Lois-Must-Die

Lois-Must-Die

Flag of Lois-Must-Die
Motto: "Victory is mine!"
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Region	Antarctic Oasis
Capital
Official Language(s)	English, Gehinnan
Leader	Ali Rushafa
Population	900 million
Currency	death ray
NS Sunset XML

History

The Psychotic Knightslayers of Lois-Must-Die was founded thousands of years ago by wandering nomad shepherds in the ancient oil-rich deserts of Valdesia. The people found few areas for growing crops, but plenty of land fit for raising livestock, and animal husbandry has remained a staple of the Lois-Must-Die economy, followed in later years by arms manufacturing and uranium mining. Lois-Must-Die quickly established trade with the other nations in the region. A Valdorothan declaring himself Prophet of the One True God visited early in Lois-Must-Die's history, and the people of the desert nation have been devoutly -- many fanatically -- religious ever since.

Ali, a tribal ruler with great influence among Lois-Must-Die's merchants and religious leaders emerged as the first king of the whole nation around 1000 B.C. Notorious for ruthlessness and brutality, Ali tightened his grip on the nation, sucking up vast sums of its wealth, until the economy was on the brink of collapse. His dynasty was passed down through the ages until about A.D. 65, when Gehinnan nobleman Justinian invaded and overthrew the weak Ali king. Anxious for relief from the Ali kings' harsh rule, Lois-Must-Die's people welcomed the advancing armies, but soon learned that Justinian's rule would be no more friendly than the Alis'. Justinian rapidly earned Gehinna the enduring contempt of Lois-Must-Die's people, and was put down in a revolt in 79, when a sheik named Omaro seized power as emir. Omaro proved every bit as ruthless as Justinian and the Alis, but he legalized prostitution, so the people tolerated him.

The Omarian emirs continued their rule of Lois-Must-Die until 1939, when a brutal military leader Gen. Hashish Abdullah overthrew the Omarian dynasty and declared himself dictator. Abdullah shut down the nation's many thriving brothels and exercized total control over all the people's lives. He slaughtered business and religious leaders who disagreed with him. He made war on neighboring Gehinna, continuing his assault for five years, only to see 70,000 Gehinnans and 35,000 of his own people dead before agreeing to end the conflict in a disappointing draw. Abdullah's power was greatly weakened by the Gehinna War, and one of his understudies deposed him in 1950.

Ashfari Gehhonai ruled Lois-Must-Die with an iron fist until 1979, when he was deposed by his deputy, Husseini Sharif. Sharif continued in Lois-Must-Die's tradition of brutal leadership, and started executing southern nomadic shepherds. He unleashed chemical bombs on revolting shepherds in 1982, and on Gehinna in 1985, resulting in the 4-year Gehinna War II, where 200,000 people lost their lives. Sharif finally repelled Gehinna's invasion forces in 1989, but both nations found themselves under U.N. mandates to disarm. Gehinna did so quickly, but Sharif repeatedly resisted and obstructed inspections efforts. Sharif is widely blamed for a deadly terrorist attack on Vandross, where three commercial airliners were destroyed by homemade bombs before takeoff, but little evidence connects him to the attackers.

In a highly controversial move, the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny and seven Amerantan allies invaded Lois-Must-Die in 1995 and overthrew Sharif, they said, to enforce the demands of the U.N. Amerantans imposed elections, from which emerged an equally despicable leader, Ali Rushafa, as president. Though just as brutal as all the leaders who came before him, Rushafa was willing to disarm, and was generally friendly toward Ameranta. In any case, Amerantans insisted Rushafa was "democratically elected," and therefore the legitimate choice of Lois-Must-Die's people.

Rushafa, though exchanging alarmingly threatening communiques with nearly all of Valdesia's leaders, kept very close relations with Omigodtheykilledkenny and its Amerantan allies. He allowed the nation to maintain a heavy military presence in his nation's borders -- which some clerics and devout citizens consider deeply sacrilegious and threatening to holy shrines in the country -- but convinced the Federal Republic's leaders to realign much of them in 1996. In 1999, most of the remaining Federal Republic forces were expelled from the country, though a few Omigodtheykilledkenny military bases exist in Lois-Must-Die to this day.

In 2000, Lois-Must-Die escaped a seismic catastrophe in Valdesia, and followed its ally Omigodtheykilledkenny to a refuge in the Antarctic, where a new region was founded. The national economy has improved sharply under Rushafa, to the point that the nation is now among the top 1,000 in the NS world for income disparity, and Lois-Must-Die has become the most powerful military leader in its region.