Second War of the Roach

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OOC: Following the fall of Roach-Busters, this war was ignored by Sarzonia for various OOC reasons. In addition, Sarzonia ignored both countries, eventually imposing what is known as a death penalty ignore on Roach-Busters. This meant that, in Sarzonia's in-character view, Roach-Busters had never existed. This war, therefore, has had no effect on the world as it is today, but is retained for the sake of interest.


Second War of the Roach
Dates: late 2004 - early 2005
Nations Militarily Involved: Sarzonia, Artitsa, Praetonia, Roach-Busters, Generia, Parthia
Nations Diplomatically Involved: Pacitalia, Sanctaphrax
Other Nations Minorly Involved: MassPwnage, RedTide2



The Second War of the Roach, also referred to a lesser extent as the Capheratic War, the War of Sarzonian Aggression and the War of Redemption, refers to the conflict between the nations of Roach-Busters and Sarzonia that started in late 2004 and extended into early 2005. The war was fought over civil rights issues in Roach-Busters and the treatment of citizens by the Roach-Busterian leader, Generalissimo J.L. This war, although small in relative scale, would change the structure of politics in more than one country, would indirectly result in the death of a leader and directly result in the near-death of two more, and would change the face of international diplomacy for many years to come.

The War's Title(s)

The Second War of the Roach

The Second War of the Roach is a derivative name created by Sarzonia which has a small reference to the First War of the Roach, in which Sarzonia defended a fledgling Roach-Busters from an attack by Socialist_Cockroaches.

The Capheratic War

The Capheratic War is the Pacitalian name for the conflict. Capheratic comes from the Pacitalian word capherà, or freedom, which in turn refers to the basis on which this war was fought.

The War of Sarzonian Aggression

This is the Generic Empire's term for this conflict. It is based almost certainly on the fact that Generia is Sarzonia's enemy in the war. It is also used by Roach-Busters and Parthia.

The War of Redemption

This is Artitsa's name for the conflict. It refers, like the Pacitalian version, to the cause for this fight of international superpowers. It also may, to a lesser extent refer to Artitsa's positive, truthful strive to revive its reputation after certain events that were frowned upon by the international community (such as the maintenance of a storefront for terrorists - now closed - and the carpet nuking of Feazanthia).

Pre-War History / Causes of the Conflict

Before the conflict erupted, Roach-Busters and Sarzonia were extremely strong allies, siding together and aiding each other in times of conflict. However, this relationship began to fizzle when Roach-Busterian domestic policy changed from democratic, freedom-loving constitutionalism to a more authoritarian, restrictive dictatorship. The change was most evident in the leader, J.L., who changed his title from President to Generalissimo.

The most obvious cause of the war in that regard was the abuse of civil rights in Roach-Busters as a result of this policy change. Events like the execution of those RB citizens disapproving of eggnog and the sham of a trial and subsequent execution of former U.S. President Jimmy Carter were major factors in President Mike Sarzo's decision to sever diplomatic relations with Roach-Busters.

The fact that the war was fought on civil rights policies is probably best represented by the two sides of the fight - it was the democratic, libertarian nations (Sarzonia, Artitsa and Praetonia) pitted against the non-democratic, authoritarian nations (Roach-Busters, Parthia and Generia).

Start of the Conflict

The conflict began when Roach-Busters declared war on Sarzonia two days before Christmas, 2004. After Roach-Busters declared war, Sarzo brought a motion to declare war on Roach-Busters and Generic Empire into Parliament. The House of Delegates narrowly passed the resolution, but it tied in the Senate 26-26. This tie was subsequently broken by Senior Vice President for Internal Affairs Nicole Lewis and was enacted.

The Sarzonian Resolution (23 December 2004)

WHEREAS The nation of Roach-Busters has shown an appalling lack of regard for human rights, as documented herein;

WHEREAS The nation of Roach-Busters has just concluded a mockery of a 'trial' for former U.S. President James Earl Carter;

WHEREAS Roach-Busters has ignored our attempt to call upon them to rescind their barbaric policies

WHEREAS Roach-Busters has shown an appalling propensity to ally itself with some of the world's worst threats to humanity, in particular The Parthians and Generic Empire;

THEREFORE The Incorporated States of Sarzonia announces that it is severing all diplomatic and economic relations with Roach-Busters;

FURTHERMORE The Incorporated States of Sarzonia hereby withdraws its agreement to any non-aggression pact or alliances previously approved between both countries

FURTHERMORE The Incorporated States of Sarzonia gives Roach-Busters Ambassador Terry Sarzo 72 hours notice to vacate the Roach-Busterian embassy or be arrested;

We enact these measures with some regret, but we can no longer abide by those ill-conceived policies.

