Crazy Friggin Monkeys
From NSwiki, the NationStates encyclopedia.
| |
| Flag of Crazy Friggin Monkeys | |
| Motto: Heh... monkeys... | |
| physical and political colorful regional | |
| Region | The land of Nonsense |
|---|---|
| Capital | Haight-Ashbury Town |
| Official Language(s) | Jive |
| Leader | The Fu Manchu |
| Population | A Lot |
| Currency | Hala Wala Wizbang |
| NS Sunset XML | |
- The Free Land of Crazy Friggin' Monkeys is a peaceful place where everybody does what ever they want. Arcade scores are way up, Mini-golf scores are way down. It is truly a paradise. It is located near Dude and Ed's Island.
Contents
Government
Departments
- Silly Hat Issuing Tract (S.H.I.T.): this section deals with the issuing of silly hats to all of the government officials corresponding to their job, title, and pay. This branch is incredibly important and has to be government funded and regulated or it would collapse. Each hat comes with a label that lists the three categories and comes with a function unique to the job. The hats help distinguish who is important and who is not. They also help normal people figure out whom they need better, because if someone is wearing a giant hat they know that they're important, and who's going to miss a giant hat?
- Fancy Titles grant more random patterns and vibrant colors.
- Important Jobs grant very large hats.
- High Pay grants different types of birds attached to the hat.
- The Fu Manchu: The title of the "leader" of the country. The Fu Manchu does nothing more than speak publicly, party, and act as a decoy to take the pressure off the real government officials. The Fu Manchu is appointed by Game Show. The show is on every year from July 1 to July 8 at arbitrarily assigned times. Interesting Fact, it is the second most popular show next to Ed, Edd, and Eddy. The Fu Manchu is paid very well and wears the largest, most random hat with a griffin on it to display his title, job, and pay.
- Willie Nillies: The name of the actual leaders of the country. Top scholars, economists, to-be politicians are elected as "advisors" to the Fu Machu. 13 people are elected to deal with the nation and issues concerning foreign and domestic affairs, law making and proposal, and partying. You know that "Man Law" comercial... that's exactly how it works, and there is a "you poke it, you own it man law."
- People's Choice: consists of foreign and domestic affairs, law proposal and making, and partying. National security is not needed because so far we have yet to piss anybody off. Foreign and Domestic Policies must be agreed on by 2/3 of the population to take effect. Once a law is made it must go through a 3 day testing process where it will act as a real law. The citizens will then decide whether or not to keep it for any reason, personal, political, or spiritual, or decide to get rid of it for, once again, any reason. If 3/4 of the population says "Nay" then it becomes ineffective. If they do not like any of the candidates they can choose "none of the above" on the ballot. If a majority of the people vote "none of the above" new candidates are selected to run.
Man Laws
These laws reflect the beliefs of the people and those opposed to these views should GET OUT!!
- If the food does not take up the entire plate, it is not a meal.
- If a dog is smaller than your foot, it is considered a cat.
- If someone farts or belches, one must rate the movement on a scale from 1 to 10.
- If you poke it, you own it (concerning any thing in bottles)
- If the MAN tells you to do something, you are morally obligated not to do it.
- If you're walking down the street and two or more people reach for the same thing on the ground, you must fight to the death... or until you realize its a penny or something and its not worth dieing for. Who ever is the victor (victor as in if their name is Victor) keeps the object.
- If a chicken ranbomly attacks you, you must make fun of atleast three movies during the course of the fight.
- All cell phones must have crime deturant, and must be used daily even if there is no crime taking place.
- Shinny, Colorful, or Fuzzy objects must be admired for atleast 5 seconds.
- At all times you must be aware that you are the second coolest person in the world... the Fonz being first.
- Instead of haggling you must beat eachother senseless with large wooden planks until one reaches the price they want.
- If you're offended by something, stare at it angrily until it goes away.
- No matter what anyone says, temper-tantrums are an excellent way to get what you want.
- When insulting someone, put it in knock-knock form.
- Example: Knock, knock... Who's there... YOUR FACE!!!
- People that think they're cool are shown a picture of the Fonz and slapped whenever neccessary.
