Creative Solutions Agency
Creative UN Solutions Agency is the office charged with bringing the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny into complaince with United Nations mandates. Although the office is charged with finding loopholes in UN legislation, their suggestions are often silly, boneheaded and just plain stupid. Turnover in the policy drafting office has been very high as a result.
Contents
- 1 How a UN Resolution becomes law in OMGTKK
- 1.1 Resolution #61: Abortion Rights
- 1.2 Resolution #81: Definition of Marriage
- 1.3 Resolution #106: Protection of Dolphins Act
- 1.4 Resolution #107: Ban Chemical Weapons
- 1.5 Resolution #122: Promotion of Solar Panels
- 1.6 Resolution #126: Fossil Fuel Reduction Act
- 1.7 Resolution #135: Right to Divorce
- 1.8 Forced Banishment Ban
- 2 Repeals
- 3 Doomsday File
How a UN Resolution becomes law in OMGTKK
Once a resolution passes on the General Assembly floor, a few things will happen: Compliance Ministry gnomes will try to infiltrate the nation's borders, but they are usually held back by the nation's strictly enforced shoot-on-sight policy. Gnomes usually resort to changing the nation's stats via remote-control device, but for laws or regulations to issue to bring the Federal Republic into compliance, Creative Solutions must first examine the legislation, in the time-honored UN tradition of "exploiting loopholes for fun and profit."
Over the years, the Creative Solutions office has issued a good many advisories on UN loopholes, most of them extremely controversial. The following are some examples of Creative Solutions findings.
Resolution #61: Abortion Rights
The Creative UN Solutions Agency has found that the text of UN Resolution #61 only protects the "woman's right" either "to choose whether to have an abortion," or "to have an abortion." It only enjoins member governments not to interfere with the "woman's right." It says nothing about holding abortion doctors responsible for performing abortion procedures. Therefore, federal prosecutors may still prosecute doctors for perfomring abortions, Federal Republic law may still allow family members to sue doctors for wrongful death, the Federal Republic may still impose taxes and additional regulations on abortion clinics to the point that abortion doctors simply decide they can't afford to stay in business -- all the while not interfering with the "woman's right."
The text also specifically enjoins "member governments" not to interfere with the "woman's right," and as state governments are not members of the United Nations, the Federal Republic allows states to infringe upon abortion rights.
The vagueness of Abortion Rights is so apparent (the official Creative Solutions advisory says of the loopholes: "You can drive a Big Rig through them bad boys!"), the Federal Republic actually opposes a repeal of the resolution, fearing a repeal would allow the United Nations to propose stricter abortion rights legislation.
