Moschatuma
- The title given to this article is incorrect due to technical limitations. The correct title is moschatuma.
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Renowned for his elegant play, moschatuma has been reckoned by his contemporaries as the greatest Errinundrian player of his era. A midfielder with sublime ball-handling skills he was a winner of the leighm medal and captain of the winning World Cup 7 team.
Academic Achievements
Studied Forest Management at the Goongerah Floratech.
World Cups
- Stats include qualifying matches
- leighm medal is voted upon by the Errinundrian coaching staff for the Player of the Series.
At 24 was already being earmarked as a future leader of the potoroos. He had a terrific WC5 and was just pipped by sandrab for the leighm medal. He was best on ground in Errinundera's first ever World Cup qualifying match (against Quercustan) and followed that up with another best on ground performance against Kingsford.
- 8 leighm medal votes (equal with handesydek and one behind the winner, sandrab).
- Errinundera qualified but lost in the first round.
Followed up a superb WC5 with a magnificent WC6, winning the leighm medal at a canter. The most elegant, skillful and courageous player in the side. The perfect player, in other words.
- 1 goal (Halfassedstates)
- 28 leighm medal votes - winner. The runner-up, captain-coach fionar, received 19.
- Best Errinundrian player in the following matches:
- Mezitzia - qualifying
- Total n Utter Insanity - qualifying
- LordSquall - qualifying
- Quohog - qualifying
- Halfassedstates - 1st round
- Lemmitania - quarterfinal
- Errinundera was defeated in the play-off for 3rd place.
Appointed captain of the side. Not as brilliant as in WC6 but consistently good throughout the campaign. Best afield in the narrow semi-final victory against Bedistan.
- 10 leighm medal votes, behind snapier who scored 13.
- 7 of the leighm medal votes were scored during the Cup tournament itself - equal best with snapier and longipesp
- Held aloft the World Cup at the conclusion of the final.
Life after Football
At the end of World Cup 7 moschatuma returned to his beloved Kanooka Creek and played out his career there, finally retiring from football at 37. He became a local forest ranger and took no further part in the football world. He married sheedyk and had one child. His great great grandson, matherosperma was a member of the World Cup 30, World Cup 31 and World Cup 32 potoroo squads.
Quotes
- World Cup 5
- World Cup 6
- Coach fionar: "Our signature line-up is 3-4-3 but we are blessed with midfield players such as moschatuma, handesydek and horstrac who have an uncanny ability to read the play."
- moschatuma on an unexpected 1st round loss: “We really didn’t take this game seriously enough. It’s been a very long season for many of the players and after almost not qualifying I suppose the guys thought, ‘hey we’ve made it, we can relax now.’ It’s not like that. With each hurdle you leap the tempo steps up. Yes, we’re a young side but if we want to make that extra step into the top 16 we must be absolutely focussed.”
- moschatuma on accepting the leighm medal giving credit to the coach, fionar: “After the debacle against Halfassedstates, she really kicked our arses. And it was what we badly needed. From that point on were played our hearts out. We didn’t have a bad match after that.”
- moschatuma acknowledging filthyl in the same speech: “Sure, fionar led us into the top 4 in the world, but it was filthyl who moved mountains to get football established in Errinundera. It was filthyl who built the foundations that fionar has so brilliantly built upon. I have been so lucky to have such magnificent mentors.”
- World Cup 7
- moschatuma on discovering that leather balls and boots had been used in matches: “Words cannot express my horror at what has happened. To think that I’ve been kicking the shit out of ex-cows is horrible beyond words.” (See Vegetarianism in Errinundera)
- Football commentator spouth in response: "Our national team is nothing but overpaid pension collectors. Who else on earth would vomit when they discover they’ve been kicking around ex-cows? Get real guys, you are paid bucket-loads of money to show no mercy. It’s time to get rid of the soft streak. I reckon it should be mandatory for national team members to wring some creature’s neck each day"
- moschatuma speaking later about the same scandal: "There have been rumours that prolonged exposure to leather can lead to withering of the genitals and a reduction in intelligence. Experts at the University of Milosis have pointed out that this is a classic example of confusing cause and effect. Withered genitals and low intelligence are two of the main causes why people want to wear leather. You have to admit, it’s a strange world we live in. Why would anyone have a fetish for leather? Polyester is so much better."
- Team mate longipesp after scoring 2 goals in the semi final: “I was riding on the back of moschatuma. He was so courageous and creative. He does the hard work and I get the glory. It’s not fair really.”
