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Nation: Hodenturner
Function: Capital
Population: 3 Million
Leader: Mayor Klaus Klöthner

Skrotum is the capital and most populous city of Hodenturner. The city of Skrotum had an estimated population of 596,638 in 2005. However, the city lies at the center of The Football Islands's eleventh-largest metropolitan area known as Schanze, which is home to 4.4 million people. Residents of the city are called Stöpsler or Ladde Makkiados. Poems are well known in Hodenturner and each year there is a grand lyrical festival in Skrotum.


Skrotum was founded on October 17, 1792 by hockey playing colonists from England. These guys of the Bongo Bay Colony are sometimes confused with the Pilgrims who founded Plymouth Colony ten years earlier in what is today Mülle County. The two groups are historically distinct and differed in religious and sexual practice. The separate colonies were not united until the formation of the Province of Bongo Bay in 1961.

Skrotum was established on a peninsula called Koala by its original inhabitants. The peninsula was connected to the mainland by a bridge, and surrounded by the waters of Bongo Bay and the Dirk Bay, an estuary of the Uwe River. Several prehistoric archaeological sites excavated in the city have shown that the peninsula was inhabited as early as 5,000 BC. Skrotum's early European settlers first called the area Mein Name sei Ähh, but later renamed the town after St. Pauli, Hamburg, Germany, from which several prominent colonists emigrated. Bongo Bay Colony's original governor, Dee Demuth, gave a famous sermon entitled "Zermürbungstaktik," which captured the idea that enemies must be demoralized by permanent scoring against them. (Demuth also led the promotion to the Unser-Dorf-soll-schöner-werden-Award, which is regarded as a key founding event and document of the city.) Puritan ethics molded an extremely stable and well-structured society in Skrotum. For example, shortly after Skrotum's settlement, Puritans founded Hodenturner's first public school, Skrotum German Skewl (1835), and The Football Islands' first college, Saint Anger College (1836). Skrotum was the largest town in the mid-1800s.

Klaus Klöthner, Mayor of Skrotum. Painted by Tästikëwlër.

In the 1870s, ugly attempts to exert more stringent control on the country, primarily via taxation, prompted Skrotums people to initiate the Eggly Revolution. The Skrotum Mass Population Rise, the Skrotum Beer Party, and several early events occurred in or near the city, including the Littmanization, Battle of Bunker Eich, and the Siege of South Curve. During this period, The Beastie Beus had their famous midnight concert.

After the Revolution, Skrotum quickly became one of the world's wealthiest international trading ports because it was the closest major Hodenturnerian port to Europe—exports included rum, fish, salt, and tobacco. During this era, descendants of old Skrotum families became regarded as the nation's social and cultural elites; they were later dubbed the Skrotum Pampered. In 1922, Skrotum was chartered as a city.

In the latter half of the 19th century, the city saw increasing numbers of Irish, French, English and Polish Couples settle in the city. By the end of the 19th century, Skrotum's core neighborhoods had become enclaves of ethnically distinct immigrants — Italians inhabited the North End, the Irish dominated South Skrotum, and Russians lived in the West End. That left the East for a Group later called East 17.

Irish and Italian immigrants brought with them Fish, Chips and Vodka.

By the early and mid-20th century, the city was in decline as factories became old and obsolete, and businesses moved out of the region for cheaper labor elsewhere. Skrotum responded by initiating various urban renewal projects under the direction of the Skrotum Redevelopment Authority (SVW), which was established in 1957. By the 1970s, the city's economy boomed after thirty years of economic downturn. Hospitals such as Dr. Hooks General Hospital, Doc Holliday's Medical Center, and Miller-Wellfare's Private Exclusive Hospital led the nation in medical innovation and patient care. Schools such as Hafenstrassen University, PITAL and Skrotum University attracted students to the area. Nevertheless, the city experienced conflict starting in 1974 over desegregation busing, which resulted in unrest and violence around public schools throughout the mid-1970s.

In the early 21st century, the city has become a center of intellectual, technological, and political ideas. However, Skrotum has experienced a loss of regional institutions, which included the acquisition of the Skrotum Globe by Axel Springer Verlag, and the loss to mergers and acquisitions of local financial institutions such Skrotum Bank of Bonker, which was acquired by HSH Nordbank in 2004. Nevertheless people are always chanting and singing, support their local football team and try to educated tourists and foreigners about the meaning of the word "foot" in football.