Pengwiniah

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Pengwiniah
pengwiniah.jpg
Flag of Pengwiniah
Motto: Pengwins 1 : Penguins 0
No Map Available Yet
Region Antarctica
Capital
Official Language(s) English
Leader Count Yellow-Eye
Population Over 6 billion
Currency Beaks, Polar Crowns 
NS Sunset XML

Geography

Pengwiniah is located in the north of Antarctica, with sea access.

Colonies

Pengwiniahn explorers has thus far established three colonies outside the region of Antarctica for the purposes of diplomatic or exploration work. They are as follows

History

The Pengwiniahns of Old

The peoples of Pengwiniah are generally referred to as Pengwiniahns.

Origins

It has been said that the people originally came from many countries, most notably those of Europe. The people formed settlements across the land, and many different groups coexisted. It is believed that at the time (thought to be between 1,500 and 2,000 years ago), the majority of these small tribes thought that they were the only human inhabitants of the land. Despite is being extremely unlikely and without a reason, it is a known that all these tribes started off identically, with repects to language, religion etc.

The main language is and always has been a perfect example of English, despite an awkward way of naming each other. Because of the lack of records, nobody really knows why Pengwiniahns call themselves what they do, but nowadays there is a strict method to follow. Usually, a child will always take the father's family name except in rare and cases. However, it is the traditional right for anyone to give themselves a pseudonym. This is more than likely because of the remoteness of the nation and the lack of communication. The pseudonyms must take the form of [Title] (name of pengwin). The title is an optional inclusion, which is given by others[1], and the name consists of any species of pengwin. Because of the wide variety of pengwin species and titles conferred, there is rarely a problem of knowing who a specific name refers to.[2]

Due to the multinational immigration of Pengwiniah, a modern-day visitor to the nation would not be surprised to find that many different religions that are followed. However, this would be an easy mistake to make. There is in fact only one religion in Pengwiniah, and there has only ever been since records began. Pengwiniahns call this religion Alereism.

The Known History

Many years ago, several tribes managed to establish contact with each other. In some cases, this yielded fruitful results. Trading between tribes proved successful for some, yet other tribes with less resources had already reverted to warmonger-like behaviour, and annexed anyone who was either weak or unwilling to join them. Due to having similar traditions, there was little trouble communication or merging.
This behaviour continued for a long period of time (estimated at around 1,000 years) and eventually resulted in many different nations of varying size. Estimates indicate that there may have been up to five-hundred different 'nations'.

Another thousand years passed, and the majority of the nations had either merged, or vanished off the face of the Earth forever. At the time, only two remained: Tardiness and the people's collective known only as Scoochi2.

After lengthy talks that lasted a decade or so, these two nations decided their best efforts would be much more useful when combined, and they created the People's Republic of Pengwiniah.[3] Initially, a government was chosen from selected members of each previous nation to comprise the First Government of Pengwiniah (FGP). FGP was ruled over by the former leader of Scoochi2, Eemeage Bubanuill (who had always refused a traditional pseudonym name). As his first act as the nations most senior member, Bubanuill decreed that the head of government would always be given the title of Count (which would change to Duke upon leaving government), and thereafter was referred to as Count Eemeage Bubanuill.

Democracy was very important to all at the time. Pengwiniah had just been officially recognised as a nation-state by the world, and especially by the region Antarctica. Elections were made mandatory, with the resulting goverment members then themselves voting for a leader to be Count.

Life was good in Pengwiniah. Technology was improving, and the nation's main source of income was in the Information Technology area. All this was in spite of the fact that many Pengwiniahns did not even know about Pengwiniah, and were still living in (or reverted to) small undiscovered tribes scattered across the land.

Present Day

After several years, the people became unhappy with government. Corruption had taken a foothold in FGP, and a particular nasty Count had just been removed from his seat. Count Yellow-Eye (real name Eifuris Zaloram) was elected in early 2006.

During a popular coúp during early 2007, the government was overthrown, and the nation was declared to henceforth be a monarchy. Many see this as a step backwards, however it was a huge step forward for Pengwiniah, given the still tribal nature and corruption of the government.

The Rebellion

The following is an account as seen transcribed in one of the newspapers of one of Pengwiniah's Antarctican allies, describing the Day of Rebellion. The matter is still a bittersweet subject for Pengwiniahns everywhere, and as yet have no comment on the matter.

