Jack Riley

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Jack Riley
00016.jpg
Nation
Omigodtheykilledkenny
Title
Ambassador to the United Nations
Age
37
Political Affiliation
Conservative Reform Party; anti-UN sovereigntist hardliner in international affairs

Jack Riley is the ambassador to the United Nations for the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny. An undiplomatic smart-alec with unrelenting contempt for the UN, Riley was an odd choice for his current job: Prior to his appointment, he had suggested, only half-kiddingly, that the UN headquarters be demolished and that the international body move to "more cost-effective digs in the basement of a Paradise City crackhouse. We wouldn't even charge rent."

In his capacity as ambassador, Riley has firmly established himself among the staunchest supporters of national sovereignty, authored two repeals of UN environmental legislation (both defeated), opposed just about every resolution that made its way to the General Assembly floor, sparred with the Ecopoeian deputy ambassador over human-rights legislation, been accused of conspiring to deceive the public into supporting a repeal of the Protection of Dolphins Act, and become the frequent target of the dolphin mafia (more info).

Prior to his foray into diplomacy, Riley was a TV sports commentator, during which time he befriended future President Manuelo Fernanda, then an amateur boxer and a contestant on Sylvester Stallone's reality show The Contender. A graduate of Paradise City University with a degree in communications, Riley also served as a bombastic right-wing commentator for Fox News. His appointment by Fernanda to serve as ambassador enraged Omigodtheykilledkenny liberals who accused the administration of "trying to sabotage the UN." The Senate minority filibustered his nomination, forcing the president to grant him a recess appointment. His term expires in mid-2007.