New York Jet Fanatics

Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics support The United States of Organisation as UN Delegate

article by Charles Edison

   In breaking news today, the Associated Press has learned that The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics have withdrawn from the
race for U.N. delegate of Alcatraz.  Head Coach Keith E. Guuchueb made the announcement at 5:37 PM on the afternoon of 11/27/04.
   The Nomadic Peoples of New York Jet Fanatics, a very large, socially progressive nation located on the southeastern coast of Alcatraz
Island, appeared to be in perfect position to be awarded the position of U.N. delegate, largely because of Coach Guuchueb's consistent 
attendance, which proved to concerned members of Alcatraz to be a blessing, given the policy of absence and neglect that was instituted
by the previous U.N. delegate, the Federation of Upper Slobovia, a nation which is directly to the north of the Nomadic Peoples of New 
York Jet Fanatics.  Coach Guuchueb's high hopes may have been justified by an extremely witty speech he delivered recently, even if 
nobody heard it.
   Instead, as Coach Guuchueb nobly dictated, "The system is far more important than anything personal glory could ever achieve.  There
are people out there, starving in fanatically right-wing countries or being enslaved and toiling by ruthless dictators that need the 
support of a U.N. delegate that cares.  If the region chooses not to support me, I shall not argue.  We need a U.N. delegate, and 
quickly.  I therefore endorse, with open arms, as the new U.N. delegate of Alcatraz island, The United States of Organisation."
   Two days after the subsequent resignation of Upper Slobovia from the U.N. delegate position and a brief stint at the post by The Free
Lands of Burtona (ex-nation), Coach Guuchueb got his wish.  The United States of Organisation was awarded the position of U.N. delegate. 
Since then, however, he has done nothing to show that he deserves such a title.  Said Offensive Coordinator of New York Jet Fanatics 
Carlos Fleen, "Since the appointment of Organisation as the U.N. delegate three days ago, he has done absolutely nothing in the U.N. 
Two issues he has not voted on.  Is this what we want from our delegate?"
   However, Coach Guuchueb disagrees with this dissenting viewpoint: "I understand the concerns of Coach Fleen, but I do believe that
the United States of Organisation will make a satisfactory delegate.  Give them some time before you attack them."

Charles Edison writes for the Associated Press New York Jet Fanatics chapter.