- Proper and improper uses of the thumb
< Proper Use of Thumb
< Improper Use of Thumb
The Nation
Demographics
- Government Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
- Economy: Good
- Civil Rights: World Benchmark
- Political Freedoms: World Benchmark
- Government Priority: Education
- Population: 613 million
- Income Tax Rate: 100 percent
- National Fun-o-Meter Rating: Off the CHARTS!
- Major Industry: Book Publishing
Nation Culture
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The Fonz: national hero and model of coolness
- National Song: We're not gonna take it, Twisted Sister
- National Animal: Funky Monkey
- National Hero: The Fonz
- College Pass Time: Haky Sak (we spell it how we feel it)
- National Pass Time: X-Country
- National Day: Tuesday
- National Cartoon: Camp Lazlo
Leaders and Icons
- Coolness: The Fonz
- Political: Abbie Hoffman
- Musical: Jimi Hendrix
- Partying: Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters
- Manliness: The Juggernaut!!!!
- Best Looking: Me
- Founder: Casey Jones
- Balls / Crazyness: Ronald Reagan
- Running: Steve Prefomtaine, Jim Ryun, and Allen Webb
- Climbing: Jack Wilson
Economy
- From what we have figured out, the economy is dependant on how many monkeys are in barrels and how many barrels there are. One monkey represents 100,000 people's life, and one barrel represents 100,000 jobs. If there are low num. monkeys in low num. barrels then small amounts of people cannot afford things and a small anount of people have jobs to support themselves.
- Low num. monkeys = low inflation
- High num. monkeys = high inflation
- Low num. barrels = high unemployment
- High num. barrles = low unemployment
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This is what we have figured out our economy to be... barrels of monkeys.
Army
- Armies are for people who can't reason. We are a peaceful people and can usually battle aggression by throwing poo. diplomacy has worked well for us, and we have no need for an army.
Ambiguous Sun Activity
- During the months of late June, July, August, and early September never sets and during the months of late December, January, February, and early March the sun never comes up, this provides a difficulty with sleep and comprehension of time. The Summer time is called A.S.S. (All Sun Summer) and the winter is called D.A.M.N. (December Annual Monotonous Night)
Solutions
- From June 21st to September 21st government and business becomes voluntary and school canceled. The same applies for the day between December 21st to March 21st.
- To keep the population from breaking down during these periods, the government has installed a clock based on the average time of when a person sleeps, wakes up, and eats. This clock sends out reminders to household clocks through out the nation. The clocks will remind you what time it is and suggestions on activities that usually take place like eating, sleeping, and such. If you wish to have some fun and party, you can simply turn off the clock.
- Tourists are recommended to come in-between these dates or if they have to come during these dates they should stay for a short time or risk mental breakdown.
Geography
Monkey Domain
- This is where most of the wild and uneducated people remain. These people can be very hostile when insulted or confused. They usually strike with primitive attacks such as throwing poo or sticks. However, this is one of the most colorful and lush areas of the land and is looked upon as a gem to the other people of the island.
- Located in the central part of the island.
Climate
- Humid and hot during the A.S.S. period.
- Cold, wet, rainy, and foggy during the D.A.M.N. period.
Partying Plains
- This is the party central of the nation. Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters hold their traveling parties every summer here. People tend to sleep during the day and party all night here. The Ultimate spring break getaway is Smash Town located on the Peninsula la Surf. Skankin, partyin, rockin, and any other type of 'in' is always going on. There is no drinking age and a very well structured underage gambling circle. The Red Light District is located a few miles north of there and is a fun place to go if you want that type of entertainment ;] The Gulf of La Grange is another great place to party. Its coasts are riddled with good looking people and fun times.
Climate
- Sunny and 75 degrees all year round.
Hippy Isles
- The islands located in the Northern section of the island are a hotbed for hippies and their ideas. Haky Sak is played daily by most everyone and it is the location of the Haky Sak World Cup. Last year was the first year in almost 50 years that the Monkeys of the Free Land of Crazy Friggin' Monkeys have not won. This is where most of the colleges of the nation are. It is also a hotbed for political ideas that are usually adopted by the government. The governing capital is located in this section of the island.
Climate
- Usually sunny and 69 degrees but it depends on whether the hippies protest against the weather, so it changes every year depending on what the hippies want.
