Léopoldo Bahamonde
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| Political Position(s): | Generalissimo of The Phalange, Grand Stratocrat of the Supreme Military Council, Chairman of the National Syndicalist Party, Commander-in-Chief of the Phalangian Armed Forces |
| Term of Office: | January 2, 1975 - present |
| Predecessor: | None |
| Successor: | Incumbent |
| Birthdate: | April 4, 1942 |
| Place of Birth: | Castilla, Isla de Caudillo |
| Nationality: | 1/2 Spanish, 2/5 Portuguese, 1/10 Italian |
| Spouse: | Isabella Désiré Bahamonde |
| Profession(s): | Field marshal, politician |
| Political Party: | National Syndicalist Party |
| Languages Spoken: | Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, English, German, Pacitalian, Dienstadi, Esperanto |
| Degrees: | none |
Generalissimo Léopoldo Luis Suárez Bahamonde Salazar, born on April 4, 1942 on Isla de Caudillo (present-day Phalange), has been the head of state of The Phalange since its inception as a nation on January 2, 1975.
Contents
Early life
Bahamonde's parents were Juan, a far-right Spanish military engineer who was a staunch supporter of FET y de las JONS, and Salvadora, an illiterate seamstress of mixed Spanish/Portuguese heritage from a poor, working-class family. Both parents were devout Roman Catholics, but the similarities ended there. His father was abrasive, crass, rigily authoritarian figure who entered a fit of explosive rage at the slightest provocation, and frequently beat both his wife and only son. His mother was shy, modest, soft-spoken, honest to a fault, and had a very gentle heart. His father, an alcoholic, died of cirrhosis of the liver in 1947, six days before young Léopoldo Bahamonde's seventh birthday. On the other hand, his mother firmly believed in prohibition and considered alcohol pure evil.
Like many other fascists, Juan Bahamonde fled Spain with his life after the communists achieved victory in the Spanish Civil War. Following the assassination of General Franco in Spain, the communists wasted no time celebrating their victory, and immediately invaded Portugal, where they assassinated Dr. Salazar. The two countries then formed a Marxist federation that implemented a Stalinist economic policy and massacred hundreds of thousands of people. Fearing reprisals, many Franco and Salazar supporters fled their home countries in droves. Most settled in Mussolini's Italy, until the Allies invaded. Boarding ships, they set sail in the direction of Eastern Europe, but a terrible storm struck, threw them off course, and stranded them on an uncharted Mediterranean island roughly twice the size of Malta. There, they set up small towns and cities, each self-governing under various types of fascism, ranging from national syndicalism to full-fledged National Socialism. Juan and his young wife settled in one of the newly built towns, Castilla, where Léopoldo was born a few years later.
His early years were rough. His family struggled with poverty, and his often-disgruntled father tended to vent out his anger on his wife and son. When he was only four, young Léopoldo lost three teeth and had his lower jaw fractured after incurring a horrific beating, merely for slipping and breaking a dish. Some speculate that his mother's devout Catholicism, and the Roman Catholic Church's position on divorce, is the only reason she did not leave her husband. Shortly after completing kindergarten, Léopoldo's father died. The degree of violence to which he had been exposed so early on, and the unyielding strictness of his father's discipline, may have been an influence in shaping his character. Some attribute his iron-fisted rule in the present day to his suffering during those early years.
His performance in school was nothing out of the ordinary. He neither excelled nor foundered. He never received lower than a C-, nor higher than a C+. He stayed out of trouble, had few friends, and was described by teachers as a "basically decent and likeable kid, but a bit too shy and withdrawn." He showed slight interest in sports, particularly soccer, but never joined a school team. For the most part, people (including bullies) left him alone.
Due to his strict religious upbringing, he was very conservative, even as a teenager. He never smoked, consumed alcohol, swore, or had sex. He was exceptionally polite, almost to the point of being "prudish," making him the laughing stock of his more liberal peers, but endearing him to many young ladies.
However, he considered school "monotonous," and, realizing that his mediocre grades would never get him into a college, he dropped out at the age of sixteen and joined the Isla de Caudillo Defense Force, a small but highly-trained paramilitary organization which both combatted "subversion" and warded off external threats. Much of its military hardware came from sympathetic Latin American military dictatorships.
Military years
Whereas in school he was the epitome of mediocrity, in the military he excelled. He advanced in rank at an almost alarming pace; within half a decade, he had attained the rank of Colonel. It was around this time that he met his sweetheart, Isabella, whom he married six months later. In the military, he was known for being level-headed, unfailingly obedient to superior officers, quick to learn, and for accomplishing his tanks quickly, efficiently, and to a much higher standard than nearly all his peers. He was known for his paternalistic attitude toward his troops, regarded as a very strict but loving father-like figure. Though he was very tough in meting out punishment to dissidence, made his troops work extremely hard, and was known to hit insubordinate soldiers, he was almost universally loved and adored by his troops, many of whom fondly referred to him (not to his face, of course) as "Papa."
In the middle of the turbulent 1960s, he received military training in several countries headed by friendly military dictators, such as Brazil and Paraguay. He even spent some time in Bolivia training with the military there, and he even claims to have been the one who captured and killed the legendary guerrilla Ernesto "Che" Guevara, although very few people believe this to be true. He did, however, make several attempts on the life of Cuban premier Fidel Castro, under the auspices of the CIA. One of his attempts very nearly succeeded. When Castro was touring the world in 1970, he made a stop in Algeria. Tipped off by the CIA that Castro would be there, Bahamonde hurried there as quickly as he could. Perched on a balcony, he fired at Castro several times with a sniper rifle, killing several of his bodyguards and mortally wounding an aide of Castro's, but each of his shots missed Castro himself. Thankfully for Bahamonde, he managed to escape unscathed, and Cuba never learned of Isla de Caudillo's involvement.
