New Montreal States

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The New Montreal States

New Montreal States
Flag of New Montreal States
Motto: Those who mess with us probably aren't very nice people
none available yet
Region The Kingdom of the Midlands
Capital New Montreal
Official Language(s) french, english
Leader Chief Paladin Frog
Population 2.199 billion
Currency the ounce of marijuana, at 1.8 to the dollar 
NS Sunset XML

The Silver Paladinate of the New Montreal States is a politically free, civil rights intensive nation. Its one moment of glory was finishing 4th in World Cup 11. It is a member of The Kingdom of the Midlands and tends to align with Euroslavia and Nanakaland when dealing with the outside world.

Component States

The New Montreal States are formed of two major areas, the mainland provinces and the Bigtopian provinces and colonies. The mainland is mainly French, with a very limited Anglo population concentrated in the major cities. Provinces are always named after their capital, with the exception of New Montreal and Laval (which is just two large island cities). Provinces on the mainland are: New Montreal and Laval, Valdemont, Ville-Marie, Philemon, Sherbrooke, Sorel, Chateauguay, Labelle, Hull, Angiers, Acadie, Drummondville, Sept-Iles and Gaspe.

(More to be added)


Founding of the New Montreal States

In 1995, after Quebec seceded from Canada in the Referendum (it didn't, I know, but bear with me), 100,000 citizens of the province of all languages and ethnicities decided that they didn't want to hang around while the province degenerated into a deep-frozen banana republic. Using that powerful new tool, the Internet, they elected to pack up and move. Pooling their resources, they purchased supplies, arms and several ships to carry both citizens and belongings off to their new home.

During the confusion and division of government property that followed the secession, the leaders of the group managed to talk the crew of the H.M.S. Bonaventure, a Canadian aircraft carrier stationed in the St. Lawrence, into mutining and throwing in with the refugees. Several smaller ships followed suit, and the motley fleet struck out into the wider world.

In order to secure land for their new nation, the colonists hired themselves out as mercenaries. After working alongside Nanakaland in an attack upon Bigtopia, they were granted lands in both Bigtopia and The Kingdom of the Midlands. The colonists built a new city at what was roughly the center of their new domains, called it New Montreal in hopes of emulating the charm and completely lack of linguistic tension between the average citizens of the old one. They established a constitution dedicated to the principles of noninterference in the rights of citizens, elected a harmless loon who thought he was the videogame character Frog from Chrono Trigger as supreme leader to ensure that they wouldn't be bothered by politicians out to run the whole damn nation, set up a Council of Paladins to tackle whatever actual issues might come up, and let history take its course.

The Aftermath

The NMS joined the UN, but has left as a result of disagreements over several resolutions they consider to be overly restrictive both to their citizens and their government. They do not object to Euroslavia's goal of turning the region into a power in the UN, they just don't want to be a part of it.

The head of state of the NMS wields extensive power, and it was the excesses of one of their leaders that caused the state to collapse into anarchy and ruin. It has recently been revived by the mysterious general (now Chief Paladin) Frog, who has managed to return the economy to its former riches and is now attempting to build up NMS's influence in the foreign arena.

After the falling out between Nanakaland and Euroslavia, the NMS is trying to strike a balance between its two oldest and best allies. One of Frog's primary goals is to protect his nation and people from any armed conflict between these two nations.

The one great moment in NMS history came in the field of sports, when the NMS football team, composed entirely of high school students, finished fourth in World Cup 11.

Current Events

The southern border has come under attack by a renegade government in Intelligent Neighbors, a fellow member of The Kingdom of the Midlands. An official state of war exists after IN fighters attacked NMS anti-air facilities along the border. Fellow regional power Super American VX Man (SAVX) is also threatened by IN's actions, and there are reports that regional leader Euroslavia will also be entering the fray. IN forces have broken through the front lines of defense, and the metropolis of Sorel along the Savaron river is poised to become a battlefield. Forces from SAVX, in conjunction with the NMS army, have driven the IN troops from the city, and secured favorable terms of peace.

