Iffne Hevan

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This article refers to the Gruenberger lawyer and UN official Iffne Hevan. Many other people in his family share his name, but are only unexceptionally boring, and hence do not merit articles.
Iffne Hevan
Iffne Hevan
Nationality Gruenberger
Current position Personal Assistant to the Ambassador to the UN
Former occupation Intellectual property rights lawyer
Iffne Iffne Hevan (born June 30th, 1962) is a Gruenberger lawyer, currently serving as Personal Assistant to Princess Jianna Woltzten, Gruenberg's Ambassador to the United Nations, although he was originally intended to serve as an advisor on intellectual property rights. He has been described as the most boring man in the universe, but has dismissed this, saying, "No no, being the most boring man would be quite interesting, really. I would only be the third or fourth most boring, I should think. But then, that would depend on one's definition of 'boring', a somewhat relativistic...hey, where are you going?"

Early life

Hevan was born in Flurthwel, the only child of Iffne and Iffna Hevan, respectively an accountant and a legal secretary. At the age of 15 he reached the national finals of Gruenberg's National Chess Championship, and has won the tournament on several subsequent occasions. He was expelled from school for being too boring, but reinstated on writing an exceptionally boring letter of apology. He attended the Central University of Flurthwel, where he took a degree in law, and then took his training at his mother's firm. He is married to Doris Hevan, and has two children, both called Iffne. His transfer to the Gruenberger Office of UN Affairs was the first time he had been outside Flurthwel.

Personal views

Hevan has been a lifelong member of the Monarchist Party, and has generally been held to be an orthodox conservative. He supports capitalism, free trade and tort reform, but also environmental and anti-trust regulation, and a basic welfare system. On social issues, he has maintained a consistently authoritarian stance, opposing abortion, euthanasia and gay marriage, but also supporting gun control, drug prohibition and road safety initiatives, and is active in the campaign to instate mandatory seat belt laws in Gruenberg. He is a fan of crosswords, logic puzzles, photography, and hardcore S