Sammy Faisano

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Sammy Faisano
Nation Omigodtheykilledkenny
Title Ambassador to Ardchoille
Birthdate April 19, 1982
Place of birth Summit City, K.M.D.
Previous occupations
Political affiliation God-fearing Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot partisan; staunch sovereigntist; State Department hack
Languages English
Education B.A., international relations, Summit City Liberal College
Author of

Samuel Faisano, a fast-rising young diplomat in the Federal Republic State Department and former ambassador to the United Nations (2006-07), now serves as chief of mission at one of his nation's most important embassies, dealing with the suspect regime of Ardchoille. Faisano was appointed to his current post in August 2007 in recognition of his many successful dealings with the Ardchoillean UN delegation while UN ambassador, as well as the close personal (and borderline non-ethical) friendship he maintains with an Ardchoillean intern. Much of Faisano's work keeps him consigned to the Strangers' Bar, as it is a famous haunt of many important Ardchoillean officials, and he is retained by the UN mission as an adviser. His deputy ambassador in Ardrigh is Paradoasm Banofshon.

Early Career

Working his way through college both as personal assistant to President John Thorne and faithful houseboy to Vice President Antigone Morgan, Army 2d Lt. Faisano came highly recommended to the State Department as a diplomatic attaché. Higher-ups in the department were very impressed with his calm, respectful demeanor (a quality rarely seen in OMGTKK diplomats), and instead referred his name to President Manuelo Fernanda as ambassador-at-large. After just two weeks on the job, Faisano was called upon to help defuse a potentially embarrassing situation involving the former ambassador to Gruenberg and a very tasty priceless Wenaist artifact. [1] In recognition of his efforts, Faisano was made acting ambassador to Gruenberg, then nominated for ambassador to the United Nations after serving just a month in Flurthwel.

His appointment coinciding with the Federal Republic's return to the United Nations, Faisano was viewed very skeptically by Senate Liberals, many of whom regarded him as extremist and inexperienced. His chances for confirmation were sealed, however, when his chief Senate opponent, while reading a seedy romance novel into the Senate record, keeled over and died. [2]

UN Ambassador

Young, untested and deferential to his superiors, Faisano was suspected of having been propped up by the State Department as an easily controlled "puppet" after his predecessor's buffoonery at UN Headquarters nearly sparked several international incidents. Add to that the fact that secretary of state Alex Tehrani had previously elected to assume a broader role in negotiating major UN legislation. Faisano indeed never strayed too far from the official department line when it came to dealing in UN affairs, though he took a more active role in running the UN mission and representing the Federal Republic in the General Assembly -- comporting perfectly with the State Department's plans to put "a friendlier face" on its nasty sovereigntist politics. [3]

Faisano authored Unconventional Arms Accord, Prohibition of UN Military and Repeal "Mutual Recognition of Borders" (all of which failed miserably), as well as Accessible Family Planning, a Social Justice proposal he handed off to the Karmicarian delegation, and which eventually became UN Resolution #219. He also instituted the policy of abstaining on Human Rights proposals that are generally well-written and justified, where the previous practice was to oppose all legislation submitted under that category.

Tabloid Scandals and Gossip

Since his assignment to the UN mission, Faisano has become a regular on the NSUN social scene, particularly the United Nations Strangers' Bar, where news media have breathlessly reported incidents such as his run-in with a talking flatulent dragon [4], his involvement in a catfight between his deputy Jessie McArthur and Gruenberg's Princess Jianna [5], the ambassador's audacious dancing with the vice president [6], his efforts to negotiate the release of his predecessor (who was being held by Ardchoilleans, presumably under the Wolfish Convention) [7], his romantic entanglement with a young white novice [8], and the instance where frustration over the UCAA "draft" prompted Faisano to retreat to the bar in order to blow his head off with a holographic gun. [9]

In other venues Faisano has also been spotted tackling both Riley [10] and Princess Jianna [11] to the floor, and burying his face in Palentine Co-Empress Jhessan's bountiful cleavage. [12] His bar dance with Antigone Morgan set off a national scandal and threatened the VP's relationship with Gruenberger Amb. Moltan Bausch. [13]

Personal Life

A grad student at Paradise City University, Faisano holds a bachelor's degree in international relations from Summit City Liberal College. In his spare time he enjoys being an activist for smokers' rights, a Linkin Park groupie and the drummer for the No Doubt tribute band Gwen's Boy Toys. Vain attempts to contain the hijinkish behavior of his no-good stoner buddies is another, involuntary hobby of his. [14] His sister Crystal currently serves as ambassador to Ceorana. [15]

Additional Material

Omigodtheykilledkenny Diplomatic Personnel
Alex Tehrani | Jack Riley | Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang | Antoin Venn | Lenny Beteta | Sammy Faisano | Tad Braxton | Derek Logan | Angela Heimann-Weisenstrauss | Mark Reyes | Abe DeGuzman | Fritz Conway | George Brown | Jim Grady | Jessie McArthur
Omigodtheykilledkenny and the United Nations
Administration and Policies: Department of State | Mission to the United Nations | Voting Record | Creative Solutions Agency | Kennypoll
Mission Staff: Susa Batko-Yovino | Jenny Chiang | Sammy Faisano | Alex Tehrani | Jessie McArthur | George Brown | Jack Riley | Surly the Repealinator
Sponsored Legislation: Repeal "Protection of Dolphins Act" | Repeal "Fossil Fuel Reduction Act" | Repeal "Gay Rights" | Abortion Legality Convention | Unconventional Arms Accord | Prohibition of UN Military | Repeal "Mutual Recognition of Borders" | Accessible Family Planning | Repeal "SPCC Regulation Act" | Repeal "Max Barry Day"