The Allies Come Into Play

In response, Praetonia immediately sided with Sarzonia and declared war on Roach-Busters. Although Praetonia was honour-bound, if not treaty-bound to support Sarzonia, prominent Praetonian modern historians believe that the Liberal-Imperialist Party was more concerned with gaining further imperial possesions in foreign lands and weakening Generian power in the world than it was about civil rights abuses, although the majority of Praetonians were indeed outraged at Roach-Busters' dropping Sarzonian nationals, including women and children, into the sea.

Roach-Busters' response was seen after the Praetonian declaration. St. John Hospitaller also joined on the side of Sarzonia, but was replaced by Artitsa less than a week later. Eventually, RB received support in the form of a stout declaration of war on Sarzonia and her allies by Generic Empire. Parthia followed soon after with diplomatic condemnations of Sarzonia by Shah Khosru III. There was no official war declaration by Parthia on Sarzonia, Artitsa or Praetonia.

The nations of Pacitalia and Sanctaphrax were brought in as mediators to this conflict to attempt to find a peaceful solution and end the mass murders brought by the major military offences.

Red_Tide2 secretly supplied incendiaries to Roach-Busters to hunt out Sarzonian naval craft - in that respect, Red_Tide2 was a destabiliser for the war and the attempted peace talks.

Further Fuel To The Fire

Roach-Busterian naval soldiers were said to add "fuel to the fire of war" when they threw Sarzonian expatriates overboard that were to be sent back to Sarzonia before the start of the conflict, resulting in mass casualties. It is believed that had President Sarzo had reservations about fighting his now former ally, this was the point where those reservations disappeared.

The War Begins (27 December 2004)

A state of war was officially said to exist between the six militarily-involved nations (see above) on December 27, 2004.

Stage One: The RB Theatre (December-January 2004/05)

Immediately it was clear that Roach-Busters was not as strong as it professed itself to be. Despite large numbers in its military, it could not respond properly to well-planned attacks by the experienced navies of Sarzonia and Praetonia. The latter two nations conventionally bombed coastal targets in Roach-Busters through the use of warships and submarines, and after a few days created a naval blockade that cut Roach-Busters off from trade shipments. This blockade is argued to be one of the best ever enacted in that Roach-Busters was literally unable to mount any further substantial attacks due to the total inability of goods to pass through. Generia did not attempt to break the blockade in the fear that it would waste military resources and the fear that it could not do so by itself.

The war continued into early January and appeared not to have any letup in the near future. The Pacitalian government attempted to use its position as mediator to, as some would argue, force the two sides into peace talks, but all parties involved agreed to attend. Mutual aggression continued until Generalissimo J.L. and President Sarzo agreed to a temporary ceasefire on 4 January 2005.

The Athalone Peace Talks (6-7 January 2005)

At the talks, Sarzonia's president and RB's leader continued their ferocious verbal assaults on each other, while former Pacitalian Prime Minister Timothy Ell attempted desperately to mediate both the situation at hand and the conflict as a whole.

The talks fell apart almost immediately, when a lookalike of Generian chancellor Dmitri Rubellai attempted to assassinate Mike Sarzo with a poison-filled dart. Artitsan president Dimitri Milosvaji stepped in front of the dart and took it in his arm. The poison knocked Milosvaji out, but did not kill him - he was immediately transferred to a nearby civilian hospital, and slowly recovered. In exchange, Dimitri, who had somehow managed to sneak in a pistol, fired at the Generian impostor, killing him. Roach-Busterian leader Generalissimo J.L. attempted a quick escape in the ensuing chaos but was surrounded by SAFD guards. Attempting to escape, he was seen to distract an SAFD guard and headbutt him, but the other twenty guards surrounding him were too much and he was quickly arrested and taken to a Pacitalian jail.

J.L. and his counterparts in Generia were blamed for the assassination plot and J.L. was held in a Pacitalian jail. Unfortunately, there was no reason for Pacitalia to hold him and he was released soon after, on the advice of the Prime Minister.