The catalyst in the system seemed to be the huge celebrations that occurred on the 6th February[4] 2007, due to it being 'We Love Pengwiniah!' day.[5] In the early afternoon whilst the revellers were dancing the day away, a few hardcore rebels sneaked into the Pengwiniahn government offices and planted several bombs.
Stink bombs.
Disgusted officials ran out of every doorway and called an emergency meeting. Things had gone too far. In a top secret act, every single official voted in favour of removing any old political systems and replacing it with something that could unite every Pengwiniahn in the land. As their very last decision, they voted for monarchy.
Not quite knowing what the people would think of the new ruler, they decided to shout out the news from the window, to the people in the streets below and ask them who should be sovereign.
Maybe due to the intoxication levels, maybe due to the popularity of bloodsports and warfare, the people demanded a fight to the near-death. Whichever official could stand above the rest would be honoured by the people as their new king or queen.
And so for several bloody hours, screams and shouting were all that could be heard.
Meanwhile, up in the old government offices, a stealthy game of warfare could not be seen nor heard. All that is known that many doctors came in that day, and many politicians left.
Finally, one man came out alone. He proclaimed himself King of all Pengwiniah, and Emperor of it's colonies.[6] The people cheered:
Count Yellow-Eye is no longer a count. All hail, King Yellow-Eye!

The Second Government of Pengwiniah

Shortly after the cleanup from the rebellion, King Yellow-Eye himself decreed that traditional pengwin names were not suitable for royalty and government officials, and henceforth is to be known only as King Eifuris the First. This was truly the start of a new Pengwiniah.
Indeed it was, because Pengwiniah was now in the age of Zaloram.[7]

The King decided that due to the failings of FGP, power over the laws of the land should not be determined by the people. The people want what is best for themselves. Eifuris decided that elected officials are nontheless an extrememly loud voice for the individuals of the nation. And thus the King created the Second Government of Pengwiniah (SGP). Wishing his nation to be simultaneously a monarchy and a democracy, the SGP was similar to FGP regarding voting and membership. However, any laws or discussions could only be approved by the sovereign or the heir apparent. Despite the worthlessness of the majority of them, the laws of old Pengwiniah remain until suitable replacements can be made.
The first head of the SGP was Count Aidyer Thaitaig.

Now an old man, Duke Bubanuill is said to be pleased with the Rebellion as FGP was not what he had dreamed it to be when it was established.

Currency

The official currency of Pengwiniah is the Pengwiniahn Beak (¤B). However, there are two monies which are commonly accepted throughout the nation and both are seen as the only acceptable forms by government. The other form is the Polar Crown (PC) (which are used as a regional currency throughout Antarctica).

The 'beaks' were originally the beaks of deceased pengwins. This first came to be because of a huge surge in the pengwin population. Bounties of food and supplies were placed on the creatures by almost all Old Pengwiniahn tribes and the only way to claim this reward was the present the beaks of the culled animals. In the beginning, some greedy hunters tried to claim rewards using penguin beaks[8], however they were all easily noticed due to the lack of pengwin specific markings and warned for doing so, with repeat offenders punished.[9]
Due to the complexity of the beaks, they cannot be easily forged. There is rarely a problem with people attempting to use penguin beaks.

Since the creation of FGP and the formation of Pengwiniah, banks have abolished pengwin beaks in favour of a coinage and note system of wealth transfer. Whilst being easy to produce, they are very complex and extrememly hard to forge, much like the original pengwin beak.

Natual Life

Despite freezing temperatures and a harsh Antarctican environment, there are many native species of plant and animal life present in Pengwiniah.

One of the most noticeable life forms is the pengwin (of which Pengwiniah gets its name). This is a type of bird essentially almost identical to the penguin found elsewhere in the world. In fact, the only noticeable differences are tiny marks near the base of the beaks which look similar to small bird shapes, and the internal structure of the birds. There are many more species of pengwin as there are of penguins, despite small differences between each species.

Military

The Pengwiniahn military is extremely hyperactive. With some of its roots being from warlord descent and with a high amount of technology, Pengwiniah is also a name to be feared on the battlefield. Very frequently, the battle is over before the enemy even knows it had begun. This is not only due to good scouting and intelligence, but also because of the fighting ability of it's troops.

Military Techology

Mallet Space

With high technology in general, the military is able to conceal weaponry extra-dimensionally. Holsters and other forms of arms storage all contain this technology. Simply put, anything inside the holder doesn't exist in this dimension, it is instead 'resting' in a designated spot in a special dimension created specifically by the Pengwiniahn scientists. Part of the weapon must remain outside the portal in order for the user to retrieve the item. To date, no attempts have been made to move living matter through the portals, though it is suspected that said actions will be fatal due to the extremely high amounts of radiation in the dimension that occurred during its creation. This radiation is not carried through the portal at all.

