Talk:Irashiru

Most of this article sounds like the plotline of a very bad film (no offence intended). This part especially. The fearless, self-sacrificing hero who defeats the "evil" communists? It's your nation, and hence up to you, but if I were you I'd rewrite it in part, and make it... I don't know, more interesting, more complex, less stereotypical. And more NPOV too (this article looks more like a piece of one-sided ideological propaganda than a neutral encyclopedia article).
Just some friendly advice. Thank you for contributing to NSwiki. Aridd 22:12, 21 June 2006 (GMT)

Response

Yeah, I have currently written that history as just a basis, although it is meant to be quite biased against Communism because a) This is based on my personal opinions b) I aimed to make their hatred towards Communism understandable as they were almost genocided completely by a large Communist dictatorship and c) This is a part of a history that myself and several others are making, it may end up as a proper novel but at the moment we are using our nationstates accounts as the basis for these wiki's and there is much fine tuning to be done.

I respect your comments and additions, and I will take them into consideration in future edits, as for the cheap movie and hero aspect, I admit that is what it looks like, and I was bored :P It will be fine tuned later. Also, with images of Mel Gibson in "Braveheart" it is hard not to make a matyr when describing a liberation battle :P

Although, I would like to ask if there were any sections of my wiki that you liked? So that I can look at them and try to implement that style into the other areas of my wiki.

Lord Irashiru 20:11, 22 June 2006 (GMT)

Also, I would just like to add that my personal views against Communism are based on it's implementation throughout history and those who were behind it, in theory I believe that it is a perfect idea, but Karl Marx never took into consideration that there cannot be a communist utopia so long as there is greed, which unfortunately is like a bad habit, it appears in everyone and refuses to go away.

Lord Irashiru 20:43, 22 June 2006 (GMT)

Ah. Yes, it did strike me as being possibly inspired by Braveheart (a film which I personally do consider rather too simplistic). Anyway, I understand your perspective better now. Good luck to you and your friends in developing your nations' histories.

To answer your question, your article provides a good overview of important aspects, and you've obviously given this nation some thought. The economic overview is quite good, for example. A suggestion I might make would be to add something about your nation's culture (anything from customs and habits, to religion, art, literature, aspects of popular culture... Anything to distinguish your citizens' way of life from that of other nations.) It'll make your nation more unique and "alive". But that's just a suggestion, and just something to think about as a later touch, perhaps. Aridd 21:26, 22 June 2006 (GMT)

Yeah, that sounds good, thanks. And yes, Braveheart is a pretty bad view on the Scottish Wars of Independence, the real sources are so much better (Although, William Wallace was undoubtedly a strong warrior, that's a fact that both sources agree on :P), I will put thought into the cultures section and try to remove some bias in my history sections. And shorten them down (I don't know if it annoyed you, but all the scrolling is starting to get to me :P) Lord Irashiru 21:47, 22 June 2006 (GMT)

New Update

That's me done a new overhaul of the Irashiru wiki, I have changed the founding of Irashiru and the Nevertians section, hopefully now it will be a better read and will be less Hollywood. Also, I have added in a lot more information about the history. So hopefully I haven't left anymore blanks. Thoughts and opinions please. Culture section coming soon. Lord Irashiru 22:15, 24 June 2006 (GMT)

Much better. Nicely done. Regarding length, if ever you feel it's too long you can create seperate articles such as History of Irashiru, Economy of Irashiru or Culture of Irashiru. In which case the main Irashiru article would give only a brief introduction in that field, and would link to a more detailed article on that particular aspect. Aridd 23:10, 24 June 2006 (GMT)

Thanks for the response, I have added the Culture section, and yes, I was thinking about making seperate pages later on, but since this is no where near finished I will leave it on one page. Although I am definately going to move the "Founding of Sheogorath" to the Sheogorath page since it is more appropriate there. Thanks for the kind opinion though, I am glad I made it better in the eyes of it's only critic :P Lord Irashiru 23:18, 24 June 2006 (GMT)