Milauo Slietah

Milauo Slietah is perhaps the most-famous of all Turorian goalies. Along with fellow Turorian National team star Marlian Hunial, Slietah helped to start up Cednia Beach.

In one famous internatonal occasion, Slietah scored a hat-trick in a Cup of Harmony world World Cup 16 against Starblaydia, ensuring himself a place in football folklore. Here is an excerpt from the Starblaydi Newspaper The Jhanna Chronicle, recounting the match.

Genius, Fool or Luck of the Turorians?

Slietah turns into national hero with performance of the century.
by 'Scoop' Ragnarsson, our man in Cockbill Street.

First of all, I thought I'd seen everything. After having seen our very own Stefan Haldorsson score from sixty-yards, I thought I'd seen the longest-distance goal we were ever likely to get in a match involving Starblaydia. I hate to admit it, but I was wrong. Turorians will be glad to hear that their Goalkeeper, Milauo Slietah, 24, of Cednia Beach in Turori, scored the most unlikely hat-trick this reporter, or anyone else, is ever likely to witness. Let me set the scene for you.

Picture, if you will, the Vimesbairn National Stadium in Cockbill Street, one of the more pronounceable grounds in the land. One one side we have the Brown and Blue of Turori. On the other the White and Purple of Starblaydia. Regional rivals, Starblaydia's relativerly poor Qualification campaign has left all the pundits believing Turori are favourites for the win. With the two squads of thirty and twenty-three respectively, Turori and Starblaydia pack their dugouts, technical areas and other seating allocations with players. In the early minutes, some of the younger Corinthian Spirits players squirt water from bottles at their club-mate Duncan Jacob, the Starblaydia U21 sweeper turned Turori Reserve. The fourth official sees to this tomfoolery as Marlian Hunial gently heads the ball back to his keeper. Slietah then proceeds to take a run up and drop-kicks the ball high, high into the air. The ball swirls around in the air as it leaves the stadium at the half-way line, plummeting back to the grass in a pin-point arc.

Just as the commentators are commenting on the huge distance of the kick, we see Starblaydi goalie Rodriguez Da Silva backtracking from his 18-yard line. The shaven-headed, goateed keeper sprints to his line as the crowd send up a cheer. Then, on the TV pictures, we see the white ball flash onto the screen and billow the Starblaydi net, beyond the leap of Da Silva. Somehow, incredibly, Slietah the 'keeper has scored from just outside his own penalty box, in a kick from his hands. Starblaydia are dumbfounded and Slietah is buried under a mass of Turorian players, subs and reserves.

The celebrations go on for more than a few minutes, but at the restart, Starblaydia come back into the game with renewed vigour. With crisp passing moves they makea mockery of the elated Turorian defence, J.J. Stark gets on the end of the move and slots home the equaliser. 1-1 is the score with around fifteen minutes left.

Then, with around fifteen seconds to go in the first half's injury time, Slietah does something strange and sprints up for the corner, won by Cuolia Tuirma. Some of the more aware Turorians yell at the 'keeper to get back, but he's not having any of it. As the corner is whipped in, no one sees him sneak in at the near post and bullet header the ball in off the inside of the woodwork. Once again the Turorians go mental as Slietah cheers like he's won the game. Unfortunately for him, he's not been paying attention and its half-time, not full-time. Starblaydia go in dumbstruck once again.

The second half was less exciting, of course, but there didn't seem to be any sort of a goal coming from either side. Turori seemed happy with their 2-1 lead while Starblaydia just couldn't break through. Then Turori substitute Kaboafo Iobabao broke into the box and was illegaly felled by Robert Cole and the referee blew for a penalty and gave Cole a yellow card for the clumsy challenge. Once more Slietah sprinted up from the back and demanded to take the penalty. This ego-maniac wanted his hat-trick, and he duely got it by smashing the ball past Da Silva's dive.

A goalkeeper with a hat-trick, and Starblaydia back to losing their opening matchdays. Such is life...

Post-Match Interview

After the match, Cockbill Street Reporter Icestone Morracca was able to speak with Slietah:

"Well I was kind of in shock when the first one went in, I'm sure I have gotten a friendly gust from the wind that's taken the ball out of the path that Da Silva's thought it was going in, and a stroke of luck has seen it sneak under the crossbar into the net. I guess from then I felt as if nothing could go wrong, so when the ref signalled that the corner was going to be taken, while the whistle rested in his mouth, I figured what the heck, I'll have a go at it, and being the goalkeeper I guess the Starblaydi players didnt see it in themselves to mark me, so there I went the ball came right to me, it was a great kick by Cuolia and i just managed to get enough of it to put it in off the bar. Obviously when Koboafo went down in the box, it wasn't going to be anyones choice, It's a once in a lifetime, I'll probably never score another goal in my life, so to have three in one night, it was just amazing. As far as the next match, I may be tempted for another long ball or two, but don't expect me running up for any corners!"