To all who see it, the extra-dimensional portal and the use of it appears as magic and as such there have been no attempts to replicate it. Additionally, the dimension can be 'switched on and off' at will from a central command centre. Although this feature has proven successful in testing and practise, it has yet to be used in actual combat. Whilst not actually created for the specific purpose, switching off the dimension will cause all items breaching the dimensional portal to 'lock'. Anything being stored in this manner will still be visible in this world, yet retrieval will be impossible. As a famous (in Pengwiniah example, a general using the technology during training once attempted to withdraw his sword to find it stuck. Bemused, he put in great efforts to wield his weapon only to have the (wooden) handle shatter in the hands of five soldiers he had ordered to pull it out. It was later revealed that scientists had turned off the dimension for an emergency upgrade.[10]

In addition to the concealment of the weaponry, it has been found that enemies unfamilar with Pengwiniahn troops underestimate the military power and use less force (fewer men, lower tech) than they would normally use in the situation. Because of this, the first battalion of soldiers are known as the Pengwiniahn Unarmed First Forces (PUFF). The second battalion of soldiers are the Pengwiniahn Unarmed Second Forces (PUSF), and the other six battalions all use the same format (the fourth battalion is PUFoF, the fifth PUFiF etc).

Due to it's nature, many scientists working on the top-secret project have dubbed the extra dimension 'Mallet Space', as is often referred to in anime. Mallet Space is somewhat known to the public, but only as a rumour. It is unknown if the technology will ever be authorised for civilian use, or to keep it as purely Pengwiniahn.

The Orbital Laser

Upon the death of Tiberius of Thallos, Sir White-Flipper of PUFF (real name Eletan Theelmoim) was made the General of the Grand Army of Antarctica. This has made him more famous in the world even than Count Yellow-Eye/King Eifuris.
However, because this appointment is not related to the Pengwiniahn Armed Forces (unfortunately, the Grand Army position meant he had to withdraw from PAF), his title remains at Sir due to his recognition as a general for Pengwiniah, and henceforth the Antarctica Grand Army is lead by a general who is not a general.

In the hands of Sir White-Flipper are the keys and commands of the Antarctican Orbital Laser Cannon. With blessing from the Third Count of Pengwiniah (now Duke Olag Whodariv), scientists studied the cannon and managed to create a weaker version, the Pengwiniahn Orbital Laser (POL). The range of the POL is worldwide due to the orbital nature, although scientists are planning on increasing power ouput in the future in case we ever need to shoot the moon :)

The laser is still frequently tested and improved, and is the true cause of the aurora borealis and aurora australis, despite what other nation's petty scientists say about charged particles...
The laser is also spotted in other locations at various times, and is often (although not always!) the cause of Will-o'-the-wisp and ball lightning.

Notes

  1. ^ Pengwiniahns tend to highly rate the people they know and bestow great honours amongst the most popular of them. As such, titles are very important, especially when meeting people from other areas of the nation.
  2. ^ Due to the remoteness of Pengwiniah, pseudonyms as names are usually used only locally or with specific diplomatic purposes. If used at all when initiating contact with strangers, names are usually given of the format: [TITLE] (pseudonym) of the family (family name).
  3. ^ The date of the merger of Tardiness and Scoochi2 was 6th February, 2004.
  4. See above.
  5. ^ 'We Love Pengwiniah' day is an annual event celebrated every year. Initially only celebrated in Pengwiniah, the holiday soon spread to the rest of Antarctica and the Pengwiniahn Colonies, and is now celebrated by Pengwiniahn nationals, allies and friends of the nation worldwide. The day typically involves much in the way of alcohol, dancing, music and merryment.
  6. ^ Whilst technically the title is Emperor of Pengwiniah and Pengwiniahn Territories, it is much preferred by all that the title of King is retained by default.
  7. ^ Since the founding of the Pengwiniahn Royalty, the family name of the ruling monarch is used to determine the legacy of their rules, and as a show of patronage.
  8. ^ The oldest and still most successful form of punishment is the dropping of the criminal into icy water. After being so close to death and occasionally suffering from hypothermia, frostbite and other conditions, receivers of this form of punishment are often said to become Alereist Monks. Other punishments include castration (for males). It is often cited that such offenders will be unable to pass on their 'violent genes' more than they already have, and so should improve the genepool for future generations. This is scientifically unproven, although crime in Pengwiniah is very rare. It is unknown if this is due to the effects or the results of the punishments.
  9. ^ Great care should be used when determining the differences between Pengwiniahn Beaks and pengwin beaks. The former is the currency, the latter the actual animal beak (used as the former).
  10. ^ During the testing phases of the extra-dimensional research it was discovered that in theory, it would be possible that very rarely some of the objects stored there overlapped in the same location. This would cause both weapons to 'lock' permanently. When it was discovered that the error was caused by a rogue calculation (a bumbling scientist forgot to carry the 1!), an emergency upgrade was instituted. There have been no further upgrades since.