Yojka Yataghans

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Yojka Yataghans
yataghanslogo7ej.jpg
Headquarters: Lut
Nationality: Yojka
Specialty: Football Team
Storefront: none

The Yojka Yataghans, named after the traditional yataghan sword wielded by the Mzi settlers of Yojka, are the national football team that competes in the Zanziik Republic Football League. The ZRFL is currently made up of four cut-throat teams which compete for the much-sought-after ZRFL Trophy, a shiny silver thing. The team that finishes last, however, is awarded the Wooden Spoon.

The Yataghans claim that they play "for the Spoon." Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

The Yataghans play with the trademark Yojka strategy... the Yataghan Defense. It is set-up with two lines of defense, each with two players. Thus: 3-3-2-2.

Coaches

Maruk Zingor, head coach of the Yataghans since their conception, is a short, middle-aged fellow with a bad temper and even worse language. He is described as a cut-throat and a cruel taskmaster, often forcing his team to practice in the mountains.

"The mountain air is good, thin," he has been quoted as saying. "You need more of it to go further, not so much oxygen. You learn to play in the mountains, you play awesome on the ground."

Be that as it may, the Yataghans have lost several excellent players who were just not willing to play in the rocking, unforgiving soil of the mountains. Those who stayed, however, have shown a remarkable increase in endurance. But why so many losses, then?

"I like Spoons, especially the wooden kind," Zingor said, when cornered. "I've already got four, and I want a fifth."

Goalies

Pierre Fontaine - 25 - Calm, composed, and utterly with it, he has a sixth sense as to where the ball will be.

Forwards

Aniela Valborg - 27 The only woman to make the National team, the former tomboy is a cut-throat player with a thirst for blood. She claims that the only reason she plays football is because the national rugby team doesn't "take girls", and that the bloodier the game, the better. Either way, she is a master of the game and has excellent ball-control.

Paolo Popolo - 21 - "Popo" is the youngest member of the National team, and consequently the least played. Off the field, he is nervous and fidgety, but on the field he is a different story.

Evril Lynch - 29 - With double-jointed knees his legs bend in ways that surprise his opponents giving him the edge he needs. Tends to assist rather than score, but he can do either.

Half-Backs

Hank Zweiback - 35 - Hank is a support player, taking the ball short distances and passing them to other players, making interceptions, and stealing the ball from the enemy.

Ulric Haagan - 37 - Having lived his life in the mountains, Ulric is used to thin mountain air, so when he gets back on solid ground his stamina is incredible.

Michael Johanson - 29 - Flashy and something of a show-off, Michael has ball-control skills rivalled only by A. Valborg (striker) and his fancy footwork can distract many.

Full-Backs

Lucius Hans - 39 - Affectionately called "the Hulk", Luc has been mistaken for a boulder in the past, though he can move at surprising speeds.

Scotty Lemarck - 32 - The most determined member of the team, Scotty will hound his targets until they make a mistake.

Clean-Up

Yorrick Dune - 19 - often confused for his twin brother, Yaznak, Yorrick plays the secondary line of defense in the Yataghan Defense strategy favored by Coach Zingor.

Yaznak Dune - 19 - often confused for his twin brother, Yorrick, Yaznak plays the secondary line of defense.