From Sabrateur With Love

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Werewolf: From Sabrateur With Love is a variation on the Werewolf/ Mafia game, based on James Bond. It began on 15th March, 2007, hosted by Sabrateur.

Players

Plot

Day 1

WEREWOLF: FROM SABRATEUR WITH LOVE

‘Ohh aye, Famke Jansenn!’, Dhatsun cried as Domas-Porada nodded and cheered in agreement. Various members of The Spectrum had gathered to watch GoldenEye, have a few beers and perhaps a bit of cramming chez Sabrateur. Sherylannia motioned to open the box of Celebrations he had brought, which Oldham Road strongly opposed. However, gripping as the film was, one by one, everyone began to drop off, leaving only Sabrateur awake.

‘Aww, sodder.’

He fell asleep. Horror, as a bottle of tequila lay unopened, and limes un-squeezed, and no sprinklings of salt all over the floor.

There was a flash of light, and a crack, almost as though a bullet had been fired.

All 12 people present awoke with a start, to find themselves not in Sabrateur’s sparsely inhabited front room, but in a lavish hotel room.

‘What’s going on?!’ Don Flanioso interjected, to retorts of ‘shut up’ from various others present.

‘Oh, I feel so shaken!’, Red Rose Movement interrupted..

‘Exsshactly, not stirred’, a strangely familiar voice said. None other than Sean Connery entered the room, in a fancy white tuxedo, carrying a martini. ‘Welcome to The Ritz.’

‘Wahhey, are The Rakes on soon?’, Petersvillia inquired.

‘Who…? This is The Ritz, Paris!’, Connery continued, ‘And some of you have something to hide. I’d help you, but I have much too many women to see to to bother with things like saving the world’.

‘Well, duh..’, Nintenduu lamented.

‘Look, I must dash. Some of you present want to take over the world as your alter-ego, and some of you want to prevent this. Every day, you should congregate in here and vote for who to execute..’

‘Wasn’t that a Pokemon?’, White-Rose asked.

‘The Rakes?! Pokemon?! What are you people on? Here, you (pointing at a bedazzled Sabrateur), take my PPK and carry out the group’s wishes. Make sure you all make the right choice! Oh, and by the way, you are locked in, for some reason. And NO-ONE order room service!’

And with that, he vanished.

‘Bloody Scots. Dunno why anyone would want to go up there…’, Calumnius muttered.

The group looked unabashed, as a sense of deja vu crept over them..

Eyeing up the bar, Dhatsun added ‘Anyone fancy a pint?’

NIGHT BEGINS. VOTING ENDS AT 7PM, FRIDAY NIGHT.

SUMMARY: GAME BEGINS, SABRATEUR IDENTIFIED AS MODERATOR. CALUMNIUS GETS RACIST.

Night 1

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

Whilst passing through the bar, Sabrateur noticed a vacancy for bar staff. He imagined a glamourous life mixing cocktails for Sean Connery and his various women, and swiftly applied. The manager reluctantly gave him the job, and supplied him with a blue sequined jacket to wear.

NIGHT ENDS.

SUMMARY: Sabrateur got a job and a new jacket. So yeah, nothing happened.

DAY BEGINS.

Day 2

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

The group gathered for the first time in the bar, and Sabrateur's eye glinted from behind the bar as he imagined how much he'd take from them.

An awkward silence ensued as the group stared a Sabrateur..'Perhaps they like my jacket', he thought..

The silence and staring went on...Sabrateur became a little self-concious..

'Oh aye, the killing thing. Sorry.'

He stepped out from behind the bar and joined the throe. 'So, who am I shooting', he said, brandishing the Walther.

Another awkward silence ensued. 'Come on, who?'

The group nervously looked around, before Oldham Road professed to there being no decision.

'Suits me down to the ground!', Sabrateur exclaimed, returning to the other side of the bar. 'Who's up for tequila?'

DAY ENDS.

SUMMARY: THE GROUP REACH NO DECISION FOR EXECUTION.

NIGHT BEGINS.

Night 2

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

As Oldham Road and Sherylannia were coming out of their rooms on their way for a quiet pint, they heard feminine erotic moanings coming from Nintenduu 64's room.

'I'd say get in my son', remarked OR, 'but...no.'

After a while, everyone was in the bar, with the exception of Nintenduu. Petersvillia and Don Flanioso decided to go and see if he was in his room. They knocked once. Twice. Three times a lady. Eventually, DF booted the door in, to find the room empty. The bedclothes were a mess, and the window was wide open.

'Something's amiss here', Petersvillia concluded.

