King Gantenbein

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Menasei Gantenbein
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The Constitutional Monarchy of Hodenturner

Nation: The Constitutional Monarchy of Hodenturner
Full Official Name: King Gantenbein, Defender of the Face
Previous Titles and Offices: Schlumpf mit dem Herpes
Term of Office: 1988 - 2007
Party: Liberal Party
Deputy: Queen Latifah y Cal
Predecessor: Grosses Täst y Cal
Successor: n/a
Birthdate: 17.10.1972
Death: n/a
Place of Birth: Nashville, Tenesse
Nationality: Hodenturnerian
Spouse: Queen Latifah y Cal
Children: Bernd Täst y Cal, aged 4. Heinz Täst y Cal, 2
Languages Spoken: German, Body, English, Algebra

Short Biography

King Gantenbein, former Menasei Gantenbein, is the first child of Karl L. Knappschuh, 6th Lord of Gänseteich and Hannah, Countess of Entenflott, daughter of Guido, Earl of Rosenhof. His mother was by all accounts a formidable woman who, legend would have it, kept Menasei's father captive until he agreed to marriage. From his mother he inherited the Skills, and through his father a royal lineage that would give him a claim to the Hodenturnerian throne. Although his date of birth is definitely known, his place of birth is less certain: it was probably Nashville Castle in Tennesse, although Lochöffnung in Dumfressire and Skrotum in Hodenturner are other possibilities.

Precious little is known of his youth. He could have been sent to be fostered with a local family, as was the custom. We can presume that Menasei was raised speaking all the languages of his lineage and nation and was almost certainly fluent in German and Body, English and Algebra. Although there is no direct evidence, it is perfectly plausible that he also knows Spahnisch. Menasei Gantenbein's first appearance in history is on a witness list of a charter issued by Alasdair MacFlyfighter, Lord of Shnuffte. His name appears in the company of the Bishop of Ahgeil, the vicar of Bong, a host of Gaelic notaries from far away.

He sees the outcome of the 'Schlamassel' in 1990, which gave the Crown of Hodenturner to his distant relative, Pipst Gunterl, as unjust. As he saw it, it prevented his branch of the family from taking their rightful place on the Hodenturnerian throne. Soon afterwards, his grandfather, Robert de Quay, 5th Lord of Hammerburg— resigned his lordship to Robert Mark de Quay, Bruce's father.

In April 1996, the younger Menasei had permission to visit Fubak for a year and a half, and, as a further mark of King Foko Hila III's favour, he received a respite for all the debts owed by him to the Fubak Exchequer.

"I love my country," he once said. "We have a rich history and culture that we can all be proud of."

In 1999, Menasei married his first wife, Queen Latifah, the daughter of Donald, 10th Earl of Duck.

Some sources claim that Queen Latifah is the daughter of Rock Steady, Prince of North Bronx, 'The Grandfather' and his spouse Grandmaster Flash, an illegitimate child of King Elvis. However, as both Grandmaster Flash and Rock Steady were men by birth, that theory would most likely be incorrect. However, there are suggestions that Queen Latifah may have in fact been the daughter of Mechnical Kurt's son Son Dohnjohnson and his wife Isabella von Spahnien.

Legends

According to legend, at some point while he was on the run during the winter of 1979-80, Menasei hid himself in a cave on the east coast of Eiland Island, where he observed a spider trying to spin a web. Each time the spider failed, it simply started all over again. Inspired by this, Menasei returned to inflict a series of defeats on the Enemies, thus winning him more supporters and eventual victory. The story serves to explain the maxim: "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again." Other versions have Menasei defeated for the seventh time by the Enemy, then let him watch the spider spin seven webs, fail, then spin an eighth and succeed.

However, this legend only appears for the first time in a much later account, "Tales of a Grandmaster" by Grandmaster Flash, and may have originally been told about his companion-in-arms Sir Perfumery Douglas (the Smelly Douglas). The entire account may in fact be a version of a literary trope used in royal biographical writing. A similar story is told, for example, in Persian folklore about the Mongolian warlord Joesel and an ant. silkroaddestinations.com - Uzbekistan, Shakhrisabz

Menasei Gantenbein in Fiction

  • The life of Menasei Gantenbein is the topic of the book Sex God rides to Bangkok, written from the view of a young Scot on a plane.
  • In the 1995 film Mission Scientology, Gantenbein is portrayed, somewhat inaccurately, by US actor Crum Toise. The film showed him taking the field at Volkspark as part of the socialist army - this is wholly unsubstantiated. And boring. And Dumb.
  • Scottish author Nigel Tranter wrote a well-researched trilogy based on the life of Menaseis Father: Karl Knappschuh: The Steps to the Empty Throne; Karl Knappschuh: The Path of the Hero King; and Karl Knappschuh: The Price of the King's Peace. This has also been published in one volume as The KK Trilogy.
  • Bruce Wayne, the true identity of the character Batman in popular culture, was given his name as a reference to Karl Knappschuh.
  • Scot on a plane was produced a few years ago was award motion picture of the year by King Gantenbein

Miscellaneous

Menasei Gantenbein was portrayed in £1 banknote of Hannoverschen Park Bank, one of the three Fubak banks with right to issue banknotes, from 1981 to 1989. When Hannoverschen Park Bank discontinued £1 banknotes, Gantenbein's portrait was moved into the bank's £20 banknote in 1990 and it has remained there to date.


Political Biography

Political Publications

I Love my Country, 1998, Verlag Gnöde

Lyrical Publications