In the early 1970s, shortly after Bahamonde was promoted to General of the Army, several of the city officials on the island convened to discuss establishing a new nation. It was quickly agreed upon to establish a fascist state, but politicians debated fiercely as to what type of fascism it should be, i.e. corporatism, national syndicalism, National Socialism, etc. This debate soon intensified to the point that hostilities broke out, resulting in riots and uprisings that killed thousands. This soon erupted into a mini-civil war that killed nearly 100,000 people. Martial law was declared, and Bahamonde, as commander of the armed forces, was granted emergency powers to deal with the situation as he saw fit. He ruthlessly smashed the uprising, tortured and executed thousands, and made even the mildest dissent a capital crime. Brutal and ruthless as his methods were, they worked, and by 1974 he had managed to impose law and order on the entire island. By the end of the year, he and his aides had drafted a constitution establishing a single-party state, with Roman Catholicism as the national religion and the National Syndicalist Party as the sole political party. The constitution mandated that the government be a stratocracy, or a government ruled directly by the military. All cabinet members except the Prime Minister (a mere figurehead), and all members of the unicameral National Assembly, were members of the armed forces. Elections, strikes, public demonstrations, all labor and trade unions except the government-controlled Sindicato Vertical, and all political interest groups were outlawed. Dissent was dealt with harshly. On a more positive note, the regime was non-racial (in fact, Bahamonde, who executed every last Nazi on the island, was avowedly anti-racist) and permitted much religious freedom. Protestants, Catholics, and Jews coexisted harmoniously, and were free to worship without governmental interference. However, academic freedom was restricted, the media was heavily censored, and the government punished "immoral" acts such as homosexuality and prostitution by death. The new country was named The Phalange.
As leader of The Phalange
Economic policy
Initially, the government pursued an economic policy based on Mussolini-esque corporatism. State and corporate power were effectively merged; labor was highly organized and hierarchically organized in a single labor federation (Sindicato Vertical, mentioned previously); business owners, employees, trades-people, professionals, and other economic classes were organized into several guilds, or associations, known as "corporations" according to their industries, which were represented in a legislative body; high tariffs, anti-competetive laws, and other protectionist measures were enacted; and farms and businesses were strictly regulated and massively subsidized. While these measures did foster modest economic growth and did succeed in ending class struggle (by grouping together workers and owners according to corporatist principles), the economy remained, for the most part, largely agrarian and stagnant. By 1986, Bahamonde publicly admitted that corporatism had been a failure, and began implementing profound reforms. Most parastatals were privatized, tariffs were slashed, and businesses were deregulated. Bahamonde originally proclaimed these would be temporary measures, to be abandoned as soon as prosperity ensued. To his surprise, the economy grew by leaps and bounds. Buoyed by this success, he implemented an even greater reforms. In 1995, Absolute Capitalism was made the official state economic policy. Accelerated growth, a growing middle-class, a favorable balance of trade, a balanced budget, low debt, and minimal inflation resulted, and, as of 2006, the nation has continued to experience phenomenal growth.
Foreign policy
As an indefatiguable nationalist and self-described isolationist, Bahamonde greatly feared that, if he opened the country up to the world, it would lead to its being dominated by a foreign power. Starting in the late 1970s, he permitted limited trade with most non-communist countries, but his strongly protectionist measures made economic growth modest at best. While he secretly provided aid and sympathy to guerrilla insurgencies trying to overthrow communist governments, for the most part he kept the country strictly neutral. It was not until 2006 that, after very careful consideration, he finally began allowing countries to establish embassies in The Phalange. However, he was very selective about who could and not have diplomatic relations with the country. He continued his adamant opposition to communism, and began to voice this opposition more openly to the world community.
Domestic policy
His highly conservative positions on social issues were reflected in his domestic policies. All cultural activities were subject to censorship, and many were plainly forbidden on various, many times spurious, grounds (political or moral). Alcohol, all drugs, prostitution, homosexuality, adultery, polygamy, pre-marital sex, gambling, and pornography were all strictly outlawed. A puritanical dress code was enforced, forbidding women from wearing jeans or short skirts and forbidding men from growing their hair too long. Academic freedom was restricted, and the government had absolute control over education. Education received massive funding from the government, but all content was controlled by the government, as well. Endless propaganda and dogmas pervaded every level of school, from preschool to college, thoroughly indoctrinating students in such "crucial" themes as nationalism, anti-communism, and servility to the state. Schools were famed for their taxing exams, tremendous loads of homework, extremely strict discipline, and complete lack of tolerance for insubordination, tardiness, laziness, or "immorality." Preschool through high school was compulsory for all children. The government provided free healthcare for all citizens, and all education, even college, was free for everyone.
Prisons were often overflowing with "dissidents" and "undesirables" of all types, from vagrants to prostitutes to democracy activists to common criminals. Crime was very low, due to an all-pervasive presence of police, secret police, military police, and paid informers.
Personal
Bahamonde, although very fond of children, has never had any children of his own. His wife became infertile after a uterine infection when she was younger, so the couple can never have children. Bahamonde is personally receptive to the idea of adoption, but his wife adamantly refuses.
His only living relatives are a cousin who is in his late seventies that he has not seen in over thirty years, and a distant uncle.
He an avid animal lover, and has twelve cats, sixteen dogs, twenty-eight birds, hundreds of fish, and many other pets.
His hobbies are golf, fishing, hunting, skeet shooting, and listening to classical music.
He and his wife are both devout Catholics who attend Mass every day.
