Kjonnigland

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Kjonnigland
kjonnigland.jpg
Flag of Kjonnigland
Motto: "En sosialistrevolusjon i den ny årtusen"
No Map Available
Region Arctic
Capital Sterkfolk (Pop. 746,830)
Official Language(s) Norwegian
Leader Rt. Hon. Jens Stoltenborg
Population 701,000,000
Currency Norwegian Kroner 
NS Sunset XML

The Folks Sosialist Republikk of Kjonnigland is a huge, socially progressive nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 701 million love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Equality, and Defence. The average income tax rate is 100%. An almost nonexistent private sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry.

Refugees from other nations are flocking to Kjonnigland's border, waste is frequently shipped to other countries, postmen have been arrested in job lots for selling junk mail as home insulation, and the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kjonnigland's national animal is the Loch Ness Monster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Norwegian Kroner -e.


History

Kjonnigland dates back as far as the 10th century, when the nation existed as a band of nomadic people's who relied mainly on the Arctic Ocean for fishing and whaling. These peoples were first united in 997 by King Olav Trygvason, and were incorporated into the quickly growing Norwegian kingdom. A period of unification and expansion followed, with the future nation of Kjonnigland existing as the northern territories of the Kingdom of Norway.

In 1349, the Black Death wiped out between 40 and 50 percent of the Norwegian population, an event which led to a near-total breakdown of society. Tensions between the people of what would become the People's Republic of Kjonnigland and the future Kingdom of Norway were already evident in the decades following the Black Death, but the two nations would remain unified as one for nearly 600 more years. In 1732, northern Norway was officially re-named Kjonnig Province.

After the Marx's Communist Manifesto was published in 1848, a small but strong group in Norway's far north used his new ideas as the basis for the creation of the Nord Norge Kommunistisk Selskap (North Norway Communist Party). The party gained widespread support throughout the Kjonnig Province. However, the party was re-vamped in 1861 after several consecutive election losses, and became the Demokratisk Sosialistselskap av Nord Norge (Democratic Socialist Party of Northern Norway).

In 1912, the Democratic Socialist Party lost an election by a narrow margin, and controversy ensued. Several government officials were accused of rigging the election, and the monarchy was accused of ignoring the needs of the north. These tensions were really a continuation of nearly 600 years of muted conflict. In 1913, Kjonnig Province held a referendum to decide on the question of seperation from Norway. On April 24, 1913, the people of Kjonnig Province voted 82-18 in favour of separation. The monarchy, sensing imminent public unrest in the north, relented. On May 17, 1913 (ironically, Norway's independence day), Kjonnig Province declared it's independence from Norway, and assumed the name Kjonnigland.

Like Norway, Kjonnigland remained neutral throughout the First World War. As a new nation, it was in no position to fight. However, on April 9, 1940, German troops invaded Norway, and on April 14, invaded Kjonnigland. Both Norway and Kjonnigland fell quickly to the German Blitzkreig, as neither nation had been preparing for war. The German occupation of Kjonnigland would last until February of 1943, when the Germans were being pushed back to their own borders, and Kjonnigland's northern ports were no longer useful to them as strategic lauch-points for attacks on Britain. Kjonnigland has kept a large standing army since 1947, and introduced compulsory military service in 1949.

Separation was a blessing in disguise for both nations. Relations between the two Scandinavian lands has not been more civil since the unification of 997. The two nations share an open-border policy, and Kjonnigland recognizes King Harold V of Norway as it's Head of State, although this title is only ceremonial in nature. The two nations share the same currency, speak the same language (except for small pockets of Kjonnigland), and are virtually indestinguishable in culture.

Politics

The People's Republic of Kjonnigland is governed by the Ny Demokratisk Sosialistselskap av Kjonnigland (New Democratic Socialist Party of Kjonnigland), and is classified by the United Nations as a Democratic Socialist nation. The NDSP was founded in 1951, and has formed the Kjonnig government ever since. Kjonniglanders participate in free-elections, and often vote in record numbers. The NDSP has not met with any significant competition since its creation, except for the 1966 election, in which it formed a minority government after a strong campaign by the now-defunct Kjonnigland Liberation Front. The leader of the NDSP, and Prime Minister of Kjonnigland, is Jens Stoltenborg.

Kjonnigland recently served a 46 day term as United Nations Delegate for the Arctic Region. This region is home to 43 nations of varying political ideologies, and due to these differences the position of regional delegate is often difficult to maintain. However, Kjonnigland managed to gain support from other UN members in the region, and did it's best to take into account the needs of both UN members and non-members, even though the delegate is actually accountable only to UN members.

Kjonnigland itself is firmly rooted in Democratic Socialism, but did not impose these beliefs on any other nation in Arctic. Instead, Kjonnigland prefered to lead by example rather than by an iron fist. All UN member nations in Arctic were encouraged to vote on UN resolutions under the Kjonnig regime, and Kjonnigland always voted in favour of the Arctic majority. However, the apathetic nature of Arctician voters often meant that one or two nations would have ultimate control over the delegate votes in the UN, rather than the intended full group of UN members.

Kjonnigland has also expressed a concern for the slow growth of the Arctic region. Critics have claimed that more attention should be paid to the region's struggling economy, but it is Kjonnigland's position that an increase in regional population will boost the economy through natural means, such as increased trade and commerce. Kjonnigland applied a Laisez Faire style of leadership, stating that "matters of religion, culture, and style of government are the concern of each indiviual Arctic nation, not the UN Delegate." Approval ratings for Kjonnigland were both high and low, depending on where the information came from. Apathetic voting habits of Arctic nations make elections sluggish and difficult at best.

