Repeal "Common Sense Act II"

Repeal "Common Sense Act II", the pompously and bombastically written nullification of United Nations anti-tort legislation, was first introduced in 2006 by that well-noted buffoon, Dashanzi foreign minister Gao Qiang. After nearly a year of discussion and drafting, it was finally submitted and queued and then adopted by the General Assembly, over four years after the original document's passage. Though Human Rights resolutions are notoriously difficult to kill, especially on the first try, Dashanzi's repeal succeeded easily, with almost 70% of the vote.

Resolution History

There was actually a repeal motion that preceded this one -- one that many nations may have forgotten, but one nation in particular fortunately did not -- in which, after many sovereigntist delegations proceeded to mock the author, the representative of Ecopaeoieauioaeioueauioeia (remember that name, 'cause we're not spelling it again) demanded of them, "I'm assuming the national sovereignty crowd will rally behind a quality repeal. Am I right?" [1] Replied the Kennyite ambassador, "Only if it's funny!" [2] Shortly afterward, the former nation in this exchange vanished from the UN's hallowed halls (presumably to find some consonants to put in its name), and curiously enough, few eyebrows raised when months later, a nation calling itself "Dashanzi" brought forth a repeal that met the Kennyites' stated standards almost perfectly.

UN diplomats were delighted at the vernacular prowess inherent in the text; The Most Glorious Hack even opined that Common Sense author Fantasan "deserves no less than overinflated rhetoric being used to remove his law. It's deliciously ironic for those of us who remember him." [3] A short while later, Dashanzi stole the phrase "alarmist pettifoggery" off the Schwarzchildish delegate, who must have relished the opportunity to make a positive contribution to the UN.

Resolution Text

Description: UN Resolution #30: Common Sense Act II (Category: Human Rights; Strength: Significant) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

Argument: The United Nations,

REGRETFULLY ACKNOWLEDGING that individuals may be reckless, irresponsible, ignorant and/or foolish, and

SOBERLY MINDFUL of the potential for the waste of time and resources represented by such individuals,

NONETHELESS REMAINS AGOG at the chutzpah exhibited in crafting a resolution that seeks to legislate against stupidity, yet which simultaneously fails to account for the myriad factors involved in personal decision-making, and furthermore

RAILS MOST FURIOUSLY at those who seek to undermine the lofty goals of this institution by assailing it with such egregious trivialities and alarmist pettifoggery, and consequently

RIGHTEOUSLY PURIFIES the UN statute of this most disingenuous resolution by

REPEALING United Nations Resolution #30: Common Sense Act II.

Additional Material

• Repeal 'Common Sense Act II' UN floor debate
• Repeal: Common Sense Act II Draft discussion
• Common Sense Act II
• UN Timeline
• Index of UN Resolutions