NFL Speak

NFL Speak

NFL Speak is a language that was primarily adopted by the Pristine Forests of New York Jet Fanatics. There are 3 dialects of NFL Speak, namely they are Offensive, Defensive and Special Teams. A similar but dead language known as XFL Speak is used in the Bolivarian Republic of HE HATE ME.

Offensive NFL Speak

Offensive NFL Speak is spoken primarily on the eastern coast of New York Jet Fanatics. It uses the characters in the latin alphabet, in addition to the following characters: á, é, í, ó, and ú. NFL speak is the official dialect of New York Jet Fanatics, and all political processes in New York Jet Fanatics, and in the capitol of New York Jet Fanatics, Meadowlands City. Many persons who do not reside on the eastern coast of New York Jet Fanatics have difficulty understanding Offensive NFL Speak. It is regularly taught to persons not residing on the eastern coast as a part of New York Jet Fanatics' oustanding and well funded education program.

Defensive NFL Speak

Defensive NFL Speak is spoken regularly in Western New York Jet Fanatics. It uses the characters of the latin alphabet, in addition to the following characters: ä, ë, ï, ö, ü, æ, ƒ, Σ, and &. It is quite similar to Offensive NFL Speak in that many nouns and objects are either the same or cognates. However, there are different rules for stress because there are no accent marks. Instead, the stress of any letter is determined by a complex set of grammatical rules. In addition, dipthongs and tripthongs are nonexistent unless one of the vowels contains an umlaut. This is to determine if the vowel is pronounced fully or is included in the dipthong/tripthong. The other important difference between Offensive and Defensive NFL Speak is that the rules for grammar in Defensive NFL Speak differ greatly from those of Offensive NFL speak. It is not uncommon for speakers of either dialect to be able to communicate with others, but with extremely poor grammar. An approximate characterization of the difference in grammar is represented by the following sentence in somewhat inaccurate english: For the morning next went the cow at the barn. The meaning of this sentence in english is: The next morning the cow went into the barn. As the reader can see, communication between these two dialects is possible, although difficult for this reason.

Special Teams NFL Speak

Special Teams NFL Speak is spoken regularly in parts of southern New York Jet Fanatics, in cities such as Gakkic, Sack Exchange City, Mawaeus, St. Azzalone, and Hermanton. Orally, it is almost identical to Offensive NFL Speak. However, it uses a written set of characters which are completely different from that of Offensive NFL Speak. In the past, before the year 2300, Special Teams NFL Speak was the only written language used in southern New York Jet Fanatics, however, in more recent years children in southern New York Jet Fanatics have generally been taught in school to speak and write both Special Teams and Offensive NFL Speak. Nonetheless, this discrepancy still causes problems for some in New York Jet Fanatics.

Archaic NFL Speak

Archaic NFL Speak is rarely spoken today. However, it is the root language of all three modern dialects of NFL Speak. It is believed to have been originated from Alcatrazian, the primary root of most known languages on Alcatraz. To date, there is no known written variation of Archaic NFL Speak.

A note: Since the proliferation of NFL Speak, New York Jet Fanatics has adopted as official secondary languages, English, Spanish and German. These languages are regularly taught throughout the nation and are commonly used. On occasion, two persons who speak different dialects of NFL Speak use English, Spanish or German to communicate.

XFL Speak

XFL Speak is an ancient language of HE HATE ME which almost no one speaks fluently anymore. Its use mainly concerns specialists and linguists, though it is held in high regard in the nation of HE HATE ME and continues to function as a literary language that commands respect similar to that of Latin in medieval Europe or Sanskrit in Hindu India. XFL Speak leaves no descendent languages (though at one time 300 million people around the world spoke XFL and its abrupt disappearance from the face of the earth puzzles historians, linguists, and sociologists to this day); today nearly all people of HE HATE ME speak English, which is the nation's only official language. XFL Speak descended from Archaic NFL Speak; the break between XFL Speak and the evolution of the main-line NFL languages occurred about 2000 years ago. XFL is a nearly complete isolating language; the vast majority of XFL morphemes are free morphemes and words are rarely inflected. Most colloquial sentences are of the subject-verb-object construction familiar to English speakers but in poetic settings word order is commonly changed with no loss of comprehension. XFL Speak is perhaps unique among isolating languages in that its grammar differentiates between noun genders. The language is written with somewhat modified Chinese characters called Han-So; in Han-So, the words "XFL Speak" are written "極語," literally, "eXtreme language."