UN Headquarters

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The UN Building, a grotesque, mismatched nightmare of architectural design. To shore up funding (something the UN distinctly lacks), UN Building Mgmt has had to lease out ad space near the ground level.

The UN Headquarters -- a massive complex comprising a 40-story building; substantial basement digs; a bar full of drunken diplomats; a saloon for filthy sovereigntist outlaws; an underground bunker where concerned nations secretly devise international-security schemes; and a dank, cobweb-filled dungeon where shadowy figures supposedly plot the UN's every move -- is reserved for conducting business pertaining to the NationStates United Nations. It occupies a secure, undisclosed location (though some say it sits in Sovereign UN Territory), where incidents involving militarized penguins, foul-mouthed naval dolphins, Cluichstani "servicewomen," Stripper Commandos, mysterious robed otaku, robot destructor bunnies, sacred goats, scummy Compliance Ministry gnomes, anti-UN gnomes (employed by the OMGTKK delegation), a talking cat, diplomatic dwarves and other odd sapient beings, an ambiguously gay barkeep, and a flatulent dragon going by the name Gurgle -- are common. Many UN ambassadors have permanent offices here, though many delegations have had to hire on substantial security staff as much of the complex has been deemed unsafe: mutants and other bizarre creatures are fabled to have overrun large portions of the building's underground real-estate, as well as the floors formerly occupied by Enn and DemonLordEnigma. In addition, packs of overzealous office-stealers constantly prowl the halls, poised to bagsy a departing member's office and/or office supplies at a moment's notice. The facilities are managed by a vast bureaucracy aptly named the UN Building Mgmt, the staff of which tirelessly and thanklessly sees to mountains of paperwork, maintenance, cleaning and divvying out much-demanded office space. Most UN business is conducted on the UN Forum or in the enormous, multi-story General Assembly chamber, though other affairs are negotiated in various committee rooms, meeting rooms for the UN's resident think-tanks, and the Strangers' Bar -- envoys often pulling cards from the UN Deck to state their government's position on issues that come before the international body.

Floor Index

B-8

  • Generators (appropriate for nations of all technological development)
    • Wood Stoves
    • Diesel Generators
    • Nuclear Generators
    • Steam Generators
    • Plasma Generators
    • Magic Generators
  • Offices

B-7

  • Secret Offices
    • Unofficial Listing of Offices on the 7th Basement Floor:

B-6

  • Parking
    • Thermo-nuclear powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 6th Basement Floor:

B-5

  • Parking
    • Hydrogen fuel celled powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 5th Basement Floor:

B-4

  • Parking
    • Electrically powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 4th Basement Floor:

B-3

  • Parking
    • Diesel and petroleum powered vehicles
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 3rd Basement Floor:

B-2

  • Parking
    • Steam powered vehicles
  • Underground station

B-1

  • Stables
  • Valet Parking

Ground Floor

  • Portals in and out of the building
  • Ship Dock
  • Lobby and waiting rooms
  • Welcome Centre and Registration
  • UN Forum
  • Gift shop
  • UN Building Mgmt offices
The General Assembly chambers.

1st

  • General Assembly of the United Nations (occupies multiple floors)
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 1st Floor:
      • Jey UN Office [4]
      • UN Gnomes Breakroom

2nd

  • General Assembly of the United Nations
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 2nd Floor:
      • UN Building Management Offices

3rd

  • General Assembly of the United Nations
  • Offices

4th

  • Translation Room
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 4th Floor:
      • FAIRTRADE offices, meeting rooms, petting zoo, and tie-dye centre
      • UN Awards Committee Offices

5th

6th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 6th Floor:

7th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 7th Floor:

8th

9th

  • Cigar Lounge and smoking room
  • Library
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 9th Floor:

10th

  • Library
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 10th floor

11th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 11th Floor:

12th

  • Multi-denominational chapel
  • UN Headquarters General Hospital
  • Offices

13th

14th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 14th Floor:

15th

16th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 16th Floor:

17th

  • Karaoke Bar
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 17th Floor:
  • First Aid Centre

18th

  • Sky Lobby
  • Cafeteria
  • R&R Repealing Centre Offices

19th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 19th Floor:
Yeldan sculptor Yœthe Gørr's masterpiece, My Struggles amongst the Feral Babies of Glog, stands outside the UN Building.

20th

  • Rock Wall
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 20th Floor:
      • Enn UN Offices
  • Sports Centre

21st

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 21st Floor:
      • Fonzoland UN Offices
      • Cobdenia UN Offices (last stall on the left in the disused ladies' toilets)

22nd

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 22nd Floor:

23rd

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 23rd Floor:

24th

  • Offices

25th

  • Food Court
    • McDonalds
    • Chick-fil-A
  • VIP Area
  • All-Night Buffet

26th

  • Grand Ballroom
  • Offices

27th

28th

  • Bubba Gump Seafood Restaurant
  • Tony's Palace Casino
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 28th Floor:

29th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 29th Floor:
      • Former offices of Enn, now occupied by bizarre creatures descending from Ennish shandies.

30th

31st

  • Shopping Centre
    • Wesco's Supermarket

32nd

  • Shopping Centre
  • Starbucks
  • Lo Fat's Chinese Laundry
  • NSUN Lawyers Frogurt Stand
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 32nd Floor:
      • Cobdenia UN Offices (the air ducts above the florists)

33rd

  • Shopping Centre
    • Wawa
    • Walmart
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 33rd Floor:

34th

35th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 35th Floor:
      • IRCO Offices and Meeting Rooms

36th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 36th Floor:
      • UNEC Offices and Meeting Rooms
      • Abandonned Offices and Meeting Rooms of Neo Azores

37th

  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 37th Floor:
      • UNSC Offices and Meeting Rooms
      • Zanski UN Offices

38th

  • Formerly Restaurant La Fou-Fou, currently being demolished for Randomea's UN offices, for serving without a food license.
  • Offices

39th

  • Viewing platform
  • Gift shop
  • Offices
    • Official Listing of Offices on the 39th Floor
      • IMO Headquarters

40th

NOTE: Large areas of this floor are considered uninhabitable from the period when occupied by DemonLordEnigma

Roof

  • Helipad
  • Time Machine
  • Teleportation Device
  • Defensive Weapons (installed by UN DEFCON)
  • Offensive Weapons (installed by UN DEFCON)
  • "Offices"
    • Official Listing of "Offices" on the Roof:
  • Former The Syndicate regional offices (Broom closet of the Tank house).

Hovering Vulnerably 69 & 3/4 stories above the roof

Additional Materials