Derek Logan

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Derek Logan
bam_margera_01.jpg
Nation
Omigodtheykilledkenny
Title
Ambassador to Brutland and Norden
Age
28
Once said:
"Aw, fuck! My nuts!"

Derek Logan is a Kennyite daredevil, and the host of MTV reality show "Double Dog Derek," who was recently appointed "ambassador" to Brutland and Norden so he and his "DDD crew" could start inflicting damage on cars, streets, buildings and unsuspecting passers-by in someone else's nation.

Logan has been performing insanely stupid stunts since he was a teenager, when he and his dimwitted friends would often enter into bets with each other, most of which could have seriously impeded his future ability to reproduce. One night in 2000, the 21-year-old sent MTV a home movie of himself standing in front of a tennis-ball launcher to see how many times he could hit one on his crotch. The network, finding any excuse it could not to run actual music videos, decided to air the "Ballbuster" tape, again and again and again, and sign on its originator for a series based on the dangerous dares he'd been making with friends for years.

Kennyite corporate sponsors would later become concerned over the cost of insuring his show, and quickly signed him up to be dispatched as ambassador so foreign authorities could deal with him instead. And -- wouldn't you know it? -- they found a willing partner in Brutland and Norden. The kingdom sent as return envoy teenage diplomat Kyle di Fontana, whose job it had been previously to argue with all the other adolescent naifs in the General Assembly, filling in for the Nord-Brutlandese ambassador when she went on maternity leave.

Logan's embassy is located at 965 Viale Pacifico Sorda in the international district of Kingsville, the Nord-Brutlandese capital. It entails a rather large building, some of which, Logan's superiors assume, is still standing today.

Additional Material

Logan's commission as ambassador

Omigodtheykilledkenny Diplomatic Personnel
Alex Tehrani | Jack Riley | Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang | Antoin Venn | Lenny Beteta | Sammy Faisano | Tad Braxton | Derek Logan | Angela Heimann-Weisenstrauss | Mark Reyes | Abe DeGuzman | Fritz Conway | George Brown | Jim Grady | Jessie McArthur