Baseball in Zwangzug

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Baseball in Zwangzug is a traditionally low-scoring, defensive-oriented affair. There is no "book" or unwritten rules by which to play, and the designated hitter and intentional walk are unheard of. Teams generally use four starting pitchers and have a long reliever who is expected to pitch more games than not. While players are predominantly male, there are several fine female players as well.

Professional

The Batter Up! Baseball League is the nation's only true "major league" for professional athletes.

Teams

The first four teams were the "charter" teams; the second four joined after the first season.

  • Merano Mustangs: a dominating team throughout the first three seasons, the Mustangs play in Chet Barzun Stadium, named for the first commissioner of the league, in the country's largest city.
  • Noh Weir Red-Tails: surprisingly successful for a team coming from so small a town. They play in Wee Field.
  • Constantinople Cubs: home field, Swainyo Stadium.
  • Bangkok Oysters: they lacked a nickname and were barred from participation throughout the first season, but could put a starting eight together (With uniform numbers equal to scorekeeping positions, they were: Today, 3: Who, 4: What, 5: I Don't Know, 6: I Don't Care, 7: Why, 8: Because.) After being reinstated for the second season, they cobbled together some semblance of a squad, naming themselves the "Bangkok Indigenous Persons", an unsurprisingly short-lived moniker. They play in East Side Park.
  • Arlington Aurora: home field, Paddock Park.
  • Bassabook Grey Socks: home field, Delacruz Field.
  • 102d Gray Sox: home field, X Park. The above two teams have the greatest rivalry between any two in the league. Fittingly, in season 4, they ended tied, and their head-to-head record that year was used to separate them. (The Socks won the season series 5-1.)
  • Spenson Worms: occupants of the Worm Hole, Zwangzug's most modern stadium. (Before Spenson developed as a city, they were known as the Spaceport Worms.)

Seasons

First

There were high hopes for Opening Day, April 4th, with Composite Minister Ember Nickel in attendance to throw out the ceremonial first pitch, but they did not materialize. The first game was to be between the Merano Mustangs and the Bangkok team, but the entirety of the latter was suspended due to various violations of league policies. The season could not begin until April 5th, with the Noh Weir Red-Tails hosting the Constantinople Cubs.

The first season ended on May 27, less than two months after it had started, with the "first of breaks for players who are mostly sub-all-star, maybe "some-star" level, but we're going to throw together a national team anyhow...actually, they're not the ones getting the breaks. Scratch that, make this the first break for everybody except the ones who are all-stars, which are all of them, wait..." (Nickel's official designation) in the middle. With many of the players in the national team for World Baseball Classic 1 and the national delegation to the Second Summer Olympics, only six games took place. The final standings are given for only those teams that competed.

Team Wins Losses Percentage Games back
Mustangs 3 1 .750 --
Red-Tails 3 1 .750 --
Cubs 0 4 .000 3

Second

With the phenomenal success of the first season (literally hundreds of fans turned out to watch the Red-Tails upset the Mustangs in the final game), the commissioner eagerly agreed to the creation of expansion teams for the second season, which upset purists. Once again, the Mustangs finished with the best record. The most famous game of the season was the Cubs' 1-0 loss to the Indigenous Persons: the latter scored their sole run from a walk, a stolen base, and two sacrifice bunts. Lee Arneson of the Cubs pitched the first no-hitter in league history but lost.

Team Wins Losses Percentage Games back
Mustangs 12 2 .857 --
Red-Tails 8 6 .571 4
Grey Socks 8 6 .571 4
Gray Sox 8 6 .571 4
Aurora 7 7 .500 5
Worms 6 8 .429 6
Indigenous Persons 4 10 .286 8
Cubs 3 11 .214 9

Third

The third season featured three-game series between teams instead of one-game matchups, for a total of 42 games played by each team.

Team Wins Losses Percentage Games back Home Away
Mustangs 28 14 .667 -- 13-8 15-6
Red-Tails 26 16 .619 2 12-9 14-7
Grey Socks 24 18 .571 4 13-8 11-10
Cubs 23 19 .548 5 13-8 10-11
Gray Sox 21 21 .500 7 8-13 13-8
Aurora 18 24 .429 10 9-12 9-12
Oysters 16 26 .381 12 5-16 11-10
Worms 13 29 .310 15 5-16 8-13

Fourth

At last, the Mustangs were dethroned. The season highlight-and probably the turning point in determining the final standings-was the Mustangs' trip to Noh Weir. The Red-Tails won the series two games to one, with both of their victories being extra-inning nailbiters.

Team Wins Losses Percentage Games back Home Away
Red-Tails 34 8 .810 -- 19-2 15-6
Mustangs 33 9 .786 1 17-4 15-6
Grey Socks 24 18 .571 10 13-8 11-10
Gray Sox 24 18 .571 10 14-7 10-11
Cubs 23 19 .548 11 12-9 11-10
Aurora 16 26 .381 18 8-13 8-13
Oysters 8 34 .190 26 4-17 4-17
Worms 7 35 .167 27 3-18 4-17

National Team

Zwangzug has participated in all editions of the World Baseball Classic. In the second, the national team made it to the semifinals with an undefeated record. In the third, the team did not compete, but Zwangzug hosted.

The same roster was used for the first two editions. Of those, Ellis, Macdougal, Runnon, Cooper, and Eastman were Mustangs; Stirk, Quave, Lee, Grush, Root, and Goldberg Red-Tails; Ridge and Meyers Cubs, and the aforementioned I Don't Care and Because on the team that would become the Oysters. Schmidt, Leon, and Keer were in the Aurora; Paige, Donatelli, and Soyne the Grey Socks; Tomorrow, Stagg, and Percival the Gray Sox; and Staun, Williams, and Barnett Worms. Prior to the expansion draft (that is, for season 1), Paige, Staun, Schmidt, Donatelli, Bartnett, Stagg, Keer, and Percival had all been with the Mustangs; Williams, Leon, and Soyne with the Red-Tails; and Tomorrow an Oyster forerunner. A completely new team was introduced for the fourth tournament.

Ellis, Quave, and Runnon were probably the best players on the original team. The first two inherited the role of radio announcer for the fourth tournament, but didn't begin very impressively.

Prior to that, the announcer, known only as "the Vox", had been an enigmatic character who tried far too hard to provoke Zwangzug fans to critical thinking: specifically, critical thinking about the nation's economy. This failed dismally. The Vox's most enduring contribution was certainly nicknaming the team "the Zebras". While not very common in the country, they are known for their "team spirit" and have become (ironically, as the nation can be very internally competitive) a national symbol. (Concepts such as seeing the world in a "black-and-white" way are much more prevalent throughout the country.) No other team has earned this nickname, and it serves as a sign of baseball's (relative) popularity. Baseball in Zwangzug, then, is the most popular athletic activity. Which isn't saying much.