The Dazza Test

The offical JGN "How Dazza are you" Test

1. Do you wear underwear?

• (a) Only if I'm allowed to take it off in public
• (b) Only if I'm bothered
• (c) Sometimes
• (d) Most of the time
• (e) I must, I don't want to indecently expose myself

2. You're caught swimming naked and there's a TV crew watching, what do you do?

• (a) Walk up the TV crew and ask "Guys, you seen my clothes?"
• (b) Get out the pool and walk off pretending they are not there
• (c) Try to sneak out of the pool unnoticed
• (d) Hide until the TV crew go away
• (e) No, it's a nightmare!

3. It's a raging party, and the arranged female stripper can't come, you

• (a) Do the stripper's job because you want to for free, and getting naked is fun
• (b) Get paid for being the stripper
• (c) Hope no one notices there's no stripper
• (d) Leave the party because the host is a pervert
• (e) I'd never go parties with strippers

4. What sort of female friends you have?

• (a) Nympho party animals who want to sleep with your husband
• (b) Women who like their shopping
• (c) Friends who leave my family alone
• (d) Bible bashing moral women
• (e) Only the good people from my church

5. What's your voice like?

• (a) Dazza's little girl Kate Dallas! Not related to Dazza are ya?
• (b) Girly and female, you sound like female or someone's daughter or that cheerleader down the road
• (c) Feminine, we think you are a female.
• (d) A man's voice. Dazza is not a man
• (e) Darth Vader, err got one of those voice boxes?

6. Your ideal job

• (a) International Village Bike
• (b) Football player with attention whore syndrome
• (c) A media person
• (d) Some office job
• (e) Nun or Preacher

7. Nude pictures of you are

• (a) Good, people visit my web site, buy my stuff and have good time. In fact, I release more of them. Don't care if I'm called a whore.
• (b) Good, as long as I look good
• (c) Bad, I don't want to be known as a dirty whore
• (d) Evil, porn is EVIL
• (e) Satanic, it leads the end of the world

8. Why you look so good and if you should show your body off?

• (a) That's why I was born baby! Use it or lose it.
• (b) I look good and want to show it, but not obscenely
• (c) My body is not public property
• (d) I'm good Christian girl and I cover up
• (e) I'm just real ugly

9. I love football because

• (a) Oooooooooooh baby, football is my life!
• (b) I'm allowed to sleep my way to media infamy
• (c) It gives me a wage for living
• (d) Not much a sporting person myself
• (e) I actually hate football!

10. How many kids do you want?

• (a) It's baby factory here! Who's next?
• (b) Lots of babies, but not a football team
• (c) Just a few
• (d) I don't want kids!
• (e) I'm infertile ...

11. Can you fix a computer?

• (a) I'm a fantasy cybergirl baby!
• (b) I'm a computer nerd!
• (c) I'm alright but no expert though
• (d) I'm a technophobe, I only computers when I need to
• (e) I'm scared! My computer is hard to use.

12. What sort of bimbo are you?

• (a) I'm a bitch with an IQ of 150, own a billion dollar business empire and everyone knows me intentionally. Yeah I'm a bimbo with talent even if I look dumb. Give me a cuddle!
• (b) I have to get where I am
• (c) I pretend to be a bimbo to get ahead in business
• (d) OK, I'm not dumb but sometimes ...
• (e) I can reed and rite!

13. You want that promotion you deserve, how to get it?

• (a) You wonder if sleeping with the boss once with work. You might be in his office now working on the problem now.
• (b) You try to soften up the boss with your female charms
• (c) You apply for one through official channels even though it never seems to work
• (d) You work harder, or at least pretend you are working harder.
• (e) You wait for the boss to be nice enough to give one out

A = 5 points, B = 4 points, C = 3 points, D = 2 points, and E = 1 point

• 65 - Dazza, stop cheating! If you aren't Dazza or Kate Dallas, ring JGN now. We'd like to talk to you.
• 53 to 64 - Well done, JGN wants to talk to you! I hope you didn't get that Dazza Dallas to fill this survey.
• 40 to 52 - You are like giggle-pots Dazza, but not perverted enough
• 26 to 39 - You have some Dazza habits but you're still normal
• 14 to 26 - We think you're an ordinary women
• 01 to 13 - You're not a Dazza at all, but with this score we don't want know you
• 00 - Nice cave you live in?

PS - If this survey offends people, JGN don't care.