The Paladins have qualified for World Cup 27, now underway in Bedistan, and could be doing better, but could also be doing worse.

World Cup 28

The NMS have been selected to host the 28th World Cup alongside fellow Orthodox nation The Archregimancy. Stadiums are being renovated, plans are being laid, and portals to the Dreamed Realm are being placed. Every mother's son has some kind of scheme going to promote their business, the NMS, or both, to the outside world, and some of them are bound to succeed, raising the States' profile in the outside world.



The Legislative Branch of the New Montreal States is divided between the Council of Paladins, a noble and ancient body that has maintained a stable exsistance for centuries, and the Common Council, a recently created morass.

The Council of Paladins

The Council of Paladins consists of one Paladin from each province. They may serve an unlimited number of six-year terms, but must retire at the end of their term if they are older than 80. The method of selecting a Paladin is up to the provinces. Currently there are 37 Paladins on the council. Frog has a tie-breaking vote.

Bills can be passed by a simple majority. Treaties with any foreign power require a 2/3rds majority to pass.

The Common Council

There is also a lower house, The Common Council. It has very little power. Bills passed by the Paladins are not subject to any review or amendment by the Council. The Council can force the Paladins to vote on a bill submitted in the Council simply by passing it, but the Paladins may amend or edit the bill as they desire.

Council seats are appportioned by population. Currently there are 514 council seats, occupied by a variety of political parties (see below). Elections for these seats are held every two years. Seats are awarded on a proportional basis, which guarentees that a large amount of seats and debate time will be held by nutcases. The Paladins seem to like this just fine, and occasionally pass a screwball law one of these parties pushes through so as to encourage them and slow down any actual debate that might take place.

Political Parties

Paladins are forbidden from belonging to or receiving money from formal political parties, but political organizations do exist in the Common Council.

Recent elections have completely shaken up the composition of the Common Council. Knowledgable observes, however, believe that this will have little to no impact on the course charted by the Council of Paladins and Frog.

The States Defense League campaigned on a platform of increased defense spending and greater regional unity in confronting the newly batshit government of Intelligent Neighbors. Its leader, retired Colonel Otto Blumph, is from SAVX and favors stronger ties with that nation. He will ascend to the position of Speaker of the Council when the new council convenes. His party seats 91 MPs out of 500.

The Monastic League, the only intact major party returning from the previous council, saw a slight increase in popularity. It is the focus of the (limited) anti-war sentiment in NMS, and will seat 66 MPs.

The Philemonic Party, created by a band of Philemon University students as a joint senior thesis, was the big surprise of the recent elections, picking up 40 seats from support entirely in college towns and inner-city areas. Their platform combines socially liberal policies with mild fiscal conservatism and fierce support for the national football team.

There were the usual little surprise parties here and there, such as the Drunkard Party, which enjoyed a burst of favorable publicity just before the election with their support of the national hockey team from Casari, the Flying Spaghetti Monster Party which holds that the universe was created by an omnipotent Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Antisocial Party which celebrated their first ever seat by picketing the houses of random voters.


Executive power in the New Montreal States is wielded by the Right Honorable Chief Paladin Frog, who, despite his questionable background, has proven himself to be a fair and moderate statesman. His tenure is lifelong, but he can be removed by a simple majority in a recall election held upon petition by 5% of registered voters.

Bills passed by the Paladins must be approved by Frog. A 3/4th majority of the Paladins can make a bill law if Frog does not approve of it. Treaties must have Frog's approval before they become law.

Frog's appointed successor is Martin Cloutier, a senior diplomat currently on assignment as ambassador to Euroslavia. He is thirty years older than Frog, however, and is widely viewed as a stop-gap appointee until a better successor can be found.


The primary religion of the NMS is Orthodox Christianity, with about 80% of the population adhering to the faith. Despite this, the government retains a strong secular streak. Freedom of conscience is guarenteed, and the rights of other religions to prosletize has never been restricted. About 7% of the population is atheist or agnostic. 4% are Protestant, with the great majority of these coming from the traditional denominations. 2% of the population is Catholic, and the remainder follow a great variety of religions, some quite esoteric in nature.