Mere minutes later and with the status of the Prime Minister of Praetonia still unknown, the acting PM launched a large missile barrage against the Generian capital city. Several missiles were shot down, but many more impacted upon the Generian Imperial Palace. The building was largely destroyed and the Emperor Alexi's wife killed. This would briefly become a contravercial action, but it was quickly obscured first by joy of victory over Roach-Busters and later anguish at the untold sorrows of total war against Generic Empire.

The embarrassment seriously questioned the Pacitalian government's ability to hold proper peace talks and the ability of the country as a whole to protect international diplomats in times of war or personal threat. In response, Sarzo and Ell began exchanging heated comments. Sarzo called Pacitalians arrogant, over-confident and provincialist, while Ell threatened to cut off Pacitalian exports to Sarzonia in response to the comments by Mike Sarzo.

Pacitalia stops mediating...

At that point, it was clear to Ell that Pacitalia was no longer welcome as a mediator in the war. He withdrew Pacitalia as mediator and it was believed that Ell would break the democratic/dictator war stereotype by fighting alongside Roach-Busters and creating a true third ally on the non-democratic side of the war - Parthia was still only diplomatically involved at this point, and did not attend the peace talks.

However, this did not occur. Pacitalia began to move back towards neutrality by offering Roach-Busters the opportunity to work with Pacitalian sociologists, criminologists and government officials on drafting a new, freedom-giving civil rights policy for Roach-Busters, but this was frequently snubbed and disregarded by the Roach-Busterian government.

In response, heated comments between J.L. and Ell began to appear instead of the Sarzo/Ell exchange - it is here that we can note the Sarzonian and Pacitalian leaders mutually apologised soon after the exchange of comments - and people believed Pacitalia would soon start supporting Sarzonia in the war.

Generia Makes Up Some Ground: Operation Bullseye (Early January)

It turned out the assassination plot on Mike Sarzo was more complex than originally believed by the mediating nations and the democratic nations. As the Generian impostor commenced the attempt on Sarzo's life, Generian missile silos opened up and every ASAT missile in the Empire's arsenal rocketed into the stratosphere, destroying substantial amounts of Sarzonian, Artitsan and Praetonian satellite communications equipment (both civilian and military), despite a well-organised ballistic missile defence system on the part of the Praetonians. Around 25% of the GPS network of each of the countries was knocked out by the attacks.

Even more surprising was the secret plan by President Sarzo to instantly recommence attacks on Roach-Busters and Generia should the talks fail. When they did, Sarzo communicated with his cabinet back in Sarzonia, and Godrod (tungsten-composite incendiary rod) attacks started on preassigned targets in the two enemy nations.

It is estimated over 500,000 people (300,000 in Roach-Busters alone) were killed in these instant attacks. Ironically enough, RB's largest city (the capital, RB City) was best off of all Roach-Busterian targets - only 74,300 died there, a city of around 300 million people.

All-Out War Begins: The RB Theatre continues

With the failure of the peace talks came an instant barrage of weaponry, a convention of death, if you will, from both sides of the conflict. Artitsa backed up Sarzonian Godrods with more of their own along with conventional missiles aimed at Generia while Sarzonia continued atmospheric and seabound attacks on RB coastal and inland targets and Generian inland targets. In response, RB launched small attacks on Sarzonian and Praetonian fleets and Generia continued its missile responses on democratic-nation machinery.

The RB theatre was at its peak in mid-January, however, by now, RB was being defeated on every offensive they put forth. At this time, Roach-Busters was considered a minor threat in comparison to Generia, who was still fighting quite fiercely. Parthia attempted a terrorist attack on Sarzonian soil but it was foiled by Sarzonian Secret Service agents right at the airport of entry.

Later on, Praetonian forces successfully fended off a surprise attack by Roach-Busterian naval forces and posed an ultimatum to RB's third-largest metropolis, North City. North City agreed and therefore was surrendered to Praetonian administration.

On 19 January 2005, RB was contemplating surrender, but it would take two more major events to seal the deal.

Whether they liked it or not...

In the late afternoon of 20 January, Sarzo met with his Vice President for Defence, John Newman. The two, along with two other men who have not yet been identified except for being part of the Department of Defence, came up with a major attack plan on Roach-Busters that would decimate Roach-Busterian logistics and possibly force Sarzonia's enemy to surrender.