Religion

The Government of Kjonnigland does not officially endorse or fund any religion. However, several religions are recognized in Kjonnigland. Below is a breakdown of spiritual groups that are active in Kjonnigland today, and the percentage of Kjonniglanders who are affiliated with them:

  1. the Protestant Church (30%)
  2. the Roman Catholic Church (15%)
  3. the Reconstructionist Pagan Church (14%)
  4. Hinduism (9%)
  5. Islamic (1%)
  6. Non-Religious (31%)

In many countries, religions are tax-exempt organizations. In Kjonnigland, churches are seen to make a profit, and are therefore not tax exempt. This policy has affected the number of churches, and by association the number of people who have access to a convenient religious organization. Critics of this policy state that it is a major reason for the high number of non-religious Kjonniglanders, but no studies of the like have been done.

Climate

Kjonnigland is a characteristically cold nation, with an average annual temperature of -12 degrees celcius, or 10 degrees farenheit. Being largely surrounded by the ocean causes the climate to be fairly mild, with slow temperature fluctuations and predictable weather and season changes.

Summer in Kjonnigland is quite pleasant, with typical mid-day temperatures in July and August ranging from 13 to 21 degrees celcius (55 to 69 F). Being located in the far north, Kjonnigland is at a unique location on the globe - the sun shines past midnight for several weeks in the spring, and between July 6th and August 17th, the sun is alway out, but at such an angle that the temperature never rises beyond 25 degrees on even the hottest of days.

Winter in Kjonnigland can be harsh at times, but is usually bearable. Typical temperatures in December and January range from -32 to -18 celcius (-25 to -4 F). Winter days are very short, with the shortest day (December 17th) lasting just three minutes, usually from 3:12 pm until 3:15 pm. Being situated at the top of the globe, the changing lengths of days throughout the year is noticable on a near-weekly basis. The sun disappears for much of the winter, with the nation being plunged into darkness each year on December 18th, and the sun returning on January 27th. The average winter day, not including those in which there is no sunlight, is only 4 hours and 37 minutes from sunrise to sunset.

Military

For men between the ages of 17 and 21, military service is compulsory for a period of one year. This miltiary service is fully paid, and can be completed anytime after the person's 17th birthday, but must be begun before their 22nd birthday. Compulsory service was introduced in order to maintain a military presence without the need for conscription. The majority of Kjonniglanders understand and appreciate the need for this service, and most take great pride in serving their country. In addition to these "single-year soldiers," Kjonnigland maintains a standing army of 1,250,000 men, most of whom chose to extend their military sevice beyond the mandatory one year. Men can enlist for up to 5 years at a time, and are given rigorous physical and mental tests before beginning each service period. Most soldiers remain with the army until the mandatory retirement age of 49. At this time, many live semi-retired under Kjonnigland's Military Pensioner's Work Program. They work two days per week in community service jobs, and in exchange have most of their needs taken care of by the government, with plenty of money left over for leisure. A military career in Kjonnigland can be a ver lucrative one, as the government greatly appreciates it's career soldiers.

Below is a brief breakdown of the Kjonnigland Forces:

  1. Army
    1. 900,000 men
    2. 339 Regiments
    3. 27 Tank and Heavy Artillery Regiments
  1. Navy
    1. 250,000 men (Seamen and Pilots)
    2. 83 Battleships
    3. 31 Frigates
    4. 16 Aircraft Carriers
  1. Airforce
    1. 50,000 men
    2. 420 Russian-built SU-27 Fighters
    3. 211 American-built F-18 Fighters
    4. 145 American-built F-16 Fighters
    5. 66 American-built B-1 Bombers
    6. 12 American-built B-2 Bombers
    7. Also flying C-5 Galaxies, C-141 Starlifters, and various other personnel carriers and troop-support aircraft.

Foreign Policy

Kjonnigland maintains an open-border policy with neighbouring Norway to the south, and relaxed travel regulations between itself and several European countries, including Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, and Britain, and also allows relaxed travel regulations with Canada The nation is currently being flooded with refugees from the Middle East, and Prime Minister Stoltenborg assures these people that "there will always be room in Kjonnigland for those in need of sanctuary from oppression." Citizens of Kjonnigland have expressed concern over the influx of refugees, concerned mostly over the possible loss of jobs to foreigners willing to work for a subsistence wage. Kjonniglanders are currently barred from travelling to Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, and Israel due to the political and military tensions in these nations. The Kjonnigland government has also severed it's relations with the United States of America to protest their involvement in the Middle East.

Sports and Recreation

The national sport of Kjonnigland is ice hockey, which is the only sport that the government allows to be played at the professional level. 23 of Kjonnigland's major cities have established teams in the Kjonnig Nasjonal Ishockey Liga, the most popular professional league in the country. When the national team competes in internation competitions, the country has been known to come to a complete halt until games end. Hockey is by far the most popular sport in Kjonnigland, but several other sports have a small following. Below is a breakdown of the percentage of Kjonniglanders by the sport they list as their favorite:

  1. Hockey (93%)
  2. Football (4%)
  3. Cricket (1%)
  4. American Football (1%)
  5. Rugby (0.5%)
  6. Lacrosse (0.3%)
  7. Basketball (0.2%)

See Also

Sterkfolk

Arctic

United Nations