NSUN Lawyers
Flag of NSUN Lawyers | |
Motto: "I refer you all to the case of Finders v. Keepers ..." | |
No Map Available Yet | |
Region | The Halls of the UN |
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Capital | UNHQ frogurt stand |
Official Language(s) | Legalese |
Leader | Mustafa Putzschmuck |
Population | 3.5 billion |
Currency | loophole |
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The "I Can't Believe It's a Lawfirm!" of NSUN Lawyers is not so much a nation as it is an NSUN institution, and not so much an institution as it is a terrible leviathan, a many-armed Hydra which ensnares anything within reach. All who fall into its grasp are hopelessly bound to its fate, forever. But all legal services come with a free frogurt. So it's not so bad. The Lawyers are headquartered at the UN Building, in a deep, dark orifice from which no light can escape. Since there are literally billions of lawyers on its payroll (and not all of them can cram behind that tiny frogurt stand), most usually lurk in the dark, appearing only when needed, otherwise whiling away in some inexplicable state of limbo.
NSUN Lawyers furnish legal services for most NSUN agencies, offices and commissions, as well as national delegations, at their request. A notable exception is the Compliance Ministry, as the gnomes have never required much help when examining loopholes in the text of resolutions. The lawyers will appear out of the waiting shadows, seething with horrific delight, whenever anyone at UNHQ makes the slightest allusion to needing legal assistance. Others stand around outside the building, chasing ambulances. Mustafa Putzschmuck is NSUN Lawyers' lead counsel who, aside from holding the distinction of being both a putz and a schmuck, handles most cases for which the firm is hired. He may even have a law degree of some sort.