Very Cold Land
Snow Covered Coast
- Located on the West coast of the island, it is the most diverse places on the island. Snow and ice covers the whole beach right up to the water. The water, as a result of the ice, is a brilliant light blue color. Romantics who love the cold travel from every where to see the coastline and walk on the beaches. The waters are to cold to swim in because of the ice, but its fun to look at. The Gulf of Casey Jones is located just south of the strip of beaches.
Climate
- What do you think, there's ICE next to WATER. It's Friggin COLD ALL YEAR ROUND!!
Casey Jones Gulf
- Casey Jones Gulf is where the founder, Casey Jones, landed when sailing the globe. He originally wanted to keep it a secret but when he saw its beauty he had to show people, and so the Free Land of Crazy Friggin' Monkeys was born. It is named that because the first thing he say was a bright red monkey.
Climate
- Actually it's quite pleasant all year round, usually on the cold side at about 63 degrees.
Runner's Island
- Located in the South East portion of the Island, this land is inhabited by runners and is very hilly and flat at the same time. Runners flock to train in its high altitude environment and others just to run on its beaches. There is hardly anything that is paved and colleges send their top athletes to compete and train here. Many great runners like Jim Krinkle have gotten their start here. Interesting Fact, there are more tracks per square mile than any other country.
Climate
- Perfect running conditions all year round. The many trees of the island shade the runners from the harsh sun in the summer.
The Two Peaks
Madd Mountain
- Elevation: 4189 feet.
- History: named because of its dangerous terrain and cool looking glacier pools. First climb was in 1945 by a man named Jack Wilson at the age of 27. When asked about it later he said that it was his haredest climb. Jack lost his left hand to frost bite and was very tired and cold afterward. Jack wilson died in 1987.
- Climate: Cold and very windy, frequented by very harsh blizards.
- Terrain: Snowy with many holes in the ice and very radical. Lots of cliffs and crevasses
Mount Snowy
- Elevation: 5338 feet.
- History: Also climbed by Jack Wilson. Took place in 1959, he and three friends started off in good weather. They hit many blizards and lost his friends to the extreme cold. Later he said that that was his hardest climb. The climb left him depressed and he wandered from bar to bar until his death in 1987.
- Climate: Extreme
- Terrain: Snowy and very steep. Lots of vertical faces.
National Holidays
- National Hit a Juke Box Day: February 23, in honor of the Fonz, every restaurant that has a juke box must allow the customers to attempt to change the song by hitting the machine.
- Pre Remembrance Day: May 30, a torch is run around the country. It is considered a great honor to carry the torch. The torch finishes at the top of The Madd Mountain where a gigantic fire pit is lit and burns for 13 days.
- Haky Sak World Cup: June 9-June22, shops and hotels open up to house the athletes and all other jobs are shut down.
- Naked Day: July 13, everyone has the option to party naked and do anything naked
- Hate the Man Day: Every start of the school year kids are encouraged to fight the man and not attend school
- Reagan Smash Day: November 9, mini-Berlin Walls are set up around town and the citizens are forced to smash them with their hands and then smash the USSR's economy.
- Blow Shit Up Day: Everyone is required to blow something up either with their mind or high explosive weaponry. First pirson to do it with their mind wins a monkey.
- Ultimate Liar's Fuji Tour: October 1-October31, the game is played in the streets and professionals from SKankin Penguins compete for the intercontinental bacon title.
History
Long ago a man named Casey Jones left the opression of caviar eaters and set off to find a new land. He sailed and when he was out of food and hope he crashed on some rocks in what is now called Caesy Jones Gulf. The native Apache Indians saved him and nursed him back to health. He told them stories of his hardships and they told him stories of their past. They developed a bond and they created a great nation of nomads.
After many years of peace the Man came and enslaved them. Casey Jones and his side kick Apache Indian Boy didn't take kindly to this outrage. They led a revolt that lasted twenty years. In the end they were successful and the Man went home.
The land was desecrated and the people were scattered. Five different leaders created individual lands and stablized them. They were soon united against the Man and his evil ways of Capitalism. The old people of the land told stories of the man and rose a generation of liberal and free people in what is now The Free Land of Crazy Friggin Monkeys. Unfortunately Caey Jones and Appache Indian Boy died for their country and never saw the utopia that it has become. But their statues stand in Haight-Ashbury Town.
Oh yeah, we decided by a 2/3 vote that UC Berkley, UC Santa Cruz, and Humboldt should be over here so we just took them... nobody really noticed...? except for john
