Juan Tzimisces
Juan Tzimisces was the legendary midfield general and captain of the Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus in the first four editions of the Nationstates World Cup, and the only Chaco-born citizen of the Empire ever to captain the national side.
From his first national team appearance as a 20 year old in the inaugural world cup in Ariddia, through to his final appearance in his mid-thirties, Tzimisces' flair and skill would alternately baffle and delight his opponents. Unfortunately, his sheer unpredictability would also frequently baffle his own supporters.
Perhaps the best-known example of the Tzimisces temper was 'the great sulk' in the Imperial Cup Final of 967 A.F., between Alasdairopolis City (the national 'glamour club') and Philadelphia (the Chaco's only premiership team). In that infamous game, he scored a first half hat-trick for City of extraordinary verve and skill in the space of only five minutes, only to decide, ten minutes into the second half, that the referee was unfairly penalising his fellow native Chacans on the opposing squad. Tzimisces promptly tried to concede a penalty against his own team, punched the referee when he refused to award the penalty, and then stormed off the field vowing never to play top flight football again.
He was 18 years old at the time. That he reneged on his vow was typical Tzimisces. That it took an official Imperial pardon for his lifetime ban to be overturned (likewise with his subsequent four lifetime bans) doubly so.
In truth, The Holy Empire were always World Cup underachievers - even when hosting World Cup 2 - something for which Tzimisces must take considerable blame. While no one disputes that he gave his all to the Imperial team's cause, many of his teammates were said to have feared his fiery temper as much as they feared the opposition, and some of the more frustrating losses the team suffered over the years can probably be put down to the squad's internal problems. As a result, Alasdair I Frosticus failed to reach the tournament's top three in their four campaigns, and only made it out of the first round twice.
But for all his faults, those who saw Tzimisces play in his prime will never forget the sight of the Holy Empire's greatest - and most infamous - player surging through the centre of midfield, before launching one of his trademark unstoppable thunderbolts towards the cowering opposing keeper.
To the amazement of both the outside world (which perhaps didn't realise that time passes differently in the Dreamed Realm) and the Holy Empire, Tzimisces came out of retirement to serve as technical adviser to the Archregimancy squad in qualification for World Cup 24 and in the subsequent Cup of Harmony. As if that wasn't enough, Tzimisces agreed to coach the Imperial team - including his son Juan Tzimisces Jr. - in its comeback appearance in World Cup 25, though preparations were marred not by both an outbreak of plague that wiped out every member of the team except his son and rumours that he'd subsequently bet 2000 nomismata on the team finishing bottom of the group. That he nonetheless coached the team to a respectable 7th place despite his bet, winning six of the first nine, once again demonstrated what a contradictory character Tzimisces continues to be.
The plague caused the Basileus of the Holy Empire to re-evaluate his nation's re-entry into international sport. The nation was represented in Cup of Harmony 17 by a squad of dream simulacra in lieu of real people. It is a testament to the regard in which Tzimisces is held that all 10 outfield positions were filled with simulacra of the footballing legend.
