Mock Swedish

Mock Swedish, as spoken in Borkistan, is a barely comprehensible off-shoot of English, basically with a lot of umlauts and random Scandanavian looking accent marks, along with occasional utterances of Bürk!. Waning in popularity as the population of Borkistan becomes more cosmopolitan, it is still an important cultural distinction of the nation, much like the large chef hats the populace has taken to wearing over the centuries.

Most instances of Mock Swedish do not leave the country and are filtered for the regional audience into passable English. Cases where this is not a case is in propaganda footage of the military, which operates fully in Mock Swedish, and in Borkistani exchange programs with other members of the Axis of Absurdity. There is a growing insistence by many to continue using Mock Swedish in the home and throughout the country in everyday life, even as English is accepted by many.

Understanding Mock Swedish

Below are some examples of Mock Swedish and their translations:

Hei! Thåtz-a mi faace yer gräbbin. Gö avay ant leff mee alüne-a! translates roughly into:

Excuse me, sir, but this is a highly uncomfortable position. Perhaps a mutually beneficial arrangement would be preferable to this.

and

I maake de bezt-a pieez in-a ålla Bürkistan; whaat doo yå meen when yer sayin' dere not-a güd enuf fer yer Bönelez Chikie? Wanna peece-a mee, doo ya, puunk? translates to:

I respectfully disagree with your criticism of my cooking and think that you should perhaps find another establishment more to your liking.

Source: How to Speak Like a Native in the Axis of Absurdity, 2005, Borkistani Imperial Press.