The plan involved cutting RB supply lines and destroying infrastructure through the secret use of Pacitalian SAFD troops (about 200,000 of them were still stationed in Sarzonia from the liberation of President Sarzo and the aforementioned nation from the tyranny of the Restore Sarzonia Task Force). Later, when RB had no chance to respond to this because of the cut lines and destroyed logistics, Sarzonia would begin its biggest bombardment and assault on Roach-Busters yet, involving further air-to-surface attacks, further seaside missile attacks and a new strategy - the amphibious invasion of Roach-Busterian territory by Sarzonian armed forces.

The kicker in the use of the SAFD was that because the troops were under joint Sarzonian-Pacitalian command, Sarzo could order the troops around without letting the Pacitalian prime minister know.

The SAFD part of the mission was completed amicably - only one commando lost his life in the primary attacks. Hours later, with a damaged RB sitting helpless in the middle of the ocean, Sarzonian forces, in association with the Praetonian naval forces, bombed their way into RB, achieving a full takeover in a matter of three hours.

When they entered Roach-Buster City, they met an enemy far more fierce than any before. The entire populous was armed, and the casualties were high. This is when the Artitsans were called in. 29 Battleships and several thousand aircraft bombed the city throughout the course of one day, leveling the majority of the city, and killing 750,000 people. Injured are estimated in the millions.

A leader assassinated

Unfortunately, Timothy Ell would not live to see the end of the war and would never find out about the secret SAFD use. On 22 January, at a normal dinner with few cabinet agustinates, Ell was assassinated through the use of a powerful dissolvable poison in his wine glass. An aide was captured, interrogated and executed for the crime of treason - the aide would not disclose whether he or she was working for the RB/Generia side or the SAP side.

Roach-Busterian Generalissimo J.L. further damaged Pacitalian-RB relations by absurdly blaming the death of the Prime Minister on outside forces working under the secret command of Mike Sarzo, but the new prime minister, Ell's senior deputy PM Nikos Karagounis, dismissed it. Karagounis, an anti-RB Capitalist, moved to tie off relations with Roach-Busters because he argued they were hurting Pacitalia. The Generalissimo, despite this, continued to assert the belief that Sarzo was responsible for Ell's death.

Pacitalia puts Roach-Busters on probation

A minor event, but relative, took place on 27 January. Karagounis, with the assention of the two houses of legislative assembly in Pacitalia, signed a bill placing the nation of Roach-Busters on diplomatic probation. This meant that Pacitalia would be willing without a doubt to cease relations with that nation should diplomatic hostilities intensify into the possibility of a separate front between Roach-Busters and Pacitalia.

Generalissimo J.L. responded in bitterness, but there was nothing to be done.

The end of an era

Five days later, after continuous attacks by both sides - although by now, the war was really the SAP coalition (as they now called themselves) against Generia - the Generalissimo surrendered to Sarzonia, realising all hope was lost. However, first he, his wife and cabinet attempted to escape RB by military chopper but were intercepted by a Sarzonian carrier 3km offshore. All were captured and J.L. surrendered to Sarzonian naval forces, marking the start of the end of the RB theatre. The ship stayed in place for a few more days to determine the best course of action in prosecuting J.L. It set off for Sarzonia on 3 February.

The bickering continues

Now that J.L. had been captured, the SAP coalition had plenty of breathing room. They could demand unconditional surrender from Roach-Busters if they so desired. Praetonia came out with a list of demands to Roach-Busters which were immediately disqualified by the Generalissimo as unacceptable. However, after intense SAP bombardment of Roach-Busters by naval units and subsequent (albeit small) landings conducted by Sarzonian and Praetonian troops, combined with somewhat relaxed terms, Roach-Busters surrendered. The ship carrying the head of state, executive branch and first lady of Roach-Busters reached Sarzonia on 7 February. They were separated.

J.L. was moved to a maximum-security prison in Artitsa on 12 February 2005 on the grounds that there were rumours he could be broken out. He was eventually joined by his wife Thiansiri, on Valentine's Day, a strange action by two nations who were willing to end the lives of these two people if they felt it was necessary.

MassPwnage enters the fray

That same day, MassPwnage signed minor side agreements with Sarzonia and Praetonia to allow MassPwnage controllers to command supertanks stationed in RB, manufactured by MP, back to MassPwnagian territory. This operation, which is not intended to be hostile, is still in operation at the time of writing.

Current events

Thiansiri Theveenugul is yet again separated from her husband, Generalissimo J.L., in transport to Pacitalia by Artitsan transport plane for reasons unknown to the media. The RB theatre has finished and it is not known how long the Generian theatre will continue.

The Generian Theatre begins (16 February 2005)

To be continued...