Difference between revisions of "Kegmenistani Etiquette"

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Etiquette is of great importance within Kegmenistani society. What follows are excerpts from "A Guide to Etiquette". These show some of the more important customs and traditions which should always be followed.

General Etiquette

Conversational Etiquette

A loud tone of voice in conversation is to be avoided, as well as loud laughter. Both are considered vulgar in the extreme.

At the same time, speaking in a whisper, particularly for the purpose of excluding others from a conversation or a confidential aside, is exceptionally rude. If there are matters which must be communicated privately, there is almost always a better time and place to do so than while in the company of more than just the two who are communicating privately.

Conversation should be held in a melodious and friendly tone of voice.

It is considered impolite for a person to address another by first name when in public.

Ask after others, particularly the one with whom you are conversing, but never in the form of a question, as more direct questions are considered blunt and crude. Rather than saying, "How are your parents?", the acceptable form would have been to say, "I trust that your parents are well".

Personal or private matters should never be discussed on the street or in public gatherings.

Controversy and confrontation should be avoided in conversation, and one who assumes a disagreeable manner of speaking or tone of voice should not be met with the same stock-in-trade.

Not every spoken wrong or inaccuracy requires that you address it and set it right. While doing so may make you perfectly right or appear to be perfectly knowledgeable on a subject, it also reveals you to be perfectly petty and boorish.

Always refrain from explaining any expression or word you may use unless asked to do so.

Men and women are advised not to praise themselves, their kin, their possessions, or anything so closely personal as to prevent the listener from participating - other than to listen.

The failures of other people are likewise to be avoided as conversation pieces, and one is considered rude in the extreme if he or she ridicules another.

Unless a gathering is political or religious in nature, it is considered impolite to introduce the topics of religion or politics.

Avoid the use of slang terms and phrases in polite company. Those terms belong to bar-rooms and other low places. In the same vein, by all means should you avoid the vulgar habit of joking at the expense of women.

There is only one proper way to make a request, and that is in the form of a question, not a directive.

Mealtime Etiquette

There are considered to be three common meals of the day and these are referred to as: breakfast for the morning meal; dinner for the mid-day meal; and supper for the evening meal.

At the evening meal, a family share daily routines and experiences, family legends are passed on, and moral lessons shared. At supper, the father leads the family and carved the entree while mother holds court and directs the serving of side dishes and beverages. Dinner is generally served between noon and 2:00 PM, and supper is served anywhere between 3:00 PM and 7:00 PM.

Supper is often followed in the evening by a family time, and then private time in each person's room. Evenings are commonly used for letter-writing, music, handwork, conversation and reading.

Etiquette is different around the family table from what it is in a formal setting. While the fundamental manners such as asking for food to be passed rather than exercising the "boarding-house reach"; chewing with one’s mouth closed; not speaking while food is in one’s mouth; and using a napkin rather than the trousers or skirt to clean of the fingers or mouth when necessary were to be observed regardless of the setting, The primary differences came in where eating utensils were multiplied; where seating was an issue; and even the quality of the utensils, serving pieces, and food would be different.

Formal meals or suppers or dinner parties are associated with "company". As such, they have an etiquette all their own. A formal meal or dinner party is an opportunity to introduce friends and associates to their sanctuary from the world - their home. It is also an opportunity to show off the best of a home’s linens, plates, flatware, mannerliness and hospitality, as well as the house-cleaning skills of the residents of that home. A lady’s best dishes and glasses would be used, and a formal menu would be planned that would commonly include at least four courses. All would be on display for that brief time, including the host and hostesses’ taste in decorating, furnishing their home, and social skills. For some, it is an opportunity to elevate themselves socially by impressing their friends or associates with their good taste and generous larder.

The four courses that are so much a part of a formal meal are soup, fish, an entree, and dessert. While the second course and the entree course often includes wine, dessert would be followed with coffee, and perhaps fruit to help cleanse the palate. The soup or appetizer course includes water, although a rich cream soup or cream sauce for that course might be complemented by serving sherbet or flavored ices after the soup or appetizer to help cleanse the palate.

The household’s mistress sits at the head of the table, while the master is seated at the foot of the table. Guests are seated, and thereby mixed, according to personality so as to keep the conversation flowing and lively. Married couples are almost never seated next to each other. A dinner party is a social occasion, not so much a family affair.

The table would include soup bowls, bread plates, dinner plates, glasses for water and wine, silverware (often a multitude of specialized utensils beyond the simple fork-knife-spoon), knife rests, salt cellars, and napkins; a fish course would add a fish fork and fish plate to each place setting. After those dishes had been cleared from the table in preparation for dessert, dessert would require dessert plates, forks or spoons, finger glasses, and perhaps fruit plates and fruit knives as well. One should never eat a fruit (other than a banana) in the hand; instead, when at table one should place it on a plate, cut it with a knife, and eat it with a fork.

Finger glasses - not finger "bowls" - are an elegant accessory to a meal that normally appears with the dessert course. The proper manner in which to make use of one is to dip your finger tips into the warm water of the finger glass, wet your napkin with your now-wet fingers, and use the damp portion of the napkin to touch to your face and mouth. It is a genteel complement to the meal's functional pieces. During this ablution, men are advised to pay particular attention to "facial hair residue", or the crumbs and other food particles that tend to gather and linger in mustaches, goatees, and beards. People should be reminded that the finger glass should not be considered an opportunity for public bathing, nor are they intended to provide a mouth wash - and ladies and gentlemen should never, ever rinse their mouths out and expectorate into the finger glasses or water glasses.

While at table, ladies and gentlemen should been mindful to always take what is offered them, even if you they do not want it. This includes wine or other adult beverages. If offered a food that was not to their liking, they are expected to take a sampling. For those who chose not to partake of alcoholic beverages, good manners require that they receive the glass offered with thanks, and merely - but at least - touch the glass to their lips.

Church Etiquette