The NMS Orthodox Church

The NMS Orthodox Church is an autocephalous part of the wider Orthodox Christian Church, and is currently in communion with all major parts of the wider Church. The Church represents about 95% of Orthodox Christians in the States (with outside churches catering mainly to immigrants taking up the remaining part). The currently Patriarch is Vlacheslav I, based at St. John's Cathedral in New Montreal.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) has recently established itself in the NMS. It is estimated that about 2% of the population now follows the orders of its prophet, Bobby Henderson, but this figure is not official and will not be so until the next census. It draws most of its support from the atheist and agnostic community, with a small amount being drawn from practicioners of the other religions.

Jehovah's Witnesses

The sect has come on hard times after a ban on door-to-door evangelising was imposed by several large cities. Many other cities, glad to be rid of an annoyance, have followed suit. The Witnesses brought out their top-notch legal team to fight the bans, but were undone when a group of Witnesses accidentally came calling at the house of the presiding judge after he had a rough day. The case went down to overwhelming defeat and is currently on appeal.


The main sport in the States is football (soccer), although ice hockey also has a large following. The States have participated in World Cups 10 and 11, in each Cup earning themselves a bit of glory. In World Cup 10 they defeated then 4th-ranked Bedistan in qualifying, creating a rivalry between the two nations. In World Cup 11 they advanced to the finals before losing twice to finish 4th overall. The States also participated in the Supercup after failing to qualify in WC10, but finished second to last ahead of only Cockbill Street.

The NMS World Cup Team

In World Cup 10, the States appointed a professional team to represent them. The team began by losing seven straight games in the qualifiers. After that, the Ministry of Morale sacked the entire team and replaced them with selected high school squads from across the States. The high school teams responded with seven wins in 10 games, including one over world power Bedistan. The Ministry has kept sending high school teams to football tourneys ever since, with generally positive results.

After the shocking murder of several players during the final leg of qualifying in World Cup 24 by coach Jean-Rene Filon, the high schools elected to withdraw their players from the final qualifiers and the Cup of Harmony. The Ministry of Morale decided to replace the players with a troupe of mimes for all remaining World Cup action until World Cup 25.

The Paladins football squad has completed qualifiers for World Cup 24, hosted by Druida and Krytenia. The Paladins are in Group 3, a group that has been plagued by fighting between established power Total n Utter Insanity and the newer nation of Shearer Heaven. After being eliminated from contention, the Paladins co-hosted (with The Archregimancy) and finished third in the XVI Cup of Harmony.

The Paladins have finished their run in World Cup 25, barely qualifying after a tight run against the Caprine States and EL CID THE HERO, both much higher ranked than the Paladins. After finishing third in their group, the Paladins can congratulate themselves on a run that was beyond most expectations for them.

The Paladins have finished both qualifers and the group stage in World Cup 26, unaffected by various scandals and controversies that have erupted regarding the hosting of the tournament by Commerce Heights and Oliverry. The Paladins took second in their qualifying group behind then-defending World Cup champions Starblaydia, and finished third in the group stage again.

The Paladin Dome

A state-of-the-art football stadium located in the city of New Montreal, the Paladin Dome was build for World Cup 10 and has recently been restored. It seats 150,000 people, but usually only sells out for World Cup soccer and good rock concerts. The XVI Cup of Harmony is the first major international event the Dome will host, World Cup 28 the second, and infinetly larger.

The XVI Cup of Harmony

Hosted by NMS and fellow Orthodox nation The Archregimancy, invitations for the 16th Cup of Harmony have been issued. The winning bid had to overcome opposition from a bid launched by Kaze Progressa and Oliverry. A successful cup would do much to bolster NMS's image abroad, and help The Archregimancy's long-shot bid to host WC25 along with The Lowland Clans.

The Cup has concluded, with Hockey Canada winning the championship over Casari. The States finished third, beating Kaze Progressa after losing to Casari to end up in the 3rd place match.