Impressions from Latao

The following words are impressions from an anonymous traveler who has visited Latao last summer. Have fun…

I came to this land in the south of Atlantian Oceania this summer. Latao really is an amazing country, where everyone can see something he likes. It was somehow difficult to get a visa, since Latao does not operate embassies in all countries of the region – due to financial reasons, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said.

Intensive Border Checks

We’ve had some kind of a delay because of the intensive control of people and goods the Latins perform at airports. Latao engaged a half army to rigidly enforce its entry laws and rules, which sometimes is a bit scary. I’ve seen several people – probably with invalid or faked passport documents that were arrested by border troops with automatic Uzi-guns.

They have too much Money

Once we passed these checks, a really luxury designed airport was the first we saw of this nation. A huge jumbo-sized flat screen welcomes passengers with amazing multimedia shows; patriotic marketing mixed with half-naked women that promote Latao’s pristine beaches and other places of interests. I knew that Latao is a rich country, but this airport really impressed me. Latao spends a lot of money to cherish its image of a clean, well-styled and modern nation, especially at places with many international people. All halls look really great with this bright style of gray marble floors and glass and chrome constructions. A troop of cleaning personnel in snow-white uniforms works around the clock to keep everything clean and shiny – maybe this describes the relatively high airport taxes…

Patriotism & Commerce

Sex sells…this statement also applies for Latao. The Latins like people with less cloths, both sexes do, but this might be based in the nice warm weather they have in the south of Atlantian Oceania ;-) No one seems to mind topless females in commercials and beaches, the mixture of sex and patriotism actually seems to be the number one hit for selling all kinds of products. Buildings and motorways are clogged with commercial ads – some of them even animated on flat screens. Amazing, that this doesn’t lead to rear-end collisions on the roads all the time ;-) Latao doesn’t have legal regulations that define opening times for business. Shops, restaurants and party clubs are either opened around the clock, or as long they have people in.

Great Party-Life

Since ten of the twelve months the year Latao has finest summer temperatures of 25° C and more, the open-sky party scene is the essential realm for young people from all over the world, natives and tourists. Great beach parties are held with all kind of music, especially trance-techno is widely spread in the country. Even small villages hold cool parties.

People & Traditions

I’ve never seen a country that holds the tenet of free speech as dear as Latao. Free speech stands above everything – people make statements for which you’d get sued and end up in jail in many other countries, this sometimes leads to an aggressive style in political debating. Latao is one of the less countries I know, where it’s nothing unusual that members of the parliament make daily use of swear words to additionally express their thoughts. As mentioned above, patriotism and therefore the right of personal arming are the next tenets the Latins hold sacrosanct. Confederacy Flags decorate many buildings and the number of firearms in private households is one of the highest in the world; criminality is although quite low. I couldn’t research of more than three murdering cases in the past 10 years.

Media Scene

Regarding the tenet of free speech, Latao is known for its rich offer of medias, which find great attention in the entire region of Atlantian Oceania. The nationalist government however demands, that medias broadcasted from Latao must use native language of the country, but primary foreign languages are allowed as long as translations are provided. The government says this is required to prevent medias from broadcasting illegal content such as Islamic calls for terrorism. The only thing the government has banned in medias is the promotion of religious content, commercial advertisements for alcohol is limited and tobacco is banned. Political contents from parties and other groups of interest and sexual content don’t seem to be regulated.

Crowded Cities, hurried Drivers

Cities are usually crowded with cars, the driving style of Latins is southern – I’m not saying aggressive. Speed limits are understood as ‘recommendations’; government nor police do much to change that. Driver’s won’t get speed tickets for exceeding of less than 30 km/h – the license is taken away for a month for excessive speeding and road rage in cities and living areas only. Most motorways have six lines (three per direction) including a still line – the most important highways have eight lines. A ticket in the form of a sticker for your car’s windshield is needed to use highways. The stickers costs 30 Latinums (about 60 USD) and allows driving for one year.

After all, I’ve had a great time in Latao and I enjoyed my stay there. The only thing that ‘sucked’ are the damn expensive prices they have there. I do however agree when saying, Latao is the ultimate free land, without being anarchy ;-)