This article is part of the Random Kingdom factbook. Disclaimer: This page isn't meant to offend anyone of any religion.
- 1 The Faith
- 2 The Worship
- 3 The Hierarchy
- 4 Branches of Invertianity
Invertianists are monotheistic, or believe in one diety. That is where the similarities to Christians end. They believe that God created the world for his personal enjoyment, and the meaning of life is to be the next act. Faults in the world are explained though God's apparent hunger for entertainment, and Satan is just a lie put out by the rest to explain these. Most of the believers are, strangely enough, manic depressives and pessimists. Most of the beliefs of Invertianists are backed up or gathered from theories and conspiracies laid down by others.
Invertianists placed together a book called the Pestilence Index. It isn't sacred or holy in any way, but lists the stories of God's apparent mistakes and tragedies that happened by hand of God. In another section, disasters created by free will are given a mention, annotated with conspiracy theories and possibilities. In another section, a list of successful peoples and their supposed connections with God is given. At the top is Bill Gates of the Microsoft Corporation clearly underlined and stated as one of God's "chosen ones".
Invertianists spend time with their religion at places called Houses of Futility. These are usually built underground and made out of reinforced, flame retardant materials to apparently prevent God from destroying them, and contain chambers of rest, libraries of conspiracies and shrines of remembrance of those who died by God. Instead of places of worship, houses of futility are instead sort-of colleges, teaching those who come in the theories and ideas of those who support the cause, and where people create theories of their own. There is a massive complex built in Confusion City with several houses, as well as museums and memorials, which is located due east.
Attendance at the houses is not compulsory, but there are several services performed throughout the working day. At 08:00 GMT the Service of God's Purpose of Destruction is performed, which is a reading of the Pestilence Index, and remembrance of historical disasters to show how sadistic they believe God is, at 15:00 GMT the Theories of Meaning are laid out, which are ideas that apparently explain our place in the world of God, and at 21:00 Invertianists can go to the Service of Recurrance, which is assurance that tomorrow they'll still be there.
Invertianists can take several "courses" at the houses of futility that take them through the theories and conspiracies that make up the religion. These last a few months up to a year and cover a variety of topics. For example, a basic course on the "Meaning of Being" would take about a month and cover how disasters are supposedly entertainment for God, and how he apparently tweaks free will to cause more of them. A whole course on the entire religion would take a year and cover everything.
These are the basic members of the religion, who infrequently attend services and sometimes take courses. There are usually about 6 students to a theorist.
These are members of the house who spend some of their time in the houses taking ideas from the students, evaluate them, and pass them to the compilers to be noted for future courses. There are usually about 3 theorists to a compiler.
These are part-time members of the house who instruct the more basic courses. These are about as important as the instructors in the hierarchy, and have usually studied Invertianity a long time. There are about 6 instructors in a large church.
These are mostly full-time members who take the theories from the people at the bottom of the hierarchy and compile them into books and indexes. They also manage the various courses, and instruct the more advanced ones. There can be as many as 4 compilers in a church.
These are officials of the church elected by the compilers who represent their house in the governing body. These also pass on theories if they are good enough to be heard by the other protectors in the kingdom. These are mostly separate from their houses workwise, and attend conferences every fortnight or so.
The Supreme Protector
This is the overall ruler of the faith in Random Kingdom and is elected by the protectors every month. He/she listens to the ideas of the protectors and co-ordinates ideas and theories. He/she also declares crusades, and is a highly symbolic figure in the faith.
Branches of Invertianity
This is the one described above. High officials are elected by the body below them, and the Supreme Protector can organise crusades or lesser jihad. This is the most common branch in Random Kingdom.
This is like the main branch, but the higher officials are elected by everyone related to the church. Courses offered swing students to the left, and politics often cloud the theories.
No holy wars can be waged by the officials in this branch, and although anti-God theories can exist, God to the pacifists is simply a problem that can be ignored without action. If members are discriminated, they believe that the discriminator is an agent of God and can be brushed aside harmlessly. Needless to say,
The courses offered by this church are strongly offensive to God and swing students into positions that bear a risk of psychologically tearing them apart. Members of this church will go out of their way to prove their point.
This is the right-wing version of the left-wing faith. Officials are given their titles by punching the heck out of anybody else, literally or metaphorically, and students are treat like slaves. In this branch, attending the houses of futility is compulsory, and students are kept awake something silly to work for the church.