Kegmenistani Etiquette
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Etiquette is of great importance within Kegmenistani society. What follows are some examples of traditional customs and traditions taken from excerpts of "On Etiquette".
Everyday Events
Street Etiquette
Writing on a wall, sitting on the floor, or throwing things onto the floor are glaring vulgarities.
Cursing or discussing "inappropriate" or "impolite" subjects is a social taboo.
It is impolite to spit in public.
Courtesy requires the return of all civil greetings. Only the most serious causes can justify "a cut".
In bowing, the head should be best; a mere lowering of the eyelids, affected by some people, is rude; but etiquette does not permit a familiar nod, except between business men, or very intimate friends. In passing and repassing on a public promenade or drive, bows are exchanged only at the first meeting.
In carrying umbrellas and packages, for example, care should be taken that they do not inconvenience others.
In meeting on a street crossing, gentlemen should make way for ladies, and younger persons for older ones.
Ladies and gentlemen, when meeting on the sidewalk, should always pass to the right.
No gentleman should stand on the street corners, steps of hotels, or other public places and make remarks about ladies passing by.
A true lady will go quietly and unobtrusively about her business when on the street, never seeking to attract the attention of the opposite sex, at the same time recognizing acquaintances with a courteous bow, and friends with pleasant words of greeting.
If a person crushes or crowds you, and apologizes, accept the apology with a cold bow.
Conversational Etiquette
A loud tone of voice in conversation is to be avoided, as well as loud laughter. Both are considered vulgar in the extreme.
At the same time, speaking in a whisper, particularly for the purpose of excluding others from a conversation or a confidential aside, is exceptionally rude. If there are matters which must be communicated privately, there is almost always a better time and place to do so than while in the company of more than just the two who are communicating privately.
It is considered impolite for a person to address another by first name when in public.
Personal or private matters should never be discussed on the street or in public gatherings.
Controversy and confrontation should be avoided in conversation.
Not every spoken wrong or inaccuracy requires that you address it and set it right. While doing so may make you perfectly right or appear to be perfectly knowledgeable on a subject, it also reveals you to be perfectly petty and boorish.
Always refrain from explaining any expression or word you may use unless asked to do so.
Unless a gathering is political or religious in nature, it is considered impolite to introduce the topics of religion or politics.
Avoid the use of slang terms and phrases in polite company. Those terms belong to bar-rooms and other low places. In the same vein, by all means should you avoid the vulgar habit of joking at the expense of women.
Etiquette While Visiting
Do not be in haste to seat yourself; one appears fully as well and talks better, standing for a few moments.
A man should always remain standing as long as there are any women standing in the room.
A man should never take any article from a woman's hands and remain seated, she standing.
Do not take young children when making formal calls.
Do not take pets with you.
Do not meddle with, or stare at the articles in the room.
Do not call across the length of the room if you wish to address any one. Cross the room and speak to him quietly.
Do not walk around the room, examining pictures for example, while waiting for the hostess.
Do not introduce politics, religion or other weighty topics for conversation when making calls.
Do not, if a gentleman, seat yourself upon the sofa beside the hostess, or in near proximity, unless invited to do so.
Do not scratch your head or use a comb or any other such instrument.
Use a handkerchief when necessary, but without glancing at it afterwards. Also be as quiet and unobtrusive in the action as possible.
Do not tell long stories, argue, talk scandal or rumors and do not attack the religious beliefs of anyone present.
Do not enter a room without first knocking and receiving an invitation to come in.
Appropriate Etiquette Whilst Shopping
In visiting a store for the purpose of examining the goods or making purchases, conduct yourself with courtesy and amiability.
Never look over goods without any intention of buying them.
Speak to the clerks and employees of the store with courtesy and kindness. Do not order them to show you anything. Request them to do so in a polite manner. In leaving their counter, say pleasantly "Good morning" or "Good Day".
Never take a costly piece of goods -- nor any piece -- into a better light without first asking the clerk's permission to do so.
Should you find another person examining a piece of goods, do not take hold of it. Wait until it is laid down, and then make your examination.
To attempt to "beat down" the price of an article is rude. In the best conducted stores the price of the goods is "fixed", and the salesmen are not allowed to change it. If the price does not suit you, you are not obliged to buy, but can go elsewhere.
Pushing or crowding at a counter, or the indulgence in personal remarks, handling the goods in a careless manner, or so roughly as to injure them, lounging upon the counter, or talking in a loud voice, are marks of bad breeding.
Never let the door of a shop slam in the face of any person, nor permit a stranger to hold it open without any acknowledgement of courtesy.
Never express your opinion about an article another is purchasing, unless asked to do so.
You should never ask or expect a clerk waiting upon a customer to leave that person and attend to you. Wait patiently for your turn.
It is rude to make unfavorable comparisons between the goods you are examining, and those of another store.
Etiquette for Church
It is the duty of a well-bred person to attend church regularly on Sunday.
In entering the church, you should pass quietly and deliberately to your pew or seat. Walking rapidly up the aisle is sure to disturb the congregation.