'No sh*t', White-Rose remarked as he arrived with all the others, and then turned up at Nintenduu's room. Red Rose Movement for some reason decided to open the wardrobe, and out fell the corpse of Nintenduu himself, half naked, rigid and white. Dead. His likeness suddenly changed to that of an ageing man.

'Well, I can't say I'm surprised someone's dead', Calumnius deadpanned.

Sabrateur ran in, out of breath.

'What's all this?', he panted.

'And-I mean-Nintenduu's dead'.

Sabrateur examined the body.

'Looks like he was Q, Head of Research at MI6. He could use his gadgets to protect people at night, and distract people from voting. He was innocent.'

The group looked a little nervous.

'Seeing as you're a master of cocktails, I think I'll have a wheelbarrow please, Sabrateur', Dhatsun said as they made their way back downstairs.

'What's a wheelbarrow?', Sabrateur replied.

'A thing with one wheel you use to carry stuff in, mate'.

SUMMARY: NINTENDUU 64, AN INNOCENT, WAS KILLED.

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

All was quiet at The Ritz. Sabrateur was just retiring to his room after a -ahem- hard night's work. Just as he pulled the covers over him, there was a loud BANG!

He threw himself out of bed and out onto the corridor. Everyone else was outside their rooms, inspecting the scene. Sherylannia's room door was lying, charred, in the hallway, with flames billowing out. Cue untimely sprinklers, and the alarm being raised. The group, still reeling in shock, nonetheless made their way to the front door to evacuate. Calumnius flung the door open, only to see a brick wall.

'I guess Connery wasn't joking...'

Luckily, the flames had somehow died down, and the group went back up to see what had gone on. Sabrateur stepped into the blow-out room Sherylannia had been in. He was lying, covered in blood and horrific burns. With a crack, his likeness changed to that of an attractive young woman.

'Looks like Sherylannia was Miss Moneypenny', Sabrateur stated. 'He could flirt with people and distract them from voting. He was innocent.'

The group was aghast. Firstly, Nintenduu had been what appeared to have been laid, and now a room had been blown up and the flames mysteriously quashed.

'Anybody fancy a pint?', Sabrateur offered as the group began to retire, which was met by a resounding 'NO!' from everyone. Bar Dhatsun, of course, and the two set off for a night cap.

'So you heard about Tony, didn't you?', Sabrateur asked, making haste and getting a little ahead.

'Who?', Dhatsun replied.

'Y'know, Tony! Girly hair, works down the pub with Les! Dhatsun?'

He spun on his heels only to see Dhatsun lying there in a pool of blood, two bullets in the back of the head. With a 'crack', the body changed to that of an athletic, sexy woman.

'Not again', Sabrateur mused. Dhatsun was Xenia Onatopp, a Janus associate. She could seduce someone, and then suffocate them with her thighs of steel. She was evil.

'There goes the pint, then', he mused, returning to his quarters.

SUMMARY: Sherylannia - Miss Moneypenny - an innocent, was killed. Dhatsun - Xenia Onatopp - of the evil team, was killed.

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

Night ends.

SUMMARY: DHhatsun, of the evil team, was killed.

Nintenduu 64 and Sherylannia, of the innocent team, were killed.

DAY BEGINS.

Day 3

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

Sabrateur had managed to coax Domas-Porada and Butt Boo out for a pint in the bar - he was working on commision, after all. They were walking through the lobby area when there were to loud gunshots, and Sabrateur's companions fell to the floor, dead. The came another, from what sounded like the top floor, and the body of Red Rose Movement came flying down from the top mezzanine and hit the marble floor with a sickenening THUD.

'Whyy do people always die when they're with me?!', Sabrateur cried out. 'Hmph, must be the drink.'

He looked down, and the three bodies changed shape. Domas-Porada became the body of a middle-aged man. He was Jack Wade, and innocent. He worked for the CIA and could call in the marines when the Evil team was on the ropes.

But Boo turned into an older woman. He was 'M', Head of MI6. He could use intelligence to find out information about anyone he liked.

Red Rose Movement changed into a portly man clutching a 12 calibre rifle. She was Valentin Zukovsky, an ex-KGB agent who had been influenced into joining the Evil team.

As Sabrateur looked into the wounds, it seemed that But Boo had been shot by Red Rose, and somebody had defended him and therefore killed Red Rose. However, Domas-Porada's bullet had come from another type of gun, so who killed him remained a mystery.

SUMMARY: Domas-Porada and Buttery Boonswoggles (the Seer), of the innocent team, were killed.

Red Rose Movement, of the Evil Team, was killed.

Sabrateur loses the will to live after witnessing several murders.

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

The group gathered in the bar area once again for the 'execution'. Sabrateur was ready this time, he was sat there polishing his gun when everybody arrived. He had also cleaned the Walther.

