Turta

Turtas look vaguely like humans, except for their massive, hideously misshapen, deformed heads and dopey, vacant stare. They exhibit a childlike naivete (sp?), are profoundly clumsy, and so stupid that it takes them almost thirty seconds to feel pain. They often snort, hoot, giggle, burst into tears, wheeze, or chuckle for no apparent reason. They are unique in that all males and females look exactly the same. All are born without clothing, save for a dirty, slightly baggy pair of gray sweatpants that every Turta is born with. They have no genitalia or anus, and thus never defecate or urinate. Removal of the sweatpants is always fatal. They cannot say any words save their species, 'Turta.' Turtas were originally discovered (and subsequently enslaved by), El Caudillo, although many nations, including Roach-Busters and Parthia, now own Turta slaves of their own.

More info on Turtas:

Average height: 4'5"-5' Average weight: 60 lb. Average I.Q.: 20-35 (highest ever recorded was 35.000001) Description: Their breeding consists of the male Turta rubbing its right ear against the female's left ear; minutes later, the female gives birth orally (and of course, the baby is born with the gray sweatpants). Females give birth to roughly 50-60 babies per annum. Turta blood is purple and looks like grape jelly.