Jack Riley

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Jack Riley
Nation Omigodtheykilledkenny
Title Assistant Secretary of State for UN Member Affairs
Birthdate February 12, 1968
Place of birth San Andreas, Xt'Kalifia
Previous occupations
Political affiliation God-Fearing, Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot Party; hardline anti-UN sovereigntist
Languages English
Education B.A., communications, Paradise City University
Author of

Jack Riley is a Kennyite diplomat, formerly ambassador to the United Nations (2005-06) and ambassador to The Eternal Kawaii (2006-07), currently serving as assistant secretary of state for UN Member Affairs.

An undiplomatic smart-aleck with unrelenting contempt for the UN, Riley was dismissed from his post as ambassador to the international organization after catnapping an Ardchoillean diplomat in July 2006 [1], and was immediately dispatched to HOCEK, a sometime OMGTKK enemy. [2] Following his promotion to assistant secretary in March 2007, Riley's main duties at State have been formulating administration responses to affairs involving UN member states from outside the Antarctic Oasis region. For months, though, was still hiding out in OMGTKK's embassy in Sanrio City, ducking CPESL bill-collectors. He was later found on a ship of Kawaiian refugees that mistakenly made port in Paradise City. [3]

Prior to his foray into diplomacy, Riley was a TV sports commentator, during which time he befriended future President Manuelo Fernanda, then a pro-boxer and a contestant on Sylvester Stallone's reality show "The Contender." A graduate of Paradise City University with a degree in communications, Riley also served as a bombastic right-wing commentator for Fox News. He was an odd choice for UN ambassador: Prior to his 2005 nomination, he had suggested, only half-kiddingly, that the UN Headquarters be demolished and that the international body move to "more cost-effective digs in the basement of a Paradise City crackhouse. We wouldn't even charge rent." The nod enraged Omigodtheykilledkenny liberals who accused the administration of "trying to sabotage the UN." The Senate minority filibustered his nomination, forcing the president to grant him a recess appointment.

UN Ambassador

In his capacity as the Federal Republic's chief diplomat at the UN, Riley firmly established himself and his nation among the staunchest supporters of national sovereignty, and authored two defeated repeals of UN environmental legislation and a successful repeal the obsolete Gay Rights resolution. In addition, he opposed just about every other resolution that made its way to the General Assembly floor, sparred with the Ecopoeian deputy ambassador over human-rights legislation, was accused of conspiring to deceive the public into supporting a repeal of the Protection of Dolphins Act, and became the frequent target of the dolphin mafia. [4] On the heels of the Federal Republic's withdrawal from the United Nations, Riley became notorious for delivering insane, paranoid rants during floor debates, some of which were partly relevant to the topic at hand. [5]

His replacement at the United Nations is Sammy Faisano.

After the UN

Riley's tenure in HOCEK was largely uneventful until a dramatic incident near the end of 2006, when an ancient behemoth known to locals as "Gojira" laid waste to the Kawaiian capital and outlying areas [6]. In recognition of his ability to handle stressful situations (mostly by cowering in the embassy basement and crying like a little bitch), the ambassador was elevated to his current State Department position, where he may no longer have any role over Federal Republic UN policy but remains an important foreign-affairs official. He was seen to have "redeemed himself" in the proactive role he played helping to negotiate a political solution to recent turmoil in West Ariddia. [7]

fernandasmall3.jpg Officials of the Fernanda Administration
Manuelo Fernanda | Antigone Morgan | Alex Tehrani | Jack Riley | Jimmy Baca | Charlie Valentine | Karen Greene | Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang
Omigodtheykilledkenny and the United Nations
Administration and Policies: Department of State | Mission to the United Nations | Voting Record | Creative Solutions Agency | Kennypoll
Mission Staff: Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang | Sammy Faisano | Alex Tehrani | Jessie McArthur | George Brown | Jack Riley | Surly the Repealinator
Sponsored Legislation: Repeal "Protection of Dolphins Act" | Repeal "Fossil Fuel Reduction Act" | Repeal "Gay Rights" | Abortion Legality Convention | Unconventional Arms Accord | Prohibition of UN Military | Repeal "Mutual Recognition of Borders" | Accessible Family Planning | Repeal "SPCC Regulation Act" | Repeal "Max Barry Day"