'So, who's voting who?'

Calumnius and White-Rose were tied on two votes each.

'Sod not having an execution. We'll play RUSSIAN ROULETTE!', Sabrateur cried.

Cue a collective 'gulp'.

Calumnius won the coin toss and elected to go first. Sabrateur emptied five of the bullet chambers and handed him the gun, which he held to his head.

CLICK.

With a sigh of relief, Calumnius handed the gun to White-Rose.

BANG.

White-Rose fell to the floor, with a suspicious lack of blood. He then proceeded to get back up, unscathed.

'Hmh! Whaddya know.', Sabrateur said. 'I suppose that means you escape...'

SUMMARY: White-Rose survived execution. Sabrateur gets caught at it.

NIGHT BEGINS.

Night 3

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

NIGHT ENDS.

SUMMARY: Nothing happened, although it was reported that Calumnius had at least one past Bond girl in his room.

DAY BEGINS. VOTING CLOSES AT 5PM.

Day 4

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

The group assembled in the bar, awaiting the execution. However, there was a notable absentee. Sabrateur was nowhere to be seen, not on his usual perch behind the bar or in the lounge.

Eventually, after a tedious 6-minute wait, everyone walked over to Sabrateur's room, Don Flanioso performing the obligatory kick to open the door.

'Oi! What d'you do that for?!' Sabrateur moaned from his bed. It was clear that he was ill; tissues everywhere, hot drink sachets littering the floor, and him generally looking like he'd been dragged through a rather spiky bush backwards.

'Daww, the execution', he muttered. 'Look, I'm sh@*ged, fellas, I really can't get up. One of you will have to do it.'

Oldham Road took the Walther.

'Right, buggar off now, the blueys are on soon', Sabrateur hastened. 'And don't balls it up!'

Gathered once again in the bar, and helping themselves to the beer, the votes were counted.

White-Rose: 3 Petersvillia: 1 Oldham Road: 1

'Riight!', OR shouted. 'White-Rose, looks like you're number's up!'

Suddenly, WR made a dash for the door.

'Whoaahh.., someone should, like, get him..', Petersvillia said.

Oldham Road took off after the rogue. Up the marble staircase, up and up through the hotel, past the doorless room containing Sabrateur.

OR burst out onto the roof. It was growing dark, but he saw a shape move between pillars.

'Come out White-Rose, time's time, hard cheese'.

Slowly, WR emerged as Oldham Road held the gun up.

'You wouldn't do that do me, would you?', White-Rose offered.

A flicker of guilt crossed OR's mind.

In that moment, WR made a lunge at him, knocking the PPK straight out of his hand. They began wrestling each other, getting precariously closer to the edge of the roof..

Punches were thrown, and the two became brusied and battered, bashing into the giant R-I-T-Z as they went, until..

BANG.

Oldham Road struck with a huge right hook, sending White-Rose careering towards the ledge, and he slipped over, only for OR to grab his arm, leaving him dangling over the side, faced with a huge drop beneath him.

Again, the guilt flashed across OR's mind.

'For England?', White-Rose offered.

'No. For the good guys', Oldham Road replied.

'Wait, I'm in The Good Guys!', WR answered in confusion.

'Oh..yeah', OR admitted. 'For the good...people...then' he deadpanned, letting go of White-Rose's wrist, sending him plummeting to his death, landing on a lower balcony with a THUD.

And, with a wrenching CREEEAK, the huge T shuddered and fell, landing squarely on top of White-Rose's writhing body.

Oldham Road made his way back down, he heard shouting, coming from none other than Sabrateur's room.

'What the bloody h*ll?!', the group heard as they approached.

WR's body had landed on Sabrateur's balcony, accompanied by the big 'T'.

'I trust you with ONE execution, and look what happens! You bunch of sodders. Buried under a big 'T'!'.

The group went to examine the body. With the familiar CRACK, he changed to the body of an attractive, athletic man.

'Looks like White-Rose was Alec Trevelyan, a double agent and Head of Janus. He had protection powers, and a gun and other devices to perform kills. He was Evil.'

'So who the bloody hell is Caroline?!', Calumius thought aloud.

'Well...', Petersvillia began.

'I don't want to know!', Sabrateur interrupted. Now clear off, I've got some crammin to see to!'

SUMMARY: White-Rose, of the Evil team, was killed.

Sabrateur recovers from 'illness'.

NIGHT BEGINS.

Night 4

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

NIGHT ENDS.

SUMMARY: Nothing happened, although it was reported that Petersvillia attempted to drink from the bar drip trays.

DAY BEGINS.

VOTING ENDS 7PM SUNDAY.