Yataghania

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Yataghania
yataghania.jpg
Yataghanian Flag
[Nation Map]
"Keeping Activists Under Control By Use Of Potato Cannon"
United Nations Classification Civil Rights Lovefest
Leader of Yataghania Baron von Estoc
Official Language(s) English, Ecclesiastical Latin, Sanskrit
Region Pye
Population 400 - 500 Million
Capital Zweihandion
National Animal Pope
National Plant Frosty Hemlock
National Sport Rugby
National Pasttime Target Practice
Currency Zombie
ISO Nation Code EXCA
Internet TLD .yat
International Phone Code 3743
UN Status United Nations Delegate of Pye
Stats: NSEconomy

The People's Republic of Yataghania is a country in the region of Pye that resides in the west-northwest section, sharing borders with the slighly larger Dunnathia in the east and the open ocean in the west. It shares its northern border with Golden Sails and Bambeaner to the north, while the southern border has a large fence protecting from any dangerous individuals from the nation of the Tazer-Armed Hilbillies and Tool Shed. Yataghania's navy is very strong and sometimes its ships are mistaken for small islands. It often competes for trade with Golden Sails, but its trade is still one of its strong industries.

Yataghania is about 3.4 million square miles, making it the fifth largest nation in Pye. It also has the fifth largest population, consistantly about 4 million people less than its brother nation Dunnathia. However, Yataghania has naval superiority between the two nations, controlling much of the sea around it.

History

Yataghania has a very war filled history, filled with violent disputes and heavy civil conflict.

Early Colonization

Yataghania was originally colonized by the svärds in 1208. Previously, Yataghania was a country of many wonders, most of them cold. Due to its northern geography, it frequently snowed light puffy snowflakes. When the svärds arrived, they had to turn back due to a lack of scarves or wooly mittens. However, they soon came back in 1209 reloaded and ready to colonize.

The svärds came from a warring land, and they did not know much peace. So, soon after the first villages were established, they were proptly burned to the ground. Thus started a long cycle of building and burning (and the occasional case of hypothermia). This all ended when a man named Spath decided to build a cottage of his own away from civilization. The others liked his idea, and soon everybody was living in a cottage at least 2 miles away from anybody else. Unforunately, these people didn't think to bring spouses, so eventually everyone died alone.

The 2nd Colonization

In 1374, the zwaards came to this snowy place by means of a canoe. Unfortunately, there was only one of them, and when that person stepped onto land, he slipped on the ice and cracked his head. The blow triggered a land mine (placed there by the future navy through use of a one-time use time machine), which then blew the man into tiny bits and sunk his canoe.

The 3rd (and final) Colonization

In 1486, the swaerts came to Yataghania in search of a new land to live in. While these were peaceful people, they had anger management issues some of the time. Fortunately, there were stores of divalproex in the ground that the swaerts found. Using their extensive knowledge of internal heating, they were able to create warm, insulated cottages for themselves. Even the village idiot was able to sleep in a warm bed.

Learning how to cope with the cold, the swaerts even started to use it to their advantage. destroying wonders like the Great Frozen Waterfall to create a functional power source. Through the process of a century, the swaerts started making huge advances in technology. One of the great minds of that time, Dr. Espad Ropar, created a way to smith swords by using snow instead of coals. Soon swords started to be mass produced all over the nation, and to places as far away as the Tropic of Capricorn. To deal with this trade boom, scientist Ricasso Katzbalger created a extremely functional ship called the Aedequia. The aedequia was a ship manned by a powerful motor that was low to the water and extremely fast. It resembled the Greek trireme to a certain extent, as it, like the trireme, rammed enemy boats and sunk them. A crucial part of the 60 Minute War, it is a fast and brutally efficient part of the navy. Even in modern days, the aedequia is still made as small infantry boats.

Anyway, trade was booming, and the nation yet unnamed was prospering. Unfortunately, the nation was split. One side of the nation, the Eromyalcs, wanted to turn the government into a dictatorship and start invading other countries. The Eromyalcs wished to control the trade routes and govern them with an iron fist. More and more swaerts were joining this faction every day, corrupted by power and greed.

On the other hand, the Yataghans, wishing to become a people's republic, strongly disagreed with the Eromyalcs. They were fiercly loyal to their cause and wished nothing more than to be somewhat free. Fortunately for them, on their side was Ricasso Katzbalger. The year was 1629. At this time, the population, including immigrants and the bums on the street, was 1 million.

