Thoughtlessness Civil War

The Thoughtlessness Civil War was a bitter conflict fought in former Rogue Nation of Thoughtlessness.

Historical Context for the Thoughtlessness Civil War

In the year 2288, Pope Eddie Jaworski passed away. Pope Jaworski ruled Thoughtlessness with an iron fist and dictated everything possible about Thoughtlessness. He was worhsipped by the rich for his financial policies, which greatly benefited them, but abhorred by the poor for the same reason. Therefore, when he died, the rich wanted everything to remain as it was, as power in Thoughtlessness came from money. They became known as the Traditionalists, and were led by Pope Jaworski's wife, Anne Jaworski and their armies in the war that followed consisted mainly of mercenaries. The poor, however, wanted reform. They became known as the Progressives. They were led by the brilliant tactician, the great General Edward Rambnasque. Yet a third faction, a group of suicidal religious fanatics who followed the principles of Greek Initiation simply wanted to blow up everything in sight. They were known as the Suicidists. And, then, another nation whose name today is not known, wanted to grab Thoughtlessness for its territory.

The Battles of Lake Clemson

Lake Clemson lied in Northeastern Thoughtlessness, a massive lake at the foot of a huge range of mountains directly toward the south. Tactically, it was an absolutely ideal fortress. Some 400 battles occured on the meadows on the eastern bank of Lake Clemson. The vast majority of them consisted of a small group of mercenaries trying to explore the area being ambushed and horribly overpowered by a massive force of Progressive infantry. Some of them consisted of overzealous Suicidists running into the region and blowing themselves up beside the massive fortress to no effect whatsoever. General Rambnasque understood the critical nature in terms of tactics of this area and thus, he abandoned nearly all of his control in Eastern Thoughtlessness, in favor of controlling this area in the year 2290.

The Battle of Ketchup

The Battle of Ketchup was a hugely important Progressive Victory. A massive force of mercenaries came to Lake Clemson, looking to destroy the Progressive hold on it, and thusly the Progressive hold on the empire. It was a bloody day on June 11, 2290, but General Rambnasque managed to maneuver the bulk of his forces around the lake, where he was able to ambush the defenses of the Traditionalist forces. The Traditionalist forces, in turn, attempted to destroy the Progressive camp by their maneuverability, but General Rambnasque managed to overcome the difficulty of the size of his army by splitting several units back to camp to deal with this problem. They managed to obtain the highest ground of the camp and forced the Traditionalist army backward... into the lake. Some of the Traditionalist mercenaries were able to flee, but since about half of the progressive army occupied their camp, return was impossible. They found themselves cornered, backing up into the lake. The Progressive forces immediately surrounded the lake, and the Traditionalist mercenaries were trapped, and they drowned. Their battle plan had failed desperately due to the brilliant maneuvering of General Rambnasque's army, and there were upwards of 30,000 Traditionalist casualties while there resulted only about 2,000 Progressive losses.

The Battle of Mayonnaise

After the Battle of Ketchup, the Traditionalist forces waited to recuperate their lost armies. They were irked by the constant Suicidist invasions, but they managed to amass a ground army of greater than 2,000,000 mercenaries by February 2292. General Rambnasque put up a fantastic battle, as he managed to hold the 2,000,000+ mercenaries at bay for over 2 weeks at Lake Clemson. However, eventually he was overwhelmed by the sheer number of traditionalist armies; They were literally throwing everything they had at him. His 600,000 men were no match, even with his military brilliance and tactical advantage, for the Traditionalist forces. However, he managed to inflict around 900,000 Traditionalist casualties before he made the decision to flee with about 8,000 troops left. He fled to Gassas, a valley west of Lake Clemson. He knew it would be almost impossible to defend, but at this point, the war was nearly over. The only remaining options were to wait and hope for the best.

The Nuclear Launch

General Rambnasque got what he wanted in the end: The Traditionalist forces were killed. A neighboring nation, whose name is disputed by historians to this day, decided to enter the conflict on the basis of increasing their territory. Their scheme worked to perfection, as their 21 nuclear bombs decimated the empire. On December 29, 2294, they took control of the region, finding no opposition. However, they found the area too unstable and radioactive to work with. Therefore, by 2296, they abandoned it. Thoughtlessness remains abandoned to this day.