If you are a stranger, wait in the lower part of the aisle until the sexton or ushers show you a seat, or you are invited to enter some pew.
A gentleman should remove his hat as soon as he enters the doors of the church, and should not replace it on his head after service until he has reached the outer vestibule.
In accompanying a lady to church, pass up the aisle by her side and allow her to enter first; then enter and seat yourself beside her.
Should a lady desire to enter a pew in which you are seated in the first position, rise, step out into the aisle, and allow her to enter.
Once in church, observe the most respectful silence except when joining in the worship. Whispering or laughing before the service begins, or during service, is highly improper.
When the service is over, leave the sacred edifice quietly and deliberately. You may chat with your friends in the vestibule, but not in the hall of worship.
Should you see a stranger standing in the aisle, unnoticed by the sexton or usher, quietly invite him into your pew.
You should see that a stranger in your pew is provided with the books necessary to enable him to join in the service. If he does not know how to use them, assist him as quietly as possible.
When there are not enough books for the separate use of each person, you may share yours with an occupant of your pew.
In attending a church of a different denomination from your own, you should carefully observe the outward forms of worship.
To be late at church is bad manners.
Specific Events
Hosting an Afternoon Tea or Reception
The day and hour of an afternoon tea may be written on a visiting card. For an afternoon reception, an "At Home" card is used.
Only simple refreshment should be served at an afternoon tea. Thin slices of bread and butter, sandwiches, fancy biscuits or cake, tea, coffee, or chocolate, ice-cream and bouillon. Punch and lemonade may also be served, but no wine or alcoholic drinks.
The hostess should shake hands with her guests and receive them cordially; any formality is out of place on an informal occasion.
Hosting a Dinner Party
The table-cloth should be of the finest quality.
Furniture and other room decor should be arranged in such a manner that it will not interfere with the guests' view of one another. A low dish of flowers with light to no fragrance is the preferred centerpiece.
Never make an ostentatious display of wealth.
At a large dinner, a card bearing the name of the guest should be laid beside each plate.
Each place setting should include a plate, two large knives, a small knife and fork for fish, three large forks, a tablespoon for soup, a small oyster-fork for raw oysters and a water goblet.
The knives and oyster fork should be placed on the right side of the plate, the other forks on the left.
Bread should be cut in thin slices, and laid on a napkin on the left of each plate. Place glasses at the right of each plate.
Commence dinner with raw oysters, then a choice of one or two soups. Follow the soup with fish, then the meat entree and the salad last. Cheese, bread and butter may be served with the salad course. Then comes dessert and/or fruits and bonbons. Coffee can be served in the drawing room or the parlor.
No more than two vegetables should be served with each entree and potatoes should not be offered with fish.
Appropraite Etiquette for the Theatre
A gentleman desiring a lady to accompany him to the opera, theatre, or other place of amusement, must send her a written invitation not later than the day previous to the entertainment. It must be written in the third person, upon white note-paper of the finest quality, with an envelope to match.
The lady must send her replay immediately, so that should she be unable to accept, the gentleman may secure another companion.
Should the lady accept the invitation, the gentleman must secure the best seats within his means.
In entering the hall in which the entertainment is given, a gentleman should walk by the side of the lady. If the width of the aisle is not sufficient to allow this, he should precede her.
As a rule, the gentleman should take the outer seat; but if this is the best for seeing or hearing, it belongs to the lady.
To leave a lady alone during the "waits" and going out to "get a drink" or "to speak to a friend" is indicative of bad manners; the gentleman is bound to remain by her side to the end of the entertainment.
At the opera it is customary for ladies and gentleman to leave their seats, and promenade in the lobbies or foyer of the house during the intervals between the acts. The gentleman should always invite the lady to do so. Should she decline, he is bound to remain with her.
A gentleman accompanying a lady is not bound to give up his seat to another lady. His duty is to the lady he accompanies.
It is rude to whisper or talk during a performance. It is discourteous to the performers, and annoying to those of the audience around you, who desire to enjoy the entertainment.
It is in especially bad taste for lovers to indulge in any affectionate demonstrations at such places.
A gentleman must see to it that the lady accompanying him is provided with a program and a libretto if at the opera.
Applause is the just due of the deserving actor, and should be given liberally. Applaud by clapping the hands, and not by stamping or kicking with the feet.
Upon escorting the lady back to her home, the gentleman should ask permission to call upon her the next day, which request she should grant. She should, in her own sweet way, cause him to feel that he has conferred a genuine pleasure upon her by his invitation.
Breaches of Etiquette
To stare around the room.
To look at your watch when calling.
To walk around the room when waiting for the hostess.
To open or shut a door, raise or lower a window curtain, or in any other way alter the arrangement of a room when visiting.
Turn your chair so that your back faces another guest.
To play with any ornament in the room or to seem to be aware of anything but the company present while visiting.
To remain when you find the host or hostess dressed to go out.
To make remarks about another caller who has just left the room.
