BloodyDays Incorporated
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Mission Statement
Throughout history, some of the best tools of our daily lives originated from tools originally withheld by the government for military use. BloodyDays Incorporated has reversed this historical trend, with the belief that if it's good enough for supporting a person, it's even better for destroying them.
History
The BloodyDays corporation was founded right after the Clowno-Janeroso war by a young graduate of the Saint. ShmickleMickle University of Abusive Business Management and Other Careers Involving Nail-Guns known as Boddie Odore. He saw the amazing potential of military science, but sought a new approach that would allow the common man to understand his glorious national legions, and one that would allow him to test weapons in his parents' basement.
The result of his ambitions was his first prototype weapon. The Model No. 1 Series 1 BreadBox-238 Semi-Automatic Carbohydrate-Based Projectile Delivery System; nicknamed the Toast-Battery. It was assembled primarily from the designs of a 2-slot toaster oven, a simple metal frame for side-arm and back handling, a Game-Boy camera for up to the minute magnification and surveillance, and a Uranium-238 fueled Nuclear Turbine to generate the power of this propulsion.
He patented it under the label of Cookumbury Corporation, the name of his mentor in college. After patenting, he noticed the inconvenience of selling it in convenience stores, as it was so big it would block the porno on the shelves. Instead, he decided to attempt selling it to the military.
However, the Vengeful Clowns military soon rejected the purchase of this design claiming that the only way to effectively fire the gun would be through the use of an english muffin, which has not yet seen an advance that would allow it to maintain an effective firing range beyond 150 yards.
Soon after, Odore died of radiation poisoning for unknown reasons, and he was succeeded by his college-roommate who never did anything but eat pizza and play game boy during his 4 years, Mork CooCooCaChoo.
