Difference between revisions of "Ton Ton Macoute"

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'''Warning of others: The Ton Ton Macoute, it Friends and Followers, it Ways and Wanderers, this page and other pages do not exist. Nor have they ever existed. Nor would this cyclopedia currently be disposed to discuss such thing if it did ever exist. You have not been here and you did not see this page. Hope to forget it, lest you remember with woe unceasing.'''
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'''Go now and forget. Do not return.''' ''Reverend-Doktor James Benson''
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The colonial history of [[Sacco and Vanzetti | Sacco & Vanzetti]] was marked by the establishment of an underground religious and political movement, centred around a creature which was known among the natives as the "'''Ton Ton Macoute'''".
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The colonial history of <s>[[Sacco and Vanzetti | Sacco & Vanzetti]]</s> '''The World''' was marked by the establishment of <s>an underground religious and political movement</s> the '''True Faith''', centred around <s>a creature</s> '''The Worshipful''' <s>which was known among the natives as the</s> "'''Ton Ton Macoute'''".
  
Although little is known of this period, a few artifacts have been collected. The first example is a framed miniature, which may be a religious icon of some sort. The inverted Cross, "bloodheart", jungle background and the skeletal figures are images synonymous with the movement.
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Although little is known of this period, a few <s>artifacts</s> '''sacred relics''' have been <s>collected</s> '''stolen'''. The first example is a framed miniature, which may be a religious icon of some sort. The inverted Cross, "bloodheart", jungle background and the skeletal figures are images synonymous with the movement.
  
The second is one of the few surviving original documents. It is believed to be an invocation, perhaps chanted as a children's rhyme or even a prayer.
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The second is one of the few surviving original documents. <s>It is believed to be an invocation, perhaps chanted as a children's rhyme or even a prayer</s>. '''It is chant'''.
  
The third resembles a coin. However, there is no mention of such a coin in any historical studies concerning trade or currency and it is thought to have had a religious rather than a financial purpose. Experts suggest clues to the unravelling of the mystery of this token may be found in the single recovered sheet of a diary kept by an English explorer who went missing more than a century ago. The full text of these two pages is reproduced below.
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The third resembles a coin. However, there is no mention of such a coin in any historical studies concerning trade or currency and it is thought to have had a religious rather than a financial purpose. '''It is called Regle a Trois'''. Experts suggest clues to the unravelling of the mystery of this token may be found in the single recovered sheet of a diary kept by an English <s>explorer</s> '''murdererman''' who <s>went missing</s> was '''cleansed''' more than a century ago. The full text of these two pages is reproduced below.
  
  
== The Legend of the Rule of Three ==
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== <s>The Legend of the Rule of Three</s> How Murdererman was Forgived ==
  
''The following text is an extract taken from the last entry of the recovered journals of gentleman anthropologist Jonathan Forshaw who came to the islands in the 1890s to study the traditions and customs of the indigenous population.''
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''The following text is an extract taken from the last entry of the recovered journals of '''murdererman''' <s>gentleman</s> anthropologist Jonathan Forshaw who came to the islands in the 1890s to study the traditions and customs of the indigenous population.''
  
 
The natives in the interior of these islands are a study to behold. They appear all deference and submission (not but a single man appears unstooped whenever I am in their presence). But spite all this nodding at command their movement to fulfill orders is sluggish and hints even at disrespect.
 
The natives in the interior of these islands are a study to behold. They appear all deference and submission (not but a single man appears unstooped whenever I am in their presence). But spite all this nodding at command their movement to fulfill orders is sluggish and hints even at disrespect.
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== Lies, Half-truths & Pirate Publishing ==
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== <s>Lies, Half-truths & Pirate Publishing</s> This is lies ==
  
The only extensive document related to the Ton Ton Macoute is a discredited, badly-written, badly-spelt, poorly-translated children's book called ''La Temps des Passions'' (sic). This was published by the Shiree Pirate Press, based in [[Watfordshire]], and claimed to be a collaboration between the Ton Ton Macoute and [[The Avatarist]].
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The only extensive document related to the Ton Ton Macoute is a discredited, badly-written, badly-spelt, poorly-translated children's book called ''La Temps des Passions'' (sic)''' taken from The Book of Mulrooney'''. This was published by the Shiree Pirate Press, based in [[Watfordshire]], and claimed to be a collaboration between the Ton Ton Macoute and [[The Avatarist]].
  
 
Even these tacky and untrustworthy products are now extremely rare. They appear to have no collectible value and the primitive printing process used in their production made the pages unsuitable as firelighters.
 
Even these tacky and untrustworthy products are now extremely rare. They appear to have no collectible value and the primitive printing process used in their production made the pages unsuitable as firelighters.
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== A Living Legend ==
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== <s>A Living Legend</s> More sinful lies ==
  
 
Suggestions that the faith is still practised today are met with instant and uproarious laughter by any citizens who are asked about the contemporary evidence of its existence which springs into the public domain from time to time.
 
Suggestions that the faith is still practised today are met with instant and uproarious laughter by any citizens who are asked about the contemporary evidence of its existence which springs into the public domain from time to time.
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== Justice Warning ==
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''This lying page is deemed sacrilege by special meeting of religious order of '''True Faith''' that does not exist at all. If lies about '''Faith''' which is not ever existed are said again or the corrections changed are changed back then the purveyors of lies (to include writers, editors and publishers of this document) will be <u>'''Forgived'''</u>, punished and hounded to the utmost letter of The Law even unto their death <u>and beyond</u>.''
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Friends of the <s>Ton Ton Macoute</s> non-existing Faith
  
 
[[Category:Religions]]
 
[[Category:Religions]]

Revision as of 08:03, 28 November 2004

Warning of others: The Ton Ton Macoute, it Friends and Followers, it Ways and Wanderers, this page and other pages do not exist. Nor have they ever existed. Nor would this cyclopedia currently be disposed to discuss such thing if it did ever exist. You have not been here and you did not see this page. Hope to forget it, lest you remember with woe unceasing.

