PIE Button

Basics

The PIE Button, possessed by the Clarissa metro-region's Department of Offense and Defense (Mostly Offense), is a button that can be used to signal Teh Sequence, which involves massive chaos resulting in billions, even trillions of dollars in damage, but with few fatalities.

The Button

The PIE button is a small, unassuming button on one of the control panels of one of the DoOD(MO)'s CEMDAC's. Its purpose is start the execution of notification and control programs involved in Teh Sequence.

Teh Sequence

The sequence that results from pressing the PIE Button involves a large number of people and disgusting materials and pictures. This sequence will take anywhere from 6-8 hours to complete, and when finished, will offend millions, disgust thousands, and require professional cleaning services to remove the stench and stickiness.

Showers

Quadrant IV in Clarissa, the high-class residential quadrant, is dotted with a number of gold-plated sprinkler heads, called Shower Heads, connected to a high-powered sprinkler system. When Teh Sequence is called upon, a group of technicians will mix a pungent powder with the large quantity of water that will be pumped into the sprinkler system. This mix will be sprayed liberally on lawns, cars, houses, roads, and people unlucky enough to be outside when the shower begins.

IE Kill

While The City's well-heeled citizens suffer under the rain of doom, the city website, and many websites of the locomotive works, will begin offering the nastiest spyware available to any Internet Explorer-using visitors who stumble upon them. The spyware will lock the IE home page to one of four bad websites and send keystrokes to the DoOD(MO)'s old Linux box, which will redirect these keystrokes to /dev/null. A second attempt to visit the affected websites with IE will lead to an automatic installation of Firefox and deletion of iexplore.exe and all IE icons. If a third attempt is made, however it is done, the spyware component will attempt to flash the BIOS with a program that displays an obscene picture on the screen.

Trinity Exposure

A number of covert connections exist between many large signs and the small CEMDAC by the mayor's desk. These connections will be used to display a number of extremely disgusting and obscene pictures on these large signs, which reach thousands, if not millions, every day.

Pieing

Ultimately, about three hours after the pressing of the PIE Button, several bombers will take off from the municipal airport carrying a payload of hot apple pie filling, which will be dropped on a number of cities the mayor thinks could use a pieing. The result will be a sticky mess everywhere and possible nasty injuries to some who happened to be in the way.

Aftermath

After the bombers have returned to the base (and by the way, if one gets shot down, a small nuclear bomb will go off in the plane) and order is restored to the Jumbotrons, the lasting damage will consist of an obnoxious odor in the rich part of Clarissa, a number of flashed BIOSes, a sticky mess in several other cities, and hordes of people scarred for life by disgusting pictures easily found on TEH INTARWEB.

In conclusion, the PIE button embodies some of the worst things the cynanthropes can pull off, and if it is ever used, the results will be etched into the minds of those who have witnessed its power.