Combustianism
The below article was taken largely from the 18th edition of the Encyclopedia HotRodia, published by the HotRodia Publishing Corporation.
Contents
Introduction
Combustianism is a religion that originated in the state of HotRodia.
Beliefs
Combustians worship Supercarious, a deity often referred to as The Engine That Drives the Universe in early creation accounts. The other common moniker for Supercarious is The Great Internally Combusting One.
Customs and Practices
Combustians traditionally offer constant prayer to their god by driving their cars at high speeds, thereby producing exhaust fumes as proscribed by Supercarious in a legendary speech the deity gave to the early HotRodians that he addressed as the "People of the Car." Combustians have a weekly ritual of washing their vehicles every week on Drivday, though there are some more pious adherents that wash their vehicles every day. Combustians also generally refuse to ride bicycles and other vehicles not driven by an engine, as that would constitute a violation of the third of five commandments (The Pentalogue) found in the holy scriptures of Combustianism, called The Manual.
Holy Text
The Manual is comprised of 12 different books, each containing accounts of the origins of Combustianism and of HotRodians in general. The following is an excerpt from the first book of The Manual:
...the HotRod League was cresting a large hill, when Supercarious appeared in the sky in front of the weary band and began speaking in a voice as loud as the rumble of a V12 engine.
Oh privileged People of the Car, you have reached the edge of The Promised Land that I have given to you! Since we are already appropriately located on a hilltop (it's no mountain, but it'll do) I will give you 5 Commandments.
1.) Thou shalt worship Supercarious, the God that hath brought you forth from the land of the treehuggers.
2.) Thou shalt offer a constant prayer to Supercarious, in the form of exhaust fumes.
3.) Thou shalt not ride a vehicle that is not powered by an engine, for this is blaspemy before your God.
4.) Thou shalt multiply upon this land, pave it, and drive at incredibly fast speeds upon it.
5.) Thou shalt drink tequila, for it is good.
Now go forth and get busy, I have to get back to The Great Car Show in The Sky. Junior tends to make a mess of things when I'm gone.
As you may have noticed, Supercarious makes a reference to the Combustian belief in an afterlife of paradise in The Geat Car Show in The Sky, where all Combustians will drink tequila and drive astoundingly beautiful cars at impossible speeds. Unlike some religions, Combustianism has no belief in a hell-like afterlife for those unfaithful to Supercarious. Also unlike some other religions, Combustianism does not make any significant effort at winning converts, but its easygoing nature and rather lenient requirements have caused it to mesh well with many of groups it has encountered. The bikini-clad priestesses probably help with that too.
Adherents
There are approximately 1 billion Combustians in HotRodia, 800 million in HotRodia II, and 600 million in HotRodia III.
