UN Headquarters

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The UN Building
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The UN Headquarters -- a massive complex registered on the World Heritage List, comprising a 40-story building; substantial basement digs; a bar full of drunken diplomats; a saloon for filthy sovereigntist outlaws; an underground bunker where concerned nations secretly devise international-security schemes; and a dank, cobweb-filled dungeon where shadowy figures supposedly plot the UN's every move -- is reserved for conducting business pertaining to the NationStates United Nations. It occupies a secure, undisclosed location somewhere in the NationStates multiverse, and incidents involving militarized penguins, foul-mouthed naval dolphins, Cluichstani "servicewomen," Stripper Commandos, mysterious robed otaku, robot destructor bunnies, sacred goats, scummy Compliance Ministry gnomes, anti-UN gnomes (employed by the OMGTKK delegation), a talking cat, diplomatic dwarves and other odd sapient beings, an ambiguously gay barkeep, and a flatulent dragon going by the name Gurgle -- are common. Many UN ambassadors have permanent offices here, though many delegations have hired on substantial security staff, as much of the complex has been deemed unsafe: mutants and other bizarre creatures are fabled to have overrun large portions of the building's underground real-estate, as well as the floors formerly occupied by Enn and DemonLordEnigma. In addition, packs of overzealous office-stealers constantly prowl the halls, poised to bagsy a departing member's office and/or office supplies at a moment's notice. The facilities are managed by a vast bureaucracy aptly named the UN Building Mgmt, the staff of which tirelessly and thanklessly sees to mountains of paperwork, maintenance, cleaning and divying out much-demanded office space. Most UN business is conducted on the UN Forum or in the enormous, multi-story General Assembly chamber, though other affairs are negotiated in various committee rooms, meeting rooms for the UN's resident think-tanks, and the Strangers' Bar -- envoys often pulling cards from the UN Deck to state their government's position on issues that come before the international body.

A listing of the attributes of each floor of the UN building is listed below.

Floors

B-8

  • Generators (appropriate for nations of all technological developement)
    • Wood Stoves
    • Diesel Generators
    • Nuclear Generators
    • Steam Generators
    • Plasma Generators
    • Magic Generators
  • Offices

B-7

  • Secret Offices
    • Unofficial Listing of Offices on the 7th Basement Floor:

B-6

  • Parking
    • Thermo-nuclear powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 6th Basement Floor:

B-5

  • Parking
    • Hyrdogen fuel celled powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 5th Basement Floor:

B-4

  • Parking
    • Electrically powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 4th Basement Floor:

B-3

  • Parking
    • Diesel and petroleum powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 3rd Basement Floor:

B-2

  • Parking
    • Steam powered vehicles
  • Underground station

B-1

  • Stables
  • Valet Parking

Ground Floor

  • Portals in and out of the building
  • Ship Dock
  • Lobby and waiting rooms
  • Welcome Centre and Registration
  • UN Forum
  • General Assembly of the United Nations (occupies multiple floors)
  • Gift shop
  • UN Building Mgmt offices

1st

  • General Assembly of the United Nations
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 1st Floor:
      • Jey UN Office
      • UN Gnomes Breakroom

2nd

  • General Assembly of the United Nations
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 2nd Floor:
      • UN Building Management Offices

3rd

  • General Assembly of the United Nations
  • Offices

4th

  • Translation Room
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 4th Floor:
      • FAIRTRADE offices, meeting rooms, petting zoo, and tie-dye centre
      • UN Awards Committee Offices

5th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 5th Floor:
      • United Nations' Law Interpretation Department Offices
      • Cluichstan UN Offices

6th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 6th Floor:

7th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 7th Floor:

8th

9th

  • Cigar Lounge and smoking room
  • Library
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 9th Floor:

10th

  • Library
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 10th floor

11th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 11th Floor:

12th

  • Multidenominational chapel
  • UN Headquarters General Hospital
  • Offices

13th

14th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 14th Floor:

15th

16th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 16th Floor:

17th

  • Karaoke Bar
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 17th Floor:
  • First Aid Centre

18th

19th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 19th Floor:

20th

  • Rock Wall
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 20th Floor:
      • Enn UN Offices
  • Sports Centre

21st

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 21st Floor:
      • Fonzoland UN Offices
      • Cobdenia UN Offices (last stall on the left in the disused ladies' toilets)

22nd

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 22nd Floor:

23rd

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 23rd Floor:

24th

  • Offices

25th

  • Food Court
    • McDonalds
  • VIP Area
  • All-Night Buffet

26th

  • Grand Ballroom
  • Offices

27th

  • All night discoteque
  • Offices

28th

  • Bubba Gump Seafood Restaurant
  • Tony's Palace Casino
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 28th Floor:

29th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 29th Floor:
      • Former offices of Enn, now occupied by bizarre creatures decending from Ennish shandies.

30th

31st

  • Shopping Centre
    • Wesco's Supermarket

32nd

  • Shopping Centre
  • Starbucks
  • Lo Fat's Chinese Laundry
  • NSUN Lawyers Frogurt Stand
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 32nd Floor:
      • Cobdenia UN Offices (the airducts above the florists)

33rd

  • Shopping Centre
    • Wawa
    • Walmart
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 33rd Floor:

34th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 34th Floor:

35th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 35th Floor:
      • IRCO Offices and Meeting Rooms

36th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 36th Floor:
      • UNEC Offices and Meeting Rooms

37th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 37th Floor:
      • UNSC Offices and Meeting Rooms
      • Zanski UN Offices

38th

  • Formerly Restaurant La Fou-Fou, currently being demolished for Randomea's UN offices, for serving without a food license.
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 39th Floor

39th

  • Viewing platform
  • Gift shop
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 39th Floor
      • IMO Headquarters

40th

NOTE: Large areas of this floor are considered uninhabitable from the period when occupied by DemonLordEnigma

Roof

  • Helipad
  • Time Machine
  • Teleportation Device
  • Defensive Weapons (installed by UN DEFCON)
  • Offensive Weapons (installed by UN DEFCON)
  • "Offices"
    • Official Listing of "Offices" on the Roof:
  • Former The Syndicate regional offices (Broom closet of the Tank house).

Hovering Vulnerably 69 & 3/4 stories above the roof

  • Offices

Additional Materials