Difference between revisions of "Justice and Law in Roach-Busters"

Latest revision as of 10:23, 29 July 2007

RB is famous - perhaps infamous would be a better word - for its extraordinarily harsh, brutal, and repressive methods of punishment. It has earned the ire of many countries and all human rights organizations for the excessively violent manner in which prisoners are tortured and killed. RB, however, nonchalantly deflects such criticism. Due to both an all-pervasive police force and harsh methods of suppressing crime, law and order prevail and crime is an extreme rarity, making RB one of the safest nations in the world.

Execution Methods (in order of "most extreme" to "least extreme")

• 1. Scaphism
• 2. Hanging, drawing, and quartering
• 3. Roasting in a brazen bull
• 4. Boiling/burning
• 5. Impalement
• 6. Disembowelment
• 7. Crushing
• 8. Hanging
• 9. Decapitation
• 10. Firing squad

Torture Methods

• 1. Castration
• 2. Denailing
• 3. Foot roasting
• 4. Disfigurement
• 5. Shabach technique
• 6. Chinese Water Torture
• 7. Drowning
• 8. Beating
• 9. Tickling
• 10. Sleep deprivation

Crime & Punishment

• Treason = Scaphism or hanging, drawing, and quartering, depending on the judge's decision
• Advocating democracy = Death (method of execution chosen by court)
• First-degree murder = Boiling alive
• Second-degree murder = Firing squad
• Manslaughter = 5-25 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Hit-and-run = 20 lashes & revocation of driver's license for 10 years (elevate to manslaughter if the hit person dies)
• Tax evasion = Punishable by 12-15 years' imprisonment
• Shoplifting = Amputation of one arm (or firing squad if it is a repeat offense)
• Pickpocketing = Amputation of one hand (or firing squad if it is a repeat offense)
• Vandalism = 15 lashes & 15 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Rape = Castration without anesthesia, followed by boiling if the victim was an adult, or followed by roasting in a brazen bull if the victim was under 16
• Non-rape sexual abuse = Castration without anesthesia (if it is a repeat offense, the punishment is the same as it would be if the crime were rape); if the victim was a child, the punishment is castration without anesthesia and 20 lashes
• Theft of private property = Amputation of both arms
• Physical assault (no weapon) = 10 lashes & 10 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Assault with a deadly weapon = 30 lashes & 15 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Kidnapping = Impalement
• Slander = 3-5 years' imprisonment
• Leading a riot = Firing squad
• Participating in a riot = 25 lashes & 10-25 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Leading a strike = Punishable by 40 lashes & life enslavement by the employer
• Participating in a strike = Punishable by 20 lashes & 15-20 years' enslavement by employer
• Breaking and entering = Denailing, foot roasting, disfigurement, and Shabach technique & 5-10 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Possessing, advertising, selling, publishing, or promoting media or literature considered subversive = Disembowelment
• Fraud = Firing squad
• Non-sexual child abuse = 50 lashes
• Animal abuse = 12-15 lashes, forbidden by law from ever again owning a pet
• Bestialty = Boiling to death
• Pedophilia (without acting on desires, though) = Castration (with anesthesia) & 40 lashes
• Adultery = Burning at the stake
• Incest = Castration without anesthesia, followed by boiling
• Insulting Parthia or Shah Khosru III = Roasting in a brazen bull
• Insulting a Roach-Busterian ally = Burning at the stake
• Promoting public unrest/disorder = Crushing
• Insulting a law enforcement officer or a member of the armed forces = 20-30 lashes
• Insulting a minor, local, or state government official = 2-5 years' imprisonment
• Insulting a member of the National Assembly = 6-10 years' imprisonment
• Insulting a member of the cabinet = 11-15 years' imprisonment
• Insulting J.L. or a member of his family = No punishment necessary, as anyone stupid enough to do such a thing would be immediately killed by citizens
• Advocating Shooban or Turtan "rights" = 10-30 years' enslavement
• Singing the Internationale or any other subversive song = Amputation of tongue (without anesthesia), extraction of every tooth (without anesthesia), removal of larynx (without anesthesia), followed by disembowelment
• Wearing, selling, or promoting a Che Guevara T-shirt = Castration (no anesthesia), denailing, foot roasting, and disfigurement, followed by impalement
• Littering = Fine of $50-300
• Speeding = Revocation of drivers' license for 2 months for every mile above the speed limit (i.e., if the speed limit was 50 m.p.h. and they were driving 52 m.p.h., it would be revoked for 4 months)
• Driving through a red light = Fine of $500-1,500 or revocation of license for 1-3 years
• Offering or accepting a bribe = Hanging (if the amount is less than $5,000), disembowelment (if the amount is greater than $5,000 but under $50,000), or boiling alive (if the amount is $50,000 or greater)
• White-collar crime = Hanging
• Inciting/promoting racial tension = Disembowelment
• Inciting/promoting sexism, homophobia, or any sexually related hostility or tension = Disembowelment
• Inciting/promoting class hatred = Impalement
• Inciting/promoting religious hatred or religious extremism = Disembowelment
• Plagiarism = Hanging
• Indecent exposure = Fine of $1,000 & 5-10 lashes
• Counterfeiting money = Life enslavement
• Selling pirated goods = 15-30 years' imprisonment at hard labor
• Jaywalking = Fine of $5-10