The 60 Minute War

Ricasso Katzbalger went into a aedequia making frenzy. Thousands were being produced, for war was on the way. On January 37, 1630, at 2:11:20 war was officially declared between the Yataghans and the Eromylacs. The Yataghans sent out a fleet of 10,000 aedequiae, in a attack that was called "The Rush of 2112." With the speed and accuracy of a deadly arrow, they struck the larger, bulkier ships made by inferior shipbuilders. The larger ships were sunk by the hundred, each brought down by the deadly arrows. The aedequiae continued to ram the ships until the entire Eromylac fleet was destroyed. At the same time, an assassinator struck out from behind the bushes and killed the leader of the Eromylacs, Tyrfing Fragarach. The time of the killing was 3:11:20.5. Thus, it is debated whether to call it the 60 Minute War or the 60 Minute and Half Second War. However, history buffs have decided to leave it be.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Culture and so on...

With the population mostly leveled, nobody knew what to do. However, a leader, Albion Solas, rose out of the confusion created order. In honor of the Yataghans' win, the new nation was named Yataghania. Although Albion died not too much later, Yataghania soon evolved into a rather sophisticated culture. By the turn of the 21st century, Yataghania's citizens had become normal everyday people. While they might still have some anger management issues and a little warring blood in them, they are decent, respectable people with a high value for free speech. However, the citizens of Yataghania still pay homage to the history of their nation.

Name

The formal name for a citizen of Yataghania is Yataghanian, but most foreigners just call them Yatans. History buffs call themselves swaerts, and then are promptly beaten up by gangs.

Geography

Terrain

The terrain of Yataghania is mainly comprised of mountains, especially on the eastern side, where the Montag Mountain range runs freely. However, there is the Great Snowy Mine Plain, the primary harvesting source of zombies.

Climate

The weather in Yataghania is primarily snow. Unfortunately for those who dislike snow, it is only sunny for two months out of the whole year. However, there is usually no wind in Yataghania, save for the coast near the Sandbar of Truthiness.

Culture

As much as the Yataghanians don't like to admit it, they have plenty of culture. From national tournaments of gaming to regular rugby matches in the back yard while classical music blasts from the multi-million stereo systems, the culture of Yataghania is a mix-matched hodgepodge smorgasbord of cultural differences.

Music

Playing a heavy role in the life of a regualr citizen, music is all-pervasive in Yataghania. Classical is a favorite in the culture, as well as (alternative/progressive/classic) rock being well liked. Ninety-nine percent of the population likes instrumentals and awesome solos, so any emerging band has to make a statement to the listeners fairly quickly. Unfortunately, any rappers trying to emerge into the scene have unfortunate "accidents," and are often wheeled away on stretchers.

Electronics

While still a little primative in their ideas, Yataghania has a fair electronics development. While preferring some of the old, classic styles, the computers are often average and are certainly nothing special. The computer business has a small but devoted following, leading them to be a fairly sustainable industry.

However, the computer trade is slowly waning as newer and faster computers are being inported from Dunnathia. Noteably the greatest producer of electronics, Dunnathia dominates the computer industry. Thus, newer models are replacing the classics in Yataghania, so many people are jumping the computer "ship" before it sinks underwater.

Gaming

Nevertheless, gaming is a booming industry in Yataghania. While computers are being dumped, more and more attention is being put toward gaming, causing the develoopments to rise drastically. Beating out Dunnathia due to the Dunnathians solely looking at Star Wars-esque games, Yataghania is making several new games, including the highly anticipated Super Busy Hospital (props to its developer, Demetri Martin), in which the player takes care of all the victims from the other games. In one action packed segment, the player performed surgery on the victim, who had been shot 57 times in the head.

Sports

The favorite (and national) sport in Yataghania is rugby. Once an overlooked sport, it quickly became very popular among men, due to the extreme physical contact. The YRL (Yataghanian Rugby League) is made of 24 teams from around the country, playing each other in the spring and fall, with an all-star game in the middle of winter. The motto of the YRL is "It takes leather balls to play rugby."

Of course, not all citizens of Yataghania are physically gifted, and as a result a national chess craze has begun to emerge. The further impacts of this emergence is yet to be seen, but it looks like this could have a large effect on the culture of Yataghania.

Relations

Yataghania is a rather friendly nation that promotes peace. However, it will not hesitate to help resolve disputes. Yataghania has good relations with most every nation in Pye, and does not currently want to engage in any wars. However, it still feels a slight annoyance toward both nations involved in The Baltrion/MUSA Crisis, as well as feelings of hostility toward Tool Shed, as the government believes that Tool Shed consists entirely of posers. Nevertheless, Yataghania has signed the Pye Peace Treaty, and will continue to act in a peaceful manner.