quarter-final of World Cup 12, this match would go down to extra-time.

If the end of the second half was anything to go by, then both sides would be reluctant to attack for fear of giving away a goal. It seemed that way for a cautious five minutes, but then everything, everywhere, was goals.

Squornshelous took the initiative with a beautifully worked move which sent Popov through on his own against Peter Andersson. The striker wasted no time in slipping the ball under the goalkeeper for 3-2.

The 'slaves got back into the game sixty seconds later. A hoofed clearance from Aron Ceulemans bounced over Washington's head as he went to claim it in the air. Watching the ball bounce behind the midfielder, Jussi Oskari pounced on it and from fully thirty-five yards, decided to smack the ball as hard as he could. The ball jinked and swerved at a hell of a pace and left Speer helpless as it hit the top of the right-hand post and bounced in.

3-3, and things werent over yet.

The 'slaves kept coming and kept making oppotunities, and this time Squornshelous looked like they had no answer. Jansen's pace and McLlroy's finishing skills led to the 'slaves taking the lead for the second time in the game as Jansen outpaced Green down the left and squared the ball for the number nine to score.

The 'slaves were holding up well for a side with ten men, but that defensive frailty would allow Squornshelous to come back into the game with a series of long balls which Audioslavia's stretched defence could not deal with.

Squornshelous almost made it 4-4 with one such pass. Ceulemans' attempt at a defensive header had backfired and had given Nelson the ball thirty yards out with Popov to his right and Gerrard to his left. A quick pass to Gerrard sent the striker through to a one-on-one with the goalkeeper. Gerrard jiggled and jinked his way round Andersson, but with a desperate lunge, the goalkeeper knocked Gerrard down. Another penalty, another sending off for Audioslavia as goalkeeper Andersson was given his marching orders.

Goalie James Walsh was brought on for striker Oliver Dannes, and so the 22-yaear old goalkeeper was given the biggest test of his lif. Should the Pschychoes score the penalty, the 'slaves would really be on the back foot with just nine men, but Popov's effort hit the foot of the post to a collective sigh of relief from the 'slavian faithful. Still 4-3 up, the whistle blew for the first half of extra time.

Squornshelous dominated proceedings during the second period. Trevor Gerrard missed a long range effort and then saw a volley ricochet off the post. Then with ten minutes left, he had the greatest oppotunity of all to score. A corner by Washington had been completely missed by Walsh, still nervous in goal. Ceulemans duly let the ball fly past him to Gerrard who was waiting at the back post.

With an open goal and no-one around him, Trevor Gerrard should have scored, but instead sliced the ball agonisingly over the bar.

The miss proved costly. Walsh restarted the game with a short goal-kick to Carel. Carel knocked it up to Jansen, who skipped past Neese on the wing, played a wall pass off of Oran Crevan, and then sent over a killer ball to McLlroy, the lone striker after Dannes' substitution.

McLlroy laid the ball off for Jussi Oskari, but was then cruelly brough down from behind by a back-tracking Hank Darwin. There was no questioning the guilty party as Darwin was sent off for a second bookable offense.

With twenty-nine minutes registering on the clock, the 'slaves just needed to pass the ball down the wing and run the time down. The free-kick taker Karayan Araxie however, had other ideas. Araxie took the kick quickly with the goalkeeper off his line arranging his defensive wall. Caught unawares, Speer watched the ball helplessly as it dipped over him, only saved from his blushes from the cross bar. Speer was not to be spared for long however, as a goalmouth scramble ensued. Ole Erikson tried to clear but only found Jackie McLlroy's chest. The ball ricocheted between Erikspn's brother Sven's shoulder-blades before settling for Arie Jansen, who simply smashed the ball clean into the middle of the goal.

The final whislte sounded and accompanied the delirious yells of the Audioslavian faithful. They'd done it again for the second time in two world cups. Audioslavia were in the final.