Nathatonia
The People's Socialist Republic of Nathatonia is a huge, safe nation, notable for its devotion to social welfare. Its compassionate population of 550 million enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Welfare, and Defence. The average income tax rate is 100%. A substantial private sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry.
The government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, teenagers across the country are celebrating the defeat of a national curfew bill, and parents are held criminally responsible for their children's crimes. Crime is totally unknown. Nathatonia's national animal is the draft horse, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Nate .
Most Nathatonians are practitioners of a liberal, tolerant branch of Christianity called Natism. The Natist belief structure is summed up below:
1) Don't be a narrow-minded jerk-off.
2) Love thy neighbor as thyself.
3) Turn the other cheek.
4) Judge not lest ye be judged.
5) Hey, you're gonna mess up. If you do, no biggie, just try to learn from your mistakes.
6) You don't always have to be all fake-nice to people. Remember, Jesus did kick a lot of money-changer ass at the temple. Confront and fight injustice!
7) Legal and moral are two different things. Don't get them confused.
8) Your life is no more precious than anyone elses. You're nothing special, chump, so don't go around thinking you're the cat's pajamas and looking down at everyone and saying it's OK to kill or hurt them or deny them their God-given human rights just because they're different from you.
9) Give God the greatest offering possible -- you're ability to KICK ASS! Plus, he'd probably enjoy passing around a blunt and drinking a 40 with his homies, so next time you're getting high or getting drunk include God and all your friends in the festivities. Only terrorists bogart the buzz, and, as has been drilled mercilessly into our heads the last 4 years, nobody likes a terrorist.
10) God put us here to enjoy oursleves, so as long as enjoying yourself doesn't violate the above commandments, DO IT!!!
The people of Nathatonia are a peaceful, thoughtful lot, highly educated and willing to set aside any desires for power or wealth in order to live lives of self-fulfillment and purpose.
They would rather supply the weapons of war to others than to use those weapons themselves. In fact, the development of such weapons has reached the point of being an art-form, with their simple but elegant aesthetic qualities being as important as their destructive capabilities. Nathatonians relish in contests of marksmanship, with target shooting not only a required course in both primary and secondary education, but also the country's most popular leisure activity.
This penchant for fine weaponry stems more from a fascination with the abililty to control such destructive forces as well as a burning responsibility to use those forces judiciously. Nathatonians believe that posessing the power to kill yet exercising restraint in its use is the highest form of discipline and morality. This is exhibited in Nathatonia having virtually no crime despite the ubuquitousness of weaponry and marksmanship.
That having been said, Nathatonians will not hesitate to WHOOP YOUR BITCH ASS, MOTHERFUCKER!! So bring it on, because the Nathatonians WILL NOT BE FUCKED WITH! We will not hesitate to use our sport to wage a vicious, unrelenting guerilla war in every city and hamlet, from the highest mountain to the deepest canyon, in the forrests and on the plains. You will not know from where bloody death rains down upon you, for every man woman and child -- from invalid nursing-home resident to cherubic pre-school student -- can shoot the pecker off a flea from 100 yards, and every one of them has an assault rifle under their bed, a shotgun in the closet, a .50 calibre Desert Eagle in their sock drawer, and the newly designed Nathatonia Military Industries model X-69 plasma blaster rifle/proton hip-mortar hung proudly over their mantle next to those lovely old portraits of Grandma.
You still wanna rumble? Don't step into the cage if you're not ready to face the lion, ass-goblin!
The Multinational Corporations of Frawley learned that harsh lesson in a recent war of aggression. Frawley invaded Nathatonia in order to secure the island nation's natural resources for its own profit. After a brief invasion and a short but brutal insurgency, the Nathatonian leadership pushed the little red button causing the Frawley fleet offshore to be vaporized and unleashing a precisely engineered mega-virus on the Frawley forces to which all Nathatonians are immune.
Nathatonia serves as the Christian Countries region's Chief Justice. Due to its frank discussion of issues that most of the bible-thumping pussies in the region find uncomfortable, Nathatonia's competency to serve was challenged. However, this challenge was put down due to solid, logical arguments by Nathatonia and the help of some of the more moderate regional powers.
What lies ahead for Nathatonia? This regional hegemon's leader, Chairman Nathan K. Anderson of the Workers' Party of Nathatonia (WPN), says the five year plan is "to continue to kick ass."