Go now and forget. Do not return. Reverend-Doktor James Benson

host.jpg
frame.jpg
A Ton Ton Macoute icon

The colonial history of Sacco & Vanzetti The World was marked by the establishment of an underground religious and political movement the True Faith, centred around a creature The Worshipful which was known among the natives as the "Ton Ton Macoute".

Although little is known of this period, a few artifacts sacred relics have been collected stolen. The first example is a framed miniature, which may be a religious icon of some sort. The inverted Cross, "bloodheart", jungle background and the skeletal figures are images synonymous with the movement.

The second is one of the few surviving original documents. It is believed to be an invocation, perhaps chanted as a children's rhyme or even a prayer. It is chant.

The third resembles a coin. However, there is no mention of such a coin in any historical studies concerning trade or currency and it is thought to have had a religious rather than a financial purpose. It is called Regle a Trois. Experts suggest clues to the unravelling of the mystery of this token may be found in the single recovered sheet of a diary kept by an English explorer murdererman who went missing was cleansed more than a century ago. The full text of these two pages is reproduced below.


The Legend of the Rule of Three How Murdererman was Forgived

The following text is an extract taken from the last entry of the recovered journals of murdererman gentleman anthropologist Jonathan Forshaw who came to the islands in the 1890s to study the traditions and customs of the indigenous population.

The natives in the interior of these islands are a study to behold. They appear all deference and submission (not but a single man appears unstooped whenever I am in their presence). But spite all this nodding at command their movement to fulfill orders is sluggish and hints even at disrespect.

None talks but that you question him direct and even then will not look you in the eye, as a man would, but shifts his feet and murmurs into his chest until you charge him to “speak up, speak up”, as you would a child.

prayer1.jpg
A children's rhyme or prayer

It is only through the most painstaking and, it must be admitted, frustrating persistent questioning that anything of the heathen traditions of these savages can be unravelled. More than once I have wished a company of King’s Own Highlanders was at hand to whip the history out of them.

(Although, of course, it is many years since the Highlanders have marched proud here, the islands now run by some despotic foreigners, not much better than the natives lounging in the villages).

Imagine my delight then that in this present sortie amidst these villages I have drawn my most valuable find to date. A quaint artefact no less! And the man who brought it to me must have been in rum as he explained the full meaning of the trinket he brought.

It seems it is something known as a Rule of Three – a tribal miscreant, guilty of some misdemeanours in a village, would, one day, find such a token bestowed upon him. (The first may come as a gift, or handed by an elder) It is looked on as somewhat of a warning.

Now, if the miscreant does not heed the first token and persists in his ways, a second will arrive, this time as if by accident, jumbled in his bedrags or slipped unseen into his pocket, or his bowl of soup or such.

This second is a warning that the third token, called, I believe, a “Ton Ton Macoute” is on its way to him and he must flee, fly and runaway, for the third will mean his death.

Of course I was delighted that I should actually have got my hands on one of these trinkets as these islands have been most tedious in their lack of fruitfulness for the educated historian.

token.jpg
A "Rule of Three"

For weeks I had found nothing of note that could sit as an exhibit upon my return to the civilised world and then, having been given one of these trinkets by the old man, it was but the next day when I chanced upon a second that had somehow become wrapped in my linen.

It is with some impatience that I now seek for a so-called “Ton Ton Macoute” for that will give me the set of three and as marvellous a collection as these tawdry islands are likely to spew forth.

Tomorrow I shall find and question this old man most persistently – tonight I have finished my journal entry and shall walk out into the jungle for a spell before settling into my tent.


Lies, Half-truths & Pirate Publishing This is lies

The only extensive document related to the Ton Ton Macoute is a discredited, badly-written, badly-spelt, poorly-translated children's book called La Temps des Passions (sic) taken from The Book of Mulrooney. This was published by the Shiree Pirate Press, based in Watfordshire, and claimed to be a collaboration between the Ton Ton Macoute and The Avatarist.

Even these tacky and untrustworthy products are now extremely rare. They appear to have no collectible value and the primitive printing process used in their production made the pages unsuitable as firelighters.

An example of one of the scrawled and childish illustrations and a short extract from the garbled text is provided below:

ghost-cover.jpg

But Lorna knew her god was not here. No almighty of the meek dare nuzzle amidst the brimstone passion of these Zephaniah peoples. No New Testament compassion among these worshippers. Here was all blood and revenge and slaughter. Here was a God of passion and fear. Her words murmured the rituals of a lesser god. Deep inside, her heart trembled to the passion of a greater faith.


A Living Legend More sinful lies

Suggestions that the faith is still practised today are met with instant and uproarious laughter by any citizens who are asked about the contemporary evidence of its existence which springs into the public domain from time to time.

Nonetheless, such evidence is persistent. Copies of leaflets similar to the torn sheet shown below are often seen being passed around at demonstrations (usually sparked by United Nations proposals).

fire.jpg

Justice Warning

This lying page is deemed sacrilege by special meeting of religious order of True Faith that does not exist at all. If lies about Faith which is not ever existed are said again or the corrections changed are changed back then the purveyors of lies (to include writers, editors and publishers of this document) will be Forgived, punished and hounded to the utmost letter of The Law even unto their death and beyond.

Friends of the Ton Ton